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Dec 2021 · 988
The Wordsmith
SiouxF Dec 2021
A wordsmith sits patently
Sharpening and refining his tools.
He listens and he waits
For the deadly moment,
Knowing exactly when to strike.
He unsheathes his sword,
Pointing expertly towards his prey.
Words of shining steel
Slice through the air
Landing with intent,
Cutting with precision,
Twisting with malice,
Into this bleeding heart
Of mine.
Dec 2021 · 176
Too Much To Bear
SiouxF Dec 2021
An exceptional poet encapsulates the human condition from their own experience.
But the pain of realising how much you have hurt someone,
How worn out they are because of you,
Is almost too much to bear.
Dec 2021 · 65
What’s Important
SiouxF Dec 2021
What’s important is Today,
Not what went before,
Or what may happen,
Don’t waste your time on these imposters both.
Dec 2021 · 86
A World Of My Own
SiouxF Dec 2021
Living in a world of my own,
Bound in beguiling threads
In an intricately tapestried mind map,
Always thinking,
Rarely living,
Socially isolated,
Socially inept,
A prisoner of my mind,
Falling down never ending rabbit holes
Into boundless oceans of despondency and despair,
Paralysed by confusion,
An assault on the senses,
Suffocating,
Unable to breathe.

A familiar light shines in the distance,
I swim towards it,
Limbs thrashing,
One stroke forward,
Two strokes back,
One stroke forward,
One stroke back,
Two strokes forward,
One stroke back,
Slowly, slowly,
Closer and closer,
Until I reach the life raft and arms of my saviour,
Who never gave up hope of finding me again,
Even in the darkest hours.
Dec 2021 · 67
The Labyrinth of Life
SiouxF Dec 2021
Conversation inhibited,
Yet also free of constraint,
Small talk a challenge,
In depth conversation my forte
And interrogation my ally
Bombarding others with quick fire questions,
‘You’re too deep’ it has been said more than once
As I reveal too much once again.

Misunderstanding social cues,
Eye contact a no no,
****** expressions a blur,
Tone of voice a trigger,
Hence emotions a minefield.

Literal listening,
Literal speaking,
Leading to sense of humour bypass,
Don’t waste your innuendos, irony and sarcasm on me,
Direct speaking is what wins the day.

Overwhelming sensory overload,
Confusion,
Misunderstanding,
Mishearing,
Tendency towards negativity,
Introversion,
A war of words
Inside my head
Pouring out my mouth,
Tearing me apart
And those whom I love.

Now working hard to change the script,
To be aware of the impact of deficiencies, defensiveness and quirkiness,
To remain level headed and mindful
As I alternate between tiptoeing and running roughshod
Through the labyrinth of life.
The implications of probably having Aspergers, and a world view shaped by a narcissistic father
Dec 2021 · 65
Socially Inept
SiouxF Dec 2021
All my life
Living under a cloud of doom and fear and negativity,
Believing I was deficient in some way,
I’d done something really bad,
But knowing not what.

Guilt now in tatters,
Shame no longer around,
Worry retreating,
As I finally discover
All I’m guilty of
Is being

Socially
Inept!
Dec 2021 · 184
In The Woods
SiouxF Dec 2021
Trees swaying,
Leaves rustling,
Buzzards soaring.
Wind’s delicate caressing touch,
Autumn sun’s warming golden rays
Filtering through the trees
Onto the woodland floor.
Peace and silence reigns
In between birds’ angelic song
Of gratitude and praise
Drawing the day to a close.
A moment of calm and serenity after a Foraging and Wild Cookery Day in the woods
Oct 2021 · 301
Mid-night
SiouxF Oct 2021
The darkness of the night,
Silent and elusive for a while,
Returns to me
Like a long lost friend
As my creative juices
Start to flow once again.
Sep 2021 · 100
The Thinker
SiouxF Sep 2021
Perpetually adrift,
Lost down a myriad of rabbit holes,
Like Rodin’s The Thinker at the Gates of Hell,
That’s exactly where the devil wants you,
Caught up in your tangled thoughts rather than living life in the here and now,
Overwhelming emotions,
Mental confusion,
Hysteria,
Feeling like there’s
No
Way
Out....

Stop!
Breathe!
Slow down your pitch,
Lower your tone of voice,
Hand your worries to God,
Ask Him to relieve you of your burden and light your way,
Consciously choose the path of joy and love
Over fear
Time after time after time...
Aug 2021 · 113
Awakening
SiouxF Aug 2021
We the sleepy are waking up,
Noticing what’s behind the veil
That’s kept us from our one true being,
Prepare yourself for change afoot,
Seek redemption in our Lord Almighty,
Pray with all your might,
And light the way for those who are willing and ready.
Aug 2021 · 117
Still Standing
SiouxF Aug 2021
Despite the devil’s best attempts
To drag me down rabbit holes and muddle my thinking,
Or drown me in the lake of despondency and despair,
I’m still standing.
And not only that,
Full of tenacity, hope and courage,
And with God on my side
I won’t just survive,
But thrive.
Aug 2021 · 325
Reaching Out
SiouxF Aug 2021
When life’s a challenge
And all feels lost,
No hope in sight,
No clear direction,
There’s only one thing to do,
And that’s pray to God Almighty,
For He has your back
And will comfort and guide you,
If only you let Him.
🙏🏻
Aug 2021 · 74
Unapologetically Me
SiouxF Aug 2021
Whatever you say about me,
Whether you judge me,
Or condemn me,
I really don’t care.

I may choose to wear green with blue,
Or pink with red,
And a large straw hat.
Don a posh dress to the shops,
Or T-shirt and jeans to the opera.
I may sing in the street,
And dance in the rain.
I may stay up all night,
And sleep all day.
Work from bed in pyjamas,
Or take the day off
And swim in the sea.
I may laugh at your anger,
And cry at your humour.
Be assertive and strong,
Or bossy and proud,
Take a stand for what I believe,
Or simply let things pass me by.
I may be single and sexually active,
Or marry and abstain,
Or switch between the two.
I may be the life and soul of the party,
Or people watch from the fringe.
I may chat ten to the dozen,
Or say nothing at all.
I may spend time in your company,
Or decline for my own.
I may stay...
Or I may walk away.

It’s my life,
My choices,
My desire,
To do and be who I want day by day,
And which I choose is fine by me.

So whatever you say about me,
However you judge or condemn,
I simply don’t care!
For I’m Unapologetically
Me.
Aug 2021 · 88
No More
SiouxF Aug 2021
No more a scrap of a girl
Retreating in her shell,
No more a Cinderella
Not invited to the ball,
No more a lady in waiting
Hiding in the wings,
For I have cast off my cloak of shame and despair,
And I stand here now
As a fully fledged 51 year old
Beautiful,
****,
Sassy
Woman
💃
Aug 2021 · 99
Is That Me?
SiouxF Aug 2021
Is that me?
Is that really me?
That girl in the photo?
The one standing in her power,
Wrapped in chiffon and little else,
Looking confidently towards the future,
With her hands on her hips
And a glint in her eye,
Assertive,
Sassy,
****.
Yes.
That’s
Me!
Aug 2021 · 335
A Year Ago
SiouxF Aug 2021
In the midst of a sudden storm
One night a year ago,
Whilst solitary camping
In ancient woodland
With wise majestic oaks,
From seemingly nowhere
A poem flowed from within,
Unleashing a torrent of words.
387 published poems later,
Releasing bridled feelings,
Unveiling past experiences,
Encapsulating deep seated pain and hidden anguish,
My healing journey continues,
With inner strength, courage, compassion
And a 180 degree turn
Towards my dreams
And my future.
One year anniversary of the start of my poetry journey on 26th July 2020
Aug 2021 · 108
Like An Oyster
SiouxF Aug 2021
An oyster starts off as pure and innocent,
Until an irritating parasite, wheedles it’s way in,
Instead of succumbing,
The mollusk covers it in layers and layers of elegant nacre,
Transforming it into something magical and beautiful and priceless,
One of nature’s miracles,
A strong iridescent unique pearl.

We must do the same,
Cover our failings and our insecurities and our sins
In layers and layers of kindness and compassion and forgiveness,
Till we too blossom and shine bright,
Becoming priceless in all our glory.
SiouxF Aug 2021
You only stayed because
God wanted you to,
Forcing you to stay
Against your will,
By choice you’d be gone,
You’d have run far away,
Because of who I am
And what I do
😢

But by the grace of God
You are still here
Still believing in me,
Still supporting me,
Still empowering me
Helping me unfurl my wings
And not just to fly,
But to soar.
🦅
Jul 2021 · 258
Transient
SiouxF Jul 2021
No matter what you are going through,
Good or bad,
Challenges or joy,
Remember,
Everything is temporary,
Non-permanent,
Transient,
So either enjoy the moment,
Or learn the lesson,
And move on.
Jul 2021 · 212
Constant
SiouxF Jul 2021
No matter the storm you find yourself in,
Know God is constant
And there by your side,
Supporting you,
Holding you,
As you journey through the trials and tribulations of life
And worm holes of the Devil’s making.
Put your faith in the Lord
For He will never leave you,
But be patient,
For it’s not until you trust and believe,
Until you are ready,
That he will reveal Himself unto you
Jul 2021 · 162
I Am Ready
SiouxF Jul 2021
I am a sinner...
Yet You love me anyway,
I lay my worries, my woes and my fear at Your feet,
For You know all of me,
I have nothing to hide,
So I hold nothing back,
I give myself to You completely
For You to do with as You wish,
Show me the way,
Guide me,
Lead me,
For I put my trust in You,
And I am ready Lord
Jul 2021 · 63
Disappointment
SiouxF Jul 2021
Knowing I disappoint someone
Who believed in me before
Cuts to the core
Disappointment regret sadness shame
Jul 2021 · 132
Belief
SiouxF Jul 2021
Live life wholeheartedly
With wide eyed awe and wonder,
Like an innocent child
Joyfully believing in folk tales,
Unicorns, 🦄
And rainbows, 🌈
Believe in those fairy tales,
Believe in possibilities,
Believe in you,
For what you believe you will achieve,
Your potential is limitless
When you let yourself shine ✨
SiouxF Jul 2021
Finally liberated from the chains of narcissism,
Nothing can hold me back now,
Rising from the ashes,
Surfacing from the bottom of the deepest darkest lake,
Escaping from the depths of despair,
Once lost,
Now free,
Free to fly as a bird,
Lo behold anyone holding me back now
As I soar to my destiny,
As I celebrate my freedom,
As I embrace my liberation.
Jul 2021 · 113
Control
SiouxF Jul 2021
Trying to control what happens to you,
What others should or shouldn’t do,
Say or not say,
Be or not be,
Forces you and them into a box,
Restricts, confines, disappoints,
Batters expectations,
Suppresses spontaneity,
Pulverises possibilities,
Bludgeons synchronicities,
Annihilates joy from life.
Jul 2021 · 217
Confusion
SiouxF Jul 2021
Confusion reigns supreme,
Enveloping you
In a swirling distorted fog
Of mixed emotions and
Contradictory messages,
Con - mislead, false, unreal,
Fusion - tie up in knots,
Befuddle,
Unsure what’s happening,
What’s up, what’s down,
Wanting,
Needing,
To understand,
To know,
To learn,
How to break out
Of this endless cycle of
Perplexity,
Asking for help,
Receiving none,
You’re on your own,
Drowning in this murky abysmal soup
Of contorted pain and
Incomprehension
Jun 2021 · 138
Over The Horizon (abridged)
SiouxF Jun 2021
Over the horizon
Our dreams await,
Waiting patiently,
Patiently,
For us to listen,
Listen,
Echoing our soul’s desire,
Desire.
Jun 2021 · 116
Over The Horizon
SiouxF Jun 2021
Over the horizon
Our dreams await,
Waiting patiently,
Patiently,
For us to listen,
Listen,
Echoing our soul’s desire,
Desire.

Dreams whispering
Between the mists of time,
Crying to be heard,
Screaming to be noticed,
Shouting to be paid attention to,
In order to not only live,
But to thrive,
To dance,
To have,
To be.
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