this december there won’t be much
airwaves and frequencies
at most i’m afraid
but i won’t mind
this december i might not even exist
but i’ll be there either way
oh i think this december
i’ll let the chill
follow me home
so that come january
i’ll already be cold enough to
let you go
when you leave.

Am I just a wheel?
Consuming meals?
A speck in blue sea?
Bound by what I see?
Life amongst trees?
Breathing means free?

Am I my beliefs?
The truth I seek?
Flag of a country?
Defined by currency?
A liability?
Part of society?

Am I what you see?
The way you judge me?
The values you pick?
First impressions stick?
Norm defined by you?
Do I dare to be rude?

No...

I am who I choose.
I fill my own shoes.
I win when I lose.
I create my own views.
I see black beyond blue.
I pick me over you.

Who are we?
I am me.
Who are we?
Depends on you.

who took away your softness
and made you feel
the harshness of the ocean?

who took your tide away?

your lips tasted of salt once.
but the blue dye of your
ocean has begun to fade.

you were then,
so plump and mighty.
but today you lie flat
in the shallowest of
water.

tangled in the algae,
gathered by
your fingers.

if they leave you behind
if they dance under strobe lights
the same ones that they said
brought out your eyes
if they freeze these moments
and churn them into memories that
you’ll never be a part of
if they let you slip their mind
and if you’re still trying to remind them
if they leave you behind
it may be time to
leave them ahead

when a boy shows you his hands
bare except for the dust
he’s begging you to look past
take them in yours.
squeeze them once.
twice.
say without speaking
that you understand that the valleys
in his palms were meant to cradle
shooting star wishes
that he’s allowed to still hope for.
when a boy shows you his eyes
of milk and crimson and melanin
a bloodshot vein for every night he can’t sleep
let him shut his eyelids.
say without speaking
that you understand that the black hole pinpricks
of his irises hold more than the universe
should allow.
when a boy shows you his soul
shivering but still working toward friction
iced over but still working toward melting
let him come to rest next to yours.
say without speaking
that you understand that he is lonely
and that his silence speaks volumes
and that you kept his treasure close
because you love him.
when a boy shows you his hands
show him your hands.
when a boy shows you his eyes
show him your eyes.
when a boy shows you his soul
show him that
this is a comfortable place to rest it.
when a boy shows you the hardness that shaped him
show him the softness
that you have in store.

Take all that is left inside
Make a place to control the design
It only hurts when you want it to
Keep the answers in the walls and hide
Its sensible and lost its taste
Contracting labors and more burdens
While humming sounds of broken tapes
It was so simple then
Casual and cool with all our friends
It was so easy then
Twist our way through all the insinuations
As locked doors hide the tears
Lose the questions of flaccid danger
Take a chance on humble aspirations
Provoking thoughtful comical gimmicks
As this darkness finds peace in the remains
Finding a place to question martyrs
Send away the places all the secrets stay
It was so simple then
Casual and cool with all our friends
It was so easy then
Taking all that we can give
And all the lies make up for every sin
Hollowed hallways hold the sounds
Let the anger shake the doubt
It was so simple then
Casual and cool with all our friends
But it wasn’t easy then
Masking all the words we never said