All I want is a rewind to those times
When we talked for a long while
Seated under street lights
We were always together at nights

Staring at the moonlight
Our minds were filled with doubts
About what our future seems like

Then it went viral
That we were together
You asked how

I still don't know why

And it all sums up to now
Thinking of how we drifted apart
It was just too fast

But that was all in the past
All I wish for now is a rewind
So I can win back your heart

I really need a rewind ......

i am in a haze today. it is cloudy and beautiful outside. it is also pressing down on my chest and i struggle for air. i wore your shirt to bed last night and it helped steady my oxygen supply. i wish you were here to say my name and speak to me in my native tongue to remind who i am and where i've come from. i'm forgetting everything, slowly. recreating yourself is only good when you haven't done it five thousand times over. i just want to be me now. but how do i become me if there is no you? pick me up from the library and walk me to class. hold my hand and tell me that you will stay with me no matter how grey the sky is or how cold my fingers feel.

Should I just go.
Pack my bags & Prepare my cloths.
I’m in denial.
I know the truth but don’t accept it
I don’t want to admit
It’s the only thing , the bestest.
I’m going to be honest
I don’t want to leave this ...
Yes it’s hurting .
But I’m hurting both ways
Clean or Gone.

Shiny shards of slowly death
Rush,  cough,  and take a breath..
Its all they can to re inject
Another night on Tina's breast.

I watch them from afar, disgusted
My two best friends went homeless,
Got busted.

See,  I might do some coke or smoke ***** all day,
But i can't understand this game they all play.

Always crystal or ***** or ****** or yay,
One more way to make my fiery heart fade.

But i told them i wasn't going back to those days,
I'll stick with my greenery, downers and stay...

Alive.

To the tweaker who just ate lunch
On the side of a 55 mph highway
I'm not staring because I'm judging
I can judge without looking
I'm staring because I want to know
If my eyes can slow down your limbs
Like the arms of a fan
So I can see that you're still somebody's daughter
I'm staring because I understand
Never mind the gawking eyes of midday traffic
Never mind the glares of the gas station clerks
I understand
You're just having lunch
I understand
The bugs, the tics, the needs
You are not a stranger to me
You are who my sister used to be
You are what the father of my niece
Is trying not to be anymore
You are every shady character
Who ever knocked on my door asking questions
I do not know your name
But I know you
I know you were once somebody's daughter
And I hope you still are
I'm not here to pass judgment
Definitely not here to help
I know all to well there is nothing I can do
I just want you to know I know
And so does any body you're trying to hide it from
And they'll be waiting up for you
Whether you come home or not
Your mom hasn't had a full nights sleep
Since the last time she saw you
I hope for her sake
It was this morning
And I know you won't believe this
But grown woman and all
Your dad just wants to bounce you on his knee
But what I know most of all
Is that your little brother
Can't go two hours without crying
He's got ulcers again
And he misses you
You probably see him the most
But he hasn't seen you
Since you took your first hit
He misses your advice
He misses your hazing
And all he wants is a sober hug
And I'm sure this isn't what you wanted to hear
During your picnic
But it's everything I wish I could've told my sister
Even if she wouldn't have listened
I'm not staring to judge
I'm staring to care
And I don't presume to know what addiction is
But I do know how it feels
I just watched you barely cross the street
I can't imagine you making it
Wherever you're going tonight
So if you die
I hope there's **** in heaven
But if you by some miracle don't
I hope rock bottom's not to far down
And that one day you get clean
And start to make amends
So you can remember what it's like to dream
And if that day ever does come
Do me a favor
Sit on your father's lap
Sleep in your mother's bed
And hug your little brother
Because there's a girl he could use some help with
No matter what you've done
Or how much pain you've caused
Through the twitching
The nervous glances
The weight loss
You're still somebody's daughter
I know you
I understand you
Enjoy your lunch

My depression plays a game of red light green light.
I'm ok until I'm not.