She gets lost within the depths of her thoughts and mind ? Always asking herself questions. Why has life and people been so unkind. How can they not understand she is not the same woman from even just a year ago or from 3 years ago . Her life took a road that changed her from the inside out and her life that she thought she once knew. Now she stands everyday looking at a woman she does not know with scars she did not inflict and those she did; all because she wanted to be beautiful and thought if only. They tell her she looks fine but how can they understand that she longs to be unseen. The battle that exists within her own blood and bones is never ending. Her own voice and heart tell her to surrender or run but the outcome will remain the same and as will her fate be unchanged . She holds onto hope that gives her a reason to want to believe that her existence was not just a waste. She bows her head droplets of tears are the only sound heard upon the floor , lifting her head she again looks into
Her eyes, filled with so much hollow darkness how can anyone see beyond and Into her soul. She awakes everyday not knowing; is today the day? Going through the motions , trying hard with her facade , when asked she says she is okay. Yes they have been fooled, another scar appears if only she can change herself with each new one then maybe just maybe she would not despise herself so. Can't you see she has grown tired of this journey and wants to leave and go to a sanctuary where if all this confusion would disappear maybe she would fall asleep and finally awake, feeling the weight lifted with each step; as you watch from a distance ; She slowly vanishes.
© 2015 cherry rose

If you do not walk upon this rocky road. Instead you roll your eyes and walk away not even trying to open your heart and see what is inside her, And the battle going on inside not only her mind but her body and heart.

some connections can't be adequately explained
freezing wind and gilded ceilings, mousy brown roots
on bubblegum hair
keeping a scarf in place is too hard, and staying inside is too easy
(the bottom has cobblestones)
why is there is only such thing as effortless
when the air is cold enough to burn?
(the best veins are beneath the lids of my eyes)
if footsteps don't echo there's neither point nor interest
menthol, sorbitol, glycerin, xanthan
I exhale mint when I breathe in the world.

Every time we speak
I feel like things are looking up,
no matter what we speak of,
a residual glow is left behind, pineapple cake and birthday wishes; perhaps
we can move to new york after all.
Perhaps this will not be forever.
Drawing lessons and 1 am photos
are what is keeping me alive right now,
a protective world to shield me from the sandpaper reality
And I hope to god that when I call you at midnight
you feel the same.

Throat is closing
stomach churning
lips wet
mind is burning
shaky hands
scratch your nose
distract yourself
adjust your clothes
knee ****
small sigh
eye twitch
tongue tie
swallow hard
calming sound
taking over
downward drown

I am the kind that will listen to you, no matter what
If ur upset and need to lighten up, I will throw veggies at you, or tell you the dirtiest joke I know (some of which should not be said on here)
I will look like an absolute fool(even though that's what I do any way) to make you seem sane and cool in front of someone you like
I stick up for my friends, and I stay by their side, through thick and thin.