I fell asleep to the music and memories of you
I got high off the remnants of your lingering perfume
Caught in my jacket that you wore

They say we're all destined for one other
Thought that was you
Guess I was wrong

Do you remember the place we first met?
I do
My darkest times
My weakest of moments

You took me in
Fixed me and my broken soul
Healed me from my shattered self

You showed me the good in life
Just as I had seen the bad
I only found it got worse

You gave and gave
But little did I know
You could take and take just as easily.

I made many mistakes in my time
But there is one I regret above all
Meeting you

Guess you'll find me at the same place we first met
My darkest times
My weakest moments
And my broken heart

Are there times when you feel alone?
Lost in the world with nowhere to go
As if you have been cut off
From any and all forms of communications
With the outside world

And then the feelings come
The feelings of dread
The feelings of no escape
As if you are stuck inside a submarine
Sinking to the bottom of the ocean
Watching the slow descent

And your heart
It pounds for freedom
It yearns to feel free again
Free from these shackles
That are ripping at its strings
And crushing it to oblivion

That pain
It's like no physical pain
There is no morphine for it
You can't drug it away
And it hurts
It really does hurt

Love; what truly is love?
Is it when you want to have them solely for their body?
Nay; for that is lust, not love.

True love; what can truly define it?
Is it how much money someone has?
Nay; for that is greed, not love.

True love is not found in material possessions.
Rather, true love is found from within the person
Beneath their skin
Beneath any emotional armor they put forth
Once you crack their armor, and they willingly choose let you in, that is love
When the two of you can speak kindly, gently, and without reserve, all out in the open with nothing to hide

Love is when there are boundaries that have already been set and bound and aren't broken
Love isn't when one of the two wields a blade of steel, a sword of words, or a dagger of ultimatums against the other
That isn't love; for that is betrayal

There are many sins I've committed in my time. I've exchanged hurtful words and I've lied. I've hurt others for my own betterment and I've stabbed others in the back. I thought it was fine and minimal to what others had done to me.

After all, how bad could I be when others had whipped me, threatened my life, beat me, broke my heart, and stabbed me in the back. Why did they deserve my mercy? Why did they deserve my forgiveness? Why did I have to be better than them?

They didn't deserve it. Why should I have to be a shining example? Why should I have to be above the rest? I didn't want that life, nor did I want that stress. Shining examples is what we're supposed to be, right?

Well, here's MY shining example. Don't keep pushing yourself for the approval of others. Their opinions don't matter anymore. Be yourself and stand up strong. You got a long road ahead of you, so find what makes you happy and do that. Don't ever try to change yourself for other's approval; That will just hurt you more.

And when they don't approve of you now that you've conformed to their standards? Then what? Are we just expected to move as if nothing's wrong and we're perfectly fine? And, what if we can't? We're not like a machine that functions without flaws; We're humans and have emotions and can be hurt.

We can still be hurt.

Exhaustion creeps in and the fog settles down.
It is time for sleep, but never rest.
The moment you close your eyes in peace.
That is the moment you get hurt by those you trust the most.

They say
The eyes
Are the window
To the soul

If that is true
Then I have seen
The darkest of souls
And the kindest of hearts
All in one person

And I fell in love with those eyes
Their graceful gaze
Gliding across the room
Soft blue, like apatite
Or a river running over the soft stones of the ground

They dragged me in
And I can't let them go
Every time I see them
I can be relaxed and comforted
And every time we lock eyes
I lose myself

In those eyes that I love

Blue and green
Brown and green
So many different combinations
Yet so little difference

She is still caring, loving, and protective
Why did I become so blessed as to be able to know her?
Why am I the one she trusts more than anyone?
Why was I the one to fall the hardest for her?

It was her eyes
Those eyes
Those ****** eyes
They are the eyes of a shattered lover,
trying to rebuild themselves.

I know because I have seen them
In the mirror