Hurt
without moving.
Poison
without touching.
Bear the
truth and the lies.
And are not to be judged
by their size.

This is not
Something more
Not sadness
No tears that could
Fill up or flood
This is just
Empty
Lacking
Where nothing is
Colour
Just numb
And
Existence.

I’m happy
(I’m depressed)

I love myself
(I hate myself)

I can’t wait to live my life
(I can’t wait to die)

I am lucky to have my friends
(why do they even like me?)

I have a family who loves me
(and I continue to disappoint them)

I am an excellent student
(I can’t focus in school)

I want to travel the world
(will I even live to do that?)

I’m fine
(I’m not fine)

I’m perfectly okay
(please help me)

Your legs will not carry you quickly enough.
Your voice will not shout loudly nor whisper quietly enough.
Your heart will not stop beating and let you be still
until it stops beating and you are still.

You will whisper quietly in a voice that booms and echoes:

"Enough."

When you’re breaking
You have this look in your eye
Of betrayal
Knowing life brought your hopes up
Just to drive you to the ground
And your heart broke into a thousand more pieces.

When you’re breaking
I can see it in your smile
That strong mask you go back to
When you can’t deal with
The weight of the world
on your shoulders.

When you’re breaking
Your mind goes back to default
Telling you you’re alone
And that you have to be alone
Because that’s how you were raised

When you’re breaking
I’m breaking too
I tell you you don’t have to
Go through it alone
I’d walk with you through hell

When you’re breaking
You don’t see how much people care
How much love is there for you
If you only opened your heart
And let me put your pieces back together

sometimes all i want
is an ending

for everything

to

just


                                    s  t  o  p.

and never start again

depression is cold.
the cold that you feel on your toes in the cold of the winter, slowly creeping up your feet and fingertips.
some people go inside, with warm hot chocolate waiting, to cure the stinging, slowly turning you're hands white.
some people are held back, in the snow, too caught up in the beauty of winter.
then a blizzard hits.

If ignorance is bliss
intelligence is agony.