Some days you feel you just cant and don't want to go on, The games have gotten old, tears streaming down my face I can tell you which each tear drop means and what lays within it for my heart is breaking from each one. How I wish I had already finished this journey, Lathargic, I sit here staring at the walls not wanting to think, yet longing to numb my every tear that steals a heartbeat; a breath at a time. Why must I be made to feel helpless to block your choice on the wrong road, While you think your only best friend is lifting that stench of liquor to your lips , with each sip you are killing your spirit while mine silently weeps. Robbing my heartbeats as you forget the lies and forget to whom it was told . If truth were spoken from the start no lie would have to be remembered. Draining my will with not just the tears but the games played with my heart and mind. How I long to believe, but the truth reveals each and every lie. Breaking my spirit where escape is the only place I want to be. You think your actions only hurt you . . . But they destroy this spirit ,so lift that bottle to your lying lips, tell those stories to cover your addiction. But please leave me in this place where I can no longer feel , leave me to cry these tears filled with nothing but lies .
© cherry rose 2015
Any Addiction affects those lives you are a part of. Do I walk away . I have watched the destruction left behind because I am part of what was left behind. Yet a mother's love is one that never stops. But my son's addiction is killing me inside silently, as I listen to lie after lie. Those few times he is sober I see the son I once knew. How I wish I could have that one back in my life. But he has chosen his road. Every now and then when he sobers up I try but unless he chooses to do it for himself, he returns to that what I call a nightmare for me and confusion for him.