melodies flowed through the air but were only heard by the select few willing to decipher

do you remember that tune I hummed life times ago across the pond's still waters as we tilted our hats to the sway of the suns waves.

you wore a denim, deep blue dyed,

- deeper than the stare you first gave me into my glacier blue eyes -

hat,                                                          ­                as i tilted mine to your
                                                                ­shoulder opening
                                                                ­            a landing pad for my
                                                                ­    petunia welding sun
                                                             ­                   hat.

we glared across the bullseye pond meadow  

tenacious a moment i could not let go

ten ages since that moment and i did not let go

do you remember the song i hummed all those lifetimes ago

well you hum it every night so,

                                            
               ­                             i know you know

your eyes burn
holes in me
i'm not willing to mend them
but i will fight back and love
you with a fire just as deep

my sour stomach
my sweetheart

my nurturing heartache
and my revolting larvae wardrobed butterflies
lifeline impart

spiderweb lungs and a heartbeat which ticks
ticks
tricks

i skipped a beat for you
and i skipped every last one after you left

you left me free
because my past died when you perplexed

with a million to choose from
my sweetheart i'd always select

i came onto this site because of you
and now i've been cut off from the entirety of you
you have left my sight entirely
you and narcotics reoccur in my thoughts daily....funny no one mentioned girls would give me withdrawal symptoms
i tormented you with a guilt trip, but i am guilty of tripping on my own set backs as a constant reminder of that which i don't want to be reminded
your land, exploring with you i have newly marked it

you are so beautiful...yet you deny it...it's like denying gravity...we all know it's there.
the colourblind person may not be able to see red, but i stare at this apple for evidence.
your eyes sparkle like the glimmer of a snowflake
diamonds don't refract as much light as your eyes
alluring (hot) like a burst of magma spewed out of a volcano
you are calm and listen...listen to me...you listen.

σχίζω (greek) must ****..i'm trying to understand, but i can't walk a mile in your shoes because i only wear flip flops/
who would walk a mile in platforms...the stage is yours.

your mouth looks real good wrapped around my *****

caring *****
i don't care about your ****** opinions
throw them in the trash can with the crumpled paper ***** and the tarnished banana peel
waste disposal
go get it

cap pulled off this one also roams around my head
skull bare brains
dreams of a neurologist shattered
the root of my knowledge castrated i'm better off
as fortified as a stable fine thread
paint these walls a shimmering laminate of crimson
the crime on me an ode to a death wish
but yet wished upon by others
from james and taylor and christie with love
so pull that cap slowly to my head
'fitted' one size fits all
what a beautiful sight as that flash seduces me
50 shades of grey matter

i sit in my demise
dim eyes
shadows lurking
delusions swirling in this typhoon
pull me under but i can't go lower
the bottom is just the beginning
i'm already dead inside

oh baby
ya maybe
hide me away under your swade blanket -- shady
cut me out just like my first lady
divorce witchery of all sorts
sign the papers
mmmm taste the video tapers
staplers

sculpt you in the palm of my hand
chisel your most fragile features until i feel your raw
coarse frame
let your hair dangle until is grazes my ever so nourishing skin
that aroma...ahh the aroma of fresh cappuccino hinted with
a vanilla scent
you look gorgeous in that mahogany tinted outfit...fits you splendidly
(splenda)
your heating up . skin must not like the material.
remember when you said you lost my favorite pair of jeans at the dry cleaners?

anyways
my scolding coffee looks better on you than still in my cup.

*****
***** x2
***** x3
******

i slither down you gorge guided crevice
the walls ache
stalactites clash into still river trickled streams
sunken treasures deep in your bay
gold for generations to ***

what it is like to pick a flower
a nourishing azalea exotically scouted in the temperate air
allow your pollen to drip over me because
honey you drive me mad

what is it like to whisper you nonchalant name
allow my vowels to amble their way into your RSVP'd
listeners lounge
aromas fill the air
your name is my lyrical content
to sing and leave you content
your voice heard through every continent
you're always the most indulged content
avec toi, je suis contente

what is it like to pick a flower
and give you a smile
as this temperate azalea is spotlighted under you

pinch me
squeeze my cheeks
notify me that i'm not dreaming
dig your nails deep into my knitted textured pores
pour my arterial creations into your donation cup
this charity is based off a blood drive
and your driving my blood all the way down
a waterfall
with jagged rocks awaiting a chance to repaint and give my face
a makeover

but this makeover will make me want to turn over forever....away from everyone

now that's how you get some peace of mind

Plain and simple

I wish she was plain and simple , the opposite of what many seek in life
I would like to see her run through planes and her dimples when she smiles
Recently I do not see her smile
Recently I do not see her dimples
Recently I do not see her

As people, only we can help ourselves, and I must help myself move on before I move in
I must help myself glorify life and celebrate it before I am consumed by a memory of what was
Before I am engulfed by the fire which I ignited
Before I am devoured by the tigers which I had raised

In time She will help herself as well, all I can do is wait. Time will lift this weight.

a tree planted deep in its roots
could not blossom or spur
but flourish
for the caretaker always watered and the sun
the sun always shined
look up and check, if you become blind
you know it's true
but who watched the care taker
....
just the stalker across the street
peering through the windows with binoculars
jotting down the actions and deeds committed
she just put her attention upon trying to formulate
what it meant to be a good person
what it meant to care
what it meant to be a caretaker

for when the caretaker was no longer able to nurture
the naturalist could fill the caretaker's shoes

why am i filled with so much anger?
why am i wasting away my life
**** everyone
bend them over and make em feel like i do
i call it tough love
alcohol never solved anything except someone's temporary stall

light dispersion
through a carved glass prism
array of colours emerging a from a single beam
diffraction
a fraction of me dies
a faction of me dyes
that's why my hair now has highlights

now i can write when no emotion holds me hostage
when straying eyes were meant to know and observe
when poetry was meant to be judged and reflected

now i can write

i prefer to wear a cloak and compose rather than
have a spotlight shined upon to eminate my bubbbly perfections waiting to pop any second and soap all over the crowd
cleaning up their act

now i can be free

go ahead this platform was not meant for your approval
it was meant for my sanity and expression
a firework ready to burst strontium and copper compounds igniting the sky
you red this and it blue you away
i am gun powder ready to ignite
aluminum dust and graphite
let your eyes be the concepts which admire the show with awe regardles of the colours you admire
a specatacle of all sky lit maps
railway maps burst into the night time
let your eyes view

but your eyes will never
never
never be
the dampening act upon which my fuse is dimmed and struggling to ignite

it's been a while
i feel like the mildly growing mold over grout between the old ceramic tiles
Slowly
sLowly
slOwly
sloWly
slowLy
slowlY
slowly all the molecules compile forming molecular sieves
established in a matrix as complex as keanu reeves
the grief, placed by the thief, who longed relief, while he took all his treasures from that broken down coffee shop and placed them by the reef,
what they didn't know was in the basement lied a fortune that was a generations worth of priceless treasures
and i sat and watched from the shore line
no reports
no incident claims
no shedded spotlights
i merely out grew the incident from my memory,
as mold out grew grout between a forgotten coffee shops fermenting ceramic tiles

blood trickles down my forearm as fresh rivers of water rush through cracks formed by earth's shifted tectonic plates

i scream for your name, i scream in vein

eye's strained veins obsessive as a jellyfish tentacles grasping my iris tied down as captured safari animals net retained dragged away form their children

i search for your image, eyes search for your image

as a ghost french exhales souls of names once spoken and wafts the syllables which define your name

i grasp your conscious self in my arms, i lose your conscious self through wielding armed arms

the days I long to hold you my dear
to hold you
in my arms only nurtured
by your

ruby red
r                    .
a                 .
   i               .
     n       C>
drops

saffron frontier of bewildering junipers
aquamarine formed leave me breathless and scorned
rip up my heart tie is down to a steel slate
and watch it delaminate
peel piece by layer
ungluing spindle stuck fibers tear
hesitate
sweetheart's credit expiry date
intiate your soft precious acid lounge lips
perspicacious lad when you sway your hips
hips that make me trip upon your sunkisssed garden
you blue my mind like saffron
im ***** as a juniper
you are my love and my moon
and i long for Uranus.

today i feel like putting a gun to my temple
colt .45 ravaged my cranium only so i don't have to go to temple
no more sins i need to have confessed
polished sleek glock; my prayer ejected through the chamber
PULL THE TRIGGER -- FUCKN PULL IT MAN!!
hold on, the last time i come to terms with contraband
am i filled with love,  joy, despair or anger?
all i need is my reverend spirit to unclothe its self
i no longer succumb to the falsity of needing to have impressed


cut the gesture man
you just be playing chicken
but when i quit playing
you'll hear me squawk
one shot you'll know i've been stricken
farmer Joe tell him this is his last wake-up call
and that bright light in the mornin bruh
we all know sunrises don't last for a split second  


POP! muuu fckkkaaa

sometimes i just want the **** kicked out of me
i want my arm twisted and pushed as i yell PLEASE STOOPP
i want to hear the crackling of my bones are slowly converted to a sudden percussive snap
i want to hear the tearing of my muscle fibers and see it like ripping apart fine strings of yarn
i want you to kick me until internal bleeding seems like an everyday thing....kinda like saying hi to your neighbor
i want my organs rearranged, my liver can be in the region of my brain and my brain can be used to play keep ups with my foot (like soccer)
i want you to take my face and pulverize it against concrete/brick until its fine bone and then it's just the friction between hard calcium and limestone
and when i plead for MERCYYY PLEEASE i want you to call an accomplice and use their hands to torment me as well
light me with kerosene and matches and watch me burn and my skin blister.....and then i want you to put me out just to give me hope....and then reignite the initial flame
i want you kick me in the ***** so hard they invert into ovaries.
i just want to find peace.
but i don't want you to **** me....i just want to be taught a lesson for my outrageous, provocative actions.
maybe then i will be humble
maybe then i will be pure.

if i die at least all my impurities will die with me or will they live on in the actions of others.
can we ever be pure?

scar my heart so i will know every wound
that i could never mend

scar my soul so i could recall life's every downfall and crevice

scar my face and you ****** up

why did god make schizophrenics so ******* beautiful
maybe i'm the schizophrenic
seeing love that wasn't there in the first place

the question is not how much poetry i can write about you?

the question is how much poetry may i write about you!

because i can write scriptures to fill libraries until shelves are stacked upon shelves

i don't need help
i need greed
to keep myself sustained at peace, balanced on this tight rope
(someone's neck is balanced by this tight rope)
i don't need to fall into my warm foam like cushion
just let the confetti glitter and sparkle, spritz out
let me look in awe
awesome
awful
off in disbelief

she smiles a bit of me dies inside
she laughs
she cries
a bit of me still cries inside

tears don't shed
so i get tattoos of them on my face
from my eyelids where the water once bled
these inked drops now take their place

i hear to **** is bad
to detain
and disembowel
is a tad worse

for my mind is my greatest gift but it may
also be my most frantic curse.

put my head on the pillow let me defrost my day's load into the form of dreams
i can perish to lengths unknown
where 30 cm rulers go up to 30 miles
let me slumber through melatonin infused days
where a mental collapse is inevitable
eyes shut
breath *******
mind eased
imagination wild
a stretch where oceans are just lakes in this unknown galapagos
birds glaze the tropical air with journeys declared by delayed shutter speed
they are an endless array of shooting stars

--

i still remember my last dream of you
a scarf and an unknown conclusion
i thought you jumped but we all know angels fly

soak up that summer sun
drenched by the H2O
soak up the winter breeze
drenched by the slush from trees
soak up the fall colour
changed by the inspiring scholar
soak up that summer sun
spring into action and all.

honey...you're as stable as....

a cube of ice on a bridge of salt
a water balloon on a bed of nails
a painter's hand during an earthquake
an OCD patient in a room full of crooked paintings
(is there anything wrong if they're all crooked)??
a brick of potassium in the presence of air
a ****** coming off their last hit
the stock market in 15 years

honey...you're not stable...but i can be a support.

Tie me up and keep me infused to the chair as vines blueprint walls.
Dangle your threads in front of me and lash me with whips which cut the air like knives....i never minded paying a few tolls.
Laugh hysterically so we can share this sense of humor because we all know karma haunts.
When these ropes which restrain me are cut by the intensity of your lashes i'll be the last one who taunts.

days come when my eyesight simmers and i go all googly
eyed upon your presence
- dropped jaw left a mark in that concrete -

your presence is your greatest present

as the sun dismounts its self from the sky
Just as an ornament debranches from the tree upon boxing day

you are mi corazon
the fusion reactions which support the sun
the uv rays which nurture plants
the roses i pick for you upon the brightest moon
the sweet summer dance i shared upon you in the month of june

you are the most fond melody
only justice woulb be brought when played by a symphony


you are my heat waves and i am your
cool summer drink
lemonade
get on your knees
like lemons fall from lemon trees
like bass notes drop on a timpani
i'm about to lemonade in your mouth babe

hahahah

i have nothing left to write
some feelings are better left in than constantly expressed
especially when our ****** gesture is expressionless
my pencil is broken and i'm not chopping down trees for any more
hoorah

Ever feel your stomach churn and realize
Crocodiles eat my insides
Devour my organs tooth,  ink jetted pen stabbed in a notebook scarred, by tooth
I shake too much to drive , I change lanes all the time without a signal because I never got one from you
Pavement feels like I'm off terrain  
The afterlife is now just something I call life ,
At least here no one lies but buried beneath we all lie

Did you ever care or would you just yell at my departure that great **** of a man didn't even have the manners to say bye.

circles my brain all day
it is the planets to my solar system's sun
every statement ends with a question mark
I JUST LOVED PLAYING SOCCER?
talking in voices
which others categorize as filtered out noises
left me to be shunned in the corner
yet i sit in the middle of the room
moronically genius ideas i have
yet my stupidity helps me laugh at all my flaws
except the flaw of being stupid

happy :o

dear love from florida where your sun's rays shine like a beacon

mist me with your endearing smile to whom i eyes i peak in

a gentle dove for you may spread your wings

a melody to enchant you i may always sing

wings upon i fly
to you
with your warmth i will always try
both sides congruently true

emphasis on this cyst growing in my head
dear sister can you help me help my self
who knew oxygen and essential fluids could give death to life
my system is no longer apparent
this systolic pressure is compressing my heart to a cranberry
cranium buried
help me relive life to it's potential
i'll help my self
personal assistance is a myth... i communicate in fables

how they say you are the brightest part of my day \

but it is you who i cannot look at long enough to confirm that fact.

   fudge is the sweetest dish of a lifetime

but after all the chewing i cannot preserve my teeth to further taste you

   drums the one that brings the most groove

but i am crippled and i sway in chair ,,moving with my wheels

   the most important files known to man

but my life is on the line and i am no man who would want to know them

                                    tantalizing sun
my sun glasses tantalize you back

to pour some 'erb diffusive tea
let it mellow in my cup
let the leaf take whole
where it leaves a hole
for this cup of sorrow is best enjoyed alone
with no company
just a settlement between
me
myself
and
chai

i smoke ****.
from time to time it takes off the stress
the stress of trying
the stress of waiting
the stress of expecting
but at times my head seems to compress,
like the media around a corrupt member of congress
like the callused grip of a bodybuilder on an etched dumbbell
like scrap metal in the claws of a machine
like the walls slowly closing in on the random superhero
blood pressure builds as my veins throb
my sanity robbed
my thoughts lobbed
but new thoughts replace the others
like THC with the pride a child once gave his mother

I have entered a new reality
evolved in spirituality
although i have left behind compatibility of being
i have new ways of seeing
a visionary
this vision is airy
i am fatigued i am fatigued
time to hit another bowl
time to let anxiety harness my soul
let anxiety cloak me but i shall not let it devour me whole

spontaneous thoughts and entropic actions
but when i rely on my sole self is when i reach true satisfaction.
with the high i lose all traction
with sobriety i gain much love and attraction
but sometimes it's nice to go off the road into unknown terrain
because unknown terrain may be a new road to discover on its own

I like sobriety and being high
i highly enjoy being sober
being high is ludicrous
but then again i'd be a fool to say i wasn't crazy

rip all my hairs out hoping they access a brain cell to help me wipe my memory like a shaun white, snow tidal wipeout

strand by strand hoping to find a destresser to pull the plug of my brain's photobooks

you catalyze my grief and a cobweb nostalgia
silk an admired commodity yet **** out by a creature who has it handed to it at aggregated birth

stuck in this mess
but i have my fist clenched around a web which is as adhesive as a 48 hour hardened glue

glued to you but i'm acetone fused and it's only a serum's distance to an isle of distant cries , haunting melodies of  f# major vocal hymns and

a sand filled paradise where wild life flies and quick sand awaits to offer a gorgeous, satin, embodiment of warmth.

yours deceivingly..

that good old horrendous feeling

To the girl who was beautiful and borrowed my soul
I think about you every day
You are an illusion to me, a mirage in the distance
I wish to be a father, have a son, but you are the holy spirit
A serious glare, followed by a subtle stare, moving my lips if i only dared
You awaken kingdoms and bring forth wars
Troy would take 15 arrows to the ankle for you
Eyes as captivating as a black hole luring light
You are the light in my day, you make me smile
But as I no longer see you, my torch's embers dim to ashes

you pull me in so deep
until i don't want to find a way out

you say make myself at home
and then i start redecorating all the walls

you are a magnet with a north pole
but i remagnetize both my poles to only be south

you welcome me with open arms
until i recognize that as the only form of greeting

you say my clothes are yours
and i reinvent your whole fashion line

you say what's mine is yours
and i write my name on everything to commemorate

your eyes are the ones i stare into
until they are the only ones i still recognize

and when you say LEAVE
i say you are the one in

MY
house

touch me just enough to awaken a tingling sensation
brush your soft fingers yet long polished nails along the canvas of my body
a shade of sapphire blue
- gems on all fingers yet you bear no rings -
paint me an image that is invisible yet imprinted through frail motions
paint me an image that the blind can see, the mute can reiterate and the deaf can transcribe
we speak braille reading off each others pages
"love, misguidance, illiterate"
you are a book and i am awaiting to place my bookmark deep along the spine of your paperback.

you are the LEDs on my christmas tree
the candles on my menorah
during diwali the flame on my divaa
the flashlight for the lone camper's midnight stroll
the headbeam for the train pursuing it's iron railed tunnel

you are the sun for the albino person
you are the laser to an innocently peaking child
the 1,000,000 lumens to dracula
the grenade to the amputated war veteran

you are the reason for my pupils to dilate

you make me wish my iris never stopped constricting

help me understand
sit me on that chair and pierce my ******* with your metallic stinging clamps
bite down until my holes are seen
rip them off blood and an under layer of my bleeding red muscles
hooks pierce my eye lids sideways
scars growing as land splits into two
skull cracked and etched
beat me with your baseball bat home run

sit back
pull out my pack of 24 lung burners
light it up, enough chemicals to outdo the periodic table 50 times
the amount of cells i've killed are life crimes
leather jacket /pierced
got tattoos until i feel the ink drip down my sleeve
leave a puddle of resin, blue aquatic disbelieve
take a stride flick it all into the ashes
post dramatic stress disorder
overplayed every departure from separate classes

honk honk

NICE ****
looks like i know where i'm going to **** all over next ...

that's right

right in your *******

hahahah  never saw that one cuming