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Kristina Apr 2020
She's scratching.
Unresting and ruthless.
She's crackling and creaking.
Background.
She's sneaking up from behind and bares her teeth.
A horrible grin.

She's ripping my head wide open to grub her ugly nest.

She's
Dipping my eyes in fog.
Stuffing my ears with mud.
Filling my mouth with silence.

She's building her cursed nest.
She's cocooning herself in.

You can't see her.
Yet she's still there lurking.

She's waiting for the right moment.

Then
She will fill your eyes with tears
She will fill your mouth with lies.
She will fill your heart with pain.

She's waiting.
Kristina Apr 2020
I'm fighting against myself, falling into a deep dark hole I dug.

Yesterday I told myself I could do it.
Today I disprove it.


I'm crying for myself, trapped behind a wall of silence I built.

Yesterday I believed in love.
Today I leave.


I'm fleeing from myself, tripping over invisible strings I spun.

Yesterday I gathered hope.
Today I throw it away.
Kristina Apr 2020
You're the one who started it,
I'm the one who watched it end.

You're the one who made me laugh,
I'm the one who laughed for you.
You're the one who made me love,
I'm the one who loved for you.
You're the one who made me cry,
I'm the one who cried for you.

You're the one who walked away.
I'm the one who stayed.
This one's from three years ago, but I kinda still feel it.
Kristina Apr 2020
Every hit you gave me when I was a child
grew to hate as I got older.
Every lie you told me when I was trusting
grew to disgust as I got wiser.
Every bad word you threw at me,
every betrayal, every bit of spite,
I used it to build a wall between us.
A wall that keeps you out.
A wall that keeps me safe.

I would really like to throw it all back at you.
To hurt you with everything you hurt me with.
To crush you like you crushed me.

But then I wouldn't be any better,
then I would be you.
I'll never be you!

— The End —