i long for a love
that will break me,
eat me whole
and spit me out aching.
i want to love
as achilles loved patroclus,
with a burning in my heart
and a madness
that would tear
even the fates apart.

i don't think you understand
just how hungry i am for you
my lips water
at the very thought
of your skin against mine
all teeth and claws
and hands in my hair
eyes alive with starvation
fork and knife ready
begging you
to let me eat you whole.

even now
i am haunted by you still
i see you everywhere,
i hear you every time
the waves crash into the shore
and feel you each time
the wind caresses my skin.
our songs play
and my day comes to hault
i'm back to those summer nights,
wrapped inside your arms
honey and clementines
bleeding from our lips.

in those moments i realise
how deeply you are buried
into my being,
as if my bones are made
from magnets
searching just for you.

you told me
when you closed your eyes
and you felt your blood
start to boil
it's my face you see
all without ever
having my body.

i smiled
and replied;
lover,
undress the mind
and the soul will follow
the body will never come close.

as surely as winter
loosens it's icy grip
with one last kiss
upon my throat,
i know spring
will soon return
to gently hold me
in her warm embrace
as the earth
calls me back home.

you once said
our first kiss
felt like two lost stars
hopelessly colliding,
consuming each other
faster than we
could ever comprehend.
how then
after such an impact
can we fade to nothing
but whispers in the dark
just as easily?

i always adored the story
of peter pan and his lost boys,
yet the ending made me ache.
it's in the moment
where he tells his darling wendy
that he'll love her forever,
in the place between sleep and awake.
i know now that i wait for you there
with my heart in my hands
beating out your name,
wondering if the whole thing
had been nothing more
than a day dream.