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Nov 2022 · 2.1k
Belonging
SiouxF Nov 2022
We all long to belong,
To find our community,
Our family,
Our place of safety and refuge.
But feeling different to other people,
An outsider,
Of no fixed abode,
I’m not sure where I belong,
Or who my tribe is.
I feel confused,
Discombobulated,
Wayward feelings and erroneous thoughts
Running around inside my head,
Misleading me down the garden path,
Tripping me up,
Leading me down holes
That are too deep to climb back out of
Nov 2022 · 745
Destiny
SiouxF Nov 2022
As I listen to the sound of the raging sea
relentlessly pounding on the merciful shingle,
Watching the crest’s lip glisten
under the glow of the full moon,
The flashlight from a solitary walker and his dog illuminating
majestic waves climaxing 12 foot high against the sea wall,
Seismic spray scattering far and wide,
I am reminded
Of the power and force of nature
Which will overcome us all
One day
Nov 2022 · 506
Fire Fire Burning Bright
SiouxF Nov 2022
Fire fire burning bright,
Your power and dominion respected,
As you imbibe our offerings of poetry, rhyme,
And ancient storytelling of free men.
Conspiratorial keeper of our secrets,
Mastered by none,
Your red embers and golden flames
Nurture and cajole us
To share our
Deepest
Darkest
Thoughts
And
Desires.
Jul 2022 · 1.3k
Sins Laid Bare
SiouxF Jul 2022
I wonder if I suppress my positivity
And subdue my better nature,
For it is my penance,
My cross to bear,
My guilt exposed,
For sins laid bare
SiouxF Jul 2022
They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks,
I’m beginning to agree,
Entrenched in my negative thoughts
And destructive patterns of behaviour,
I seem unable to change...
Jul 2022 · 130
Why?
SiouxF Jul 2022
Rather than grabbing the proffered hand of help
To climb out of the deep dark hole
I have dug for myself,
Why oh why
Am I so determined
To drag him in with me instead?
Jul 2022 · 1.1k
Guilt
SiouxF Jul 2022
It doesn’t matter how many times people say you did your best,
They never truly know the truth of the situation.
Only you know just how much you weren’t there for mum
In her hours of need.

Dementia is a cruel fate,
And even crueler when living with a narcissist
Who deliberately causes a rift in the family.
Does the guilt ever go away
For those left behind?
SiouxF Jul 2022
I miss
The tenderness
The soft tone
The passing touch
The squeeze of an arm
The gentle caress
The post-****** hug
The explanation of how things are

Now it feels
Remote
Distant
Disconnected
Two foreign ships passing in the night
Noticing the other’s faded glow
But ne’er again the Twain shall meet

How can it not be thus
When you treat him how you do
Flying off the handle at the drop of a hat
Shouting and screaming
Pushing him away
Both on tenterhooks
Treading on eggshells
Waiting for the other to blow

You can never change another
Only yourself
Focus on how you want to be
Take care of yourself
Eat well, Eat little, Eat often
Offer him those little touches you crave so much
Be gentle
Be kind
Both to him, And yourself
I was in two minds whether to include a further two verses or not, so decided to publish an abbreviated version as well as the longer version and see what others thought
Jul 2022 · 152
I Miss (abbreviated)
SiouxF Jul 2022
I miss
The tenderness
The soft tone
The passing touch
The squeeze of an arm
The gentle caress
The post-****** hug
The explanation of how things are

Now it feels
Remote
Distant
Disconnected
Two ships passing in the night
In the eye of the storm
Noticing each other’s faded glow,
But ne’er again the Twain shall meet
I was in two minds whether to include a further two verses or not, so decided to publish an abbreviated version as well as the longer version and see what others thought
Jul 2022 · 1.4k
Lost
SiouxF Jul 2022
Lost in the tangled thoughts of
Seductive voices
Calling “Come hither,
We’ll help you escape from the pain and torment”.
In those last moments
Remembering not those who care,
Unable to reach out to grasp what surely would be
A proffered hand of help,
A staff of support,
A pillar to lean on,
If only they had known
The oppressive pull of the deep dark abyss
Enveloping all around,
And ******* you dry.

The cavernous pain and loss,
Excruciating guilt,
Unanswered questions,
Swirling confusion
Of those left behind,
A mother burying her favoured son,
A best friend losing his confidant,
A world shining less bright
With the loss of potential of what might have been.
Jul 2022 · 1.4k
A Life No More
SiouxF Jul 2022
A life no more,
Bright flame extinguished
Before it’s time,
Empty shell six foot under,
Soul flying free.

Mourners line the graveside
While birds sing sweet songs
In contrast to tear sodden faces,
And the finality of the thump of blood red roses landing on wood.

I never knew the departed,
Was only there to lend a supportive arm to one who remained,
But moved to tears nonetheless
For the sordid shame and meaningless loss
That only suicide brings.
May 2022 · 254
She
SiouxF May 2022
She
Do not be sad and miserable
because she has
gone.
Rejoice and be happy
for she has
Lived,
And
Loved.
And in so living
She made you
Who you are
Today,
So give thanks and gratitude,
And know
That you will meet
Once again.
Apr 2022 · 445
Highs and Lows II
SiouxF Apr 2022
To feel deeply
You must experience
Both intense happiness,
But also acute sadness,
For you cannot have one
Without the other.
Apr 2022 · 291
Highs and Lows
SiouxF Apr 2022
With incredible happiness
Comes great highs;
But also great lows,
For you cannot feel one
Without the other.
Feb 2022 · 142
We Are All Chosen Ones
SiouxF Feb 2022
We are all chosen ones,
But our choices and decisions dictate
Whether we can be saved, or not.
Only by looking in the mirror
Can we truly ascend,
By our words and thoughts and deeds.
Peace to one,
Peace to all.
Feb 2022 · 198
Pool of Tranquility
SiouxF Feb 2022
Stream of consciousness
Residing in the pool of tranquility
Ready to seep into the marrow bones
Of all who dare
Feb 2022 · 363
Standing In Your Truth
SiouxF Feb 2022
The hardest thing of all
During this fight between good and evil,
And yet the most important,
Is standing in your truth,
Holding the line,
Staying strong,
And being true to yourself,
Even when contrary to popular opinion.
Dec 2021 · 1.5k
The Wordsmith
SiouxF Dec 2021
A wordsmith sits patently
Sharpening and refining his tools.
He listens and he waits
For the deadly moment,
Knowing exactly when to strike.
He unsheathes his sword,
Pointing expertly towards his prey.
Words of shining steel
Slice through the air
Landing with intent,
Cutting with precision,
Twisting with malice,
Into this bleeding heart
Of mine.
Dec 2021 · 308
Too Much To Bear
SiouxF Dec 2021
An exceptional poet encapsulates the human condition from their own experience.
But the pain of realising how much you have hurt someone,
How worn out they are because of you,
Is almost too much to bear.
Dec 2021 · 117
What’s Important
SiouxF Dec 2021
What’s important is Today,
Not what went before,
Or what may happen,
Don’t waste your time on these imposters both.
Dec 2021 · 711
A World Of My Own
SiouxF Dec 2021
Living in a world of my own,
Bound in beguiling threads
In an intricately tapestried mind map,
Always thinking,
Rarely living,
Socially isolated,
Socially inept,
A prisoner of my mind,
Falling down never ending rabbit holes
Into boundless oceans of despondency and despair,
Paralysed by confusion,
An assault on the senses,
Suffocating,
Unable to breathe.

A familiar light shines in the distance,
I swim towards it,
Limbs thrashing,
One stroke forward,
Two strokes back,
One stroke forward,
One stroke back,
Two strokes forward,
One stroke back,
Slowly, slowly,
Closer and closer,
Until I reach the life raft and arms of my saviour,
Who never gave up hope of finding me again,
Even in the darkest hours.
Dec 2021 · 803
The Labyrinth of Life
SiouxF Dec 2021
Conversation inhibited,
Yet also free of constraint,
Small talk a challenge,
In depth conversation my forte
And interrogation my ally
Bombarding others with quick fire questions,
‘You’re too deep’ it has been said more than once
As I reveal too much once again.

Misunderstanding social cues,
Eye contact a no no,
****** expressions a blur,
Tone of voice a trigger,
Hence emotions a minefield.

Literal listening,
Literal speaking,
Leading to sense of humour bypass,
Don’t waste your innuendos, irony and sarcasm on me,
Direct speaking is what wins the day.

Overwhelming sensory overload,
Confusion,
Misunderstanding,
Mishearing,
Tendency towards negativity,
Introversion,
A war of words
Inside my head
Pouring out my mouth,
Tearing me apart
And those whom I love.

Now working hard to change the script,
To be aware of the impact of deficiencies, defensiveness and quirkiness,
To remain level headed and mindful
As I alternate between tiptoeing and running roughshod
Through the labyrinth of life.
The implications of probably having Aspergers, and a world view shaped by a narcissistic father
Dec 2021 · 740
Socially Inept
SiouxF Dec 2021
All my life
Living under a cloud of doom and fear and negativity,
Believing I was deficient in some way,
I’d done something really bad,
But knowing not what.

Guilt now in tatters,
Shame no longer around,
Worry retreating,
As I finally discover
All I’m guilty of
Is being

Socially
Inept!
Dec 2021 · 610
In The Woods
SiouxF Dec 2021
Trees swaying,
Leaves rustling,
Buzzards soaring.
Wind’s delicate caressing touch,
Autumn sun’s warming golden rays
Filtering through the trees
Onto the woodland floor.
Peace and silence reigns
In between birds’ angelic song
Of gratitude and praise
Drawing the day to a close.
A moment of calm and serenity after a Foraging and Wild Cookery Day in the woods
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