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  Apr 2020 Kristina
Em
i never used to smoke
but since you left,
it’s the only time i can seem to breathe
  Apr 2020 Kristina
Sakhi
What is my skin for?
To cover up my thoughts so sore?
Thoughts that fuel me like gasoline,
As a candy does to a kid on Halloween

My thoughts are far beyond this world,
But suppressed by the hearts so cold,
People say dream big and shoot for stars!!
But for 18 years they tell us what to say bout isobars

Thoughts are never given freedom to be expressed,
All this world wants is people who can impress,
My thoughts if revealed would drown you all,
And hitting the ground you all will fall.

Why do my thoughts only haunt me at night?
Why do they always wanna stay out of sight?
Maybe because that's what we are being taught,
Bitter thoughts should never be caught.

Let me just scream my thoughts,
A day like this is all i sought,
So don't expect people to stay quiet all the time,
Because with that we are just not fine.

Let my thoughts burn your soul,
Leave a scar, one so gold,
Let me leave a mark on the world,
In this world, let me make a swirl!!
Kristina Apr 2020
You can't give words to others, if you've got none to yourself.

Words need time
Words need silence
Slow words bring truth.
Fast words often bring pain.
Take your time for your words.
Take your time for your actions.
Take your actions for your time.
Let your time grow.
Let your words grow in it.
Then you've got words for yourself.
Then you've got words for others.
Words filled with time.
Words filled with hope.
I somehow like the shape of this one
Kristina Apr 2020
I want
I want to need and be needed.
I want to forgive and be forgiven.
I want to understand and be understood.
I want to give and be given.

I want
I want to fight and be fought.
I want to criticize and be criticized.
I want to leave and be left.
I want to improve and be improved.

I want
I want to help and be helped.
I want to hold and be held.
I want to comfort and be comforted.
I want to find and be found.

I want
I want to see and be seen.
I want to cherish and be cherished.
I want to honor and be honored.
I want to trust and be trusted.

I
I want to love and be loved.

I want
I want to feel.
I want to cry.
I want to despair.
I want to hope.
I want to laugh.
I want to experience.
I want to try.
I want to learn.
I want to believe.

I want to feel every sense of life.

That's all I wish for.
A friend once asked me what I wish for in life. I wrote this as an answer.
Kristina Apr 2020
32
The day that I died
was a beautiful summer's day
A shade of happiness waftled through the air
Someone cried
Someone cried for me
Stop it
'Stop it', I wanted to say, but I had no voice
'I'm free'
'I'm happy', I wanted to say but she didn't hear me
I wasn't sad
I was happy it was over
He gave a speech
saying he knew me
saying I was important to him
saying he'll miss me
It made me sad
I heard someone mourning 'too early, too young, too short'
I didn't understand
I was long, too long
It was filled with loving and living
it was filled with bearing and enduring
it was filled with asking and answering
it was filled with suffering and laughing
It was beautiful
I was happy
I smiled and cried
the day that I died
Kristina Apr 2020
This is to you, who's never gone away
Risking your sanity to understand my crooked mind
Unraveling my thoughts I'm spreading out infront of you
Searching for my hope when I misplace it
This is to you
.

Indefatigably believing in me

Listening to the words I can barely phrase
Owner of my trust and deepest passion
Voive in my endless silence
Everything I could ever wish for

You're the one who's rescuing me
Over and over
Unlike anyone I've known before
.
To my best friend who I dearly love.
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