Pile of ashes
Numb.
Hopeless. Guilt-ridden.
How could a simple plan of revenge
go so wrong?
Why, instead of satisfaction, did I feel so
bitter, cold, and terrible?
Wandering for a year, stricken by the pain
I caused to the person I cared about the most.

Darkness.
Everything piled up, from a simple butterfly
to a mountain of snowballs.
One February evening, I had an epiphany.
All the pain, self-destruction, numbness
didn't I cause all that myself?
Instead of waiting, why didn't I light the spark myself?

And so it started.
From the ashes, a fire was born
taking flight and taking back
its former glory
A journey of self improvement,
like a sewing machine, stitching up my scars
and repairing the broken all around me.

Reborn.
I am a phoenix, knowing that
we need not ever be hopeless,
because even if you are reduced
to a pile of ashes,
as long as you can find that spark again,
you are invincible.

i fell for you in a different way
and it hurt like hell.
no matter what you say,
you'll only end up paining me as well.

the feeling of a shattering heart,
the sinking, gyro drop feeling
these emotions are tearing me apart
it feels like there's no healing.

the tears stream down like a waterfall
it was all for nothing, even when I gave it my all.
you're right, i shouldn't make the same mistakes twice
so I don't know why I thought you'd be different, you rolled the dice
and played me like a game,
so now i'll never be the same.

you were right, i was never replaced
because i only brought out your pain,
while she brings out your happy face.
so don't blame me when I break like a window pane.

you ended up proving exactly why i don't let anyone in,
maybe one day you'll realize your sin.
or perhaps the only error through it all was me,
so i'm sorry for all the pain i caused, just let me be.

isn't it funny how the people we care about the most
are the ones who end up breaking us the hardest.
and the painful memories, they linger like a ghost.
despite how i tried my best, everything fell into darkness.