I let another day slip by
do I really have a reason?
was it Too tough to try?
...
I haven’t had a good dream in years
but I’m well-passed mourning
and I’m Too tough for tears.
...
But yet I’m still here
I’m still here and breathing.
Don’t need dreams
and I don’t need meaning.
Don’t need anything,
despite this feeling
of change;

I do want meaning
and I do want purpose
but it doesn’t change the fact-
that I’m so ******* nervous,
for the future, I’m fearful
the past, I’m forgetful
presently I’m panicking
the situation’s stressful

I'm not asking to be successful...

I just want to be happy.

I sit and sulk a seeping sorrow
spreading through the scorching sand
as silence slowly fills the land.

and deep beneath;
a squalid tomb
a dark and smoky little room
it’s there I sulk
and there I brood
It’s where I’ll likely meet my doom

I am waiting to die
as I sit here staring,
blind, and uncaring
I am waiting to die.

For I once had dreamed
of a world where it seemed
that someone like me had a future;
I don’t

Though not for my failings
but simply for boredom-
as my mind is ailing
I pray for post-mortem.

I never natter openly
about the things I might not see
but in my head, so quietly
Their forms begin to madden me