She sits in the stands
Up in the nosebleed section
Cheering wildly, admiring her boys
In red and white
While he is under her hood
With soot-covered hands
Making sense of and fixing
Her mechanical mess.

Later on, she makes his favorite meal
To show him how much she loves him
But he shows up with takeout
And complains about how long it took
Just to replace the starter
In her red Corolla.

There's a difference between
Admiration
And love.

If you want to go fast, go alone.
If you want to go far, go together.

-African Proverb*

I can't visualize what life would be like
Without you.
I will never awaken to such an aimless love
Without you.
I will never show the buttercup's glow
Without you.

I cannot love
Without you,
But I will never love you.

Before she goes to sleep at night
She puts a noose around her neck
To give herself a reason to stop
Tossing and turning and thinking
About the last time she
Was safe in her own skin.

Instead of tucking herself in
Under blanket and quilt
She tucks a knife into her chest
To remind herself of her guilt
And her shame and the pain
She faces at the dawn
Of each new day.

She threw her pillow in the trash
Because comfort wasn't something
She thought belonged in her life.
Now she rests her head
On a loaded Sig .40
And finds solace in the touch
Of cold steel against her cheek.

She always said she couldn't sleep
And now *she can't stop.

I'm reaching for stars
With my head in the sand
And I'm swimming in currents
While I'm standing on land
If you're hearing this now
And you think I'm confused
Then it's pretty apparent
You've never been used

Tracing lines on the pavement
Of this bustling town
And he only sound that I hear
Is my soul screaming out
Now I'm stuck here in a place
Where no one else cares
So I'm launching my rocket
And blowing up in mid-air

You say you're a dreamer
At least that's what I heard
From the haze in your eyes
That's as good as your word
Please wake up, my dear
Don't be playing with knives
If you call yourself a dreamer
You'll be sleeping all your life

Tear the flesh from my bones
Til my soul is alone
And my body's a lake
Fed from red-running holes.

You are stagnant and cold
Like the moss on a stone
And a cesspool for sinners
Who you let come and go.

I'm convinced my generation is nothing but a bunch of sheep...where are our future leaders? I don't want to keep living in a world where we are expected to go with the flow, to never stand out, and to adopt the same opinions as the masses or else be labeled a racist, a bigot, deplorable, or any other name in the book.

Another disheartening fact: my future children are going to be taught and influenced by educators who think safe spaces are good ideas, who think social justice warriors, celebrities, and clueless athletes fit the mold of a hero more than the disabled vets at the VA, and who find ridiculing people for their race, gender, ****** orientation, etc appalling, but having a religion and/or different political beliefs than them are grounds to be mocked...

God forbid someone says they don't buy into big pharma and their vaccines..."anti-vaxxers are the **** of the earth! All children need to be vaccinated!" But speak out against abortion, which kills more children than any disease we have vaccines for or not..."you're anti-women! How dare you tell a woman what she can do with her body! How archaic of you!"...save the children or **** them? Which one is it? Will the hypocrisy from my generation ever end?

I just threw out basic examples, but if you look at social media for 5 minutes and possess a brain I'm sure you'll see other instances of people with differing opinions being belittled by a group my peers. Another portion of them will blindly follow and agree without a leg to stand on. And an even smaller portion will actually stand up against the hate speech they themselves claim to despise.

Agree or disagree, this rant has been brought to you by a man who thinks for himself and doesn't really give a rat's *** if you agree or not.

We will never forget...

The last day dawns on my life
And I don't know it
As I wake up to golden rays
Of sun knocking on my eyelids.

I kissed my wife good morning,
Got up out of bed
And tucked her in again.
Naomi spent 10 hours last night
Delivering a new mother's firstborn.
I didn't tell her good morning
And I wish I told her I loved her
But I didn't want to wake her.

I sipped my coffee on the way to work
As if it were any other day,
My only worry was if I had spilled any
On the new pink and white
Polka-dot tie my daughter Elise
Had bought me for my birthday
Last weekend
Or the new Bostonian shoes
My wife gave me
With the card that read,
We love you from top to bottom!

I walked into the conference room
And checked my watch:
8:36.
I was 9 minutes early
To the most exciting moment
Of my career:
My first pitch as project manager
For the new country club going up
East of the city in Glenwood Landing.

I was 10 minutes early
To the most helpless moment
Of my life.

At 8:45 I said good morning
To many fine ladies and gentlemen...
Bankers, lawyers, city representatives,
A union boss, some secretaries,
And a stenographer in the back.

The same words I would never again say to my wife and child...

And immediately I was thrown
Through the air
And knocked against the righthand wall
Of the room.
I was utterly confused
And my face burned
From the coffee I had been holding
That now stained
My beautiful polka-dot tie.

It would be nothing compared to the heat I would soon face.

Outside our 111th-story window
Rose an obsidian plume of smoke.
We all knew something terrible
Had happened just a few floors below.

The fine ladies and gentlemen
Of a moment ago
Quickly turned into uncivilized beasts
As the lights went out
And the piercing scream of the fire alarm
Shouted louder than the new mother
Experiencing the pain
Of her first childbirth.

Smoke very quickly came from below
And filled the floor with the foulest odor
I had ever smelled:
Burning rubber, sulfur,
And burnt hair.
Others in the room sealed the door shut
With expensive overcoats and undershirts
From Armani and Burberry.

They tried the phone countless times
But the line was dead.
I looked down at my watch
As a bead of sweat fell from my brow
And landed on my new tie:
9:11.

Today's date.

The fire alarm got tired of yelling
And the room was filled with an
Uncomfortable rumbling sound...

Flames...

...and the hysterical wails of the
Fine ladies and gentlemen in the room.
Some prayed, some wept together,
Others wept alone.
The one thing we all had in common
Was the persistent coughing
From the obsidian smoke
Slicing our lungs.

I looked down at my watch:
9:23.
The heat was now almost unbearable.
We huddled around the window
Jack or John or Jim smashed
With the powerful throw
Of a mini-refigerator.

When I gazed out the window
At the same sun that kissed my eyelids
This morning,
I was calm.
I thought of Naomi, who was
Surely watching on television
As her family called her to make sure
Her and I and Elise were alright.

Daddy's alright, baby girl.

I'm alright, Naoms.

9:31...
Gary or Greg was the first to jump.

I'll make it home to you, angels.

9:32...
Sophia or Cynthia was next.

Please, God, get me out of here...

9:33...
Jack or John or Jim
And Patty or Peggy
Were each other's last hug
As they fell
Like two stars from heaven.

9:35...
I couldn't see
And I couldn't breathe.
The sunlight was the last thing to kiss me.

Before I jumped
I felt my girls.
I touched the tie on my neck
And the shoes on my feet.

I love you both

From top to bottom.