I miss him so much it echo's through me,
vibrations taking over because,
Some days I'm blinded with longing.

The tingling in my fingertips,
just a reminder that his hands,
are missing from mine.

He had this way of making me laugh,
that shook me,
filling me with bursts of goodness.

Eyes so knowing,
they saw right through me,
leaving me bare and comfortable.

I look at the aftermath,
it could have been love,
because this ache is so real it stuns me.

I remember the first time someone explained to me what the word gay meant.
We were in middle school
Playing on the swing set behind Stoy Elementary
"He’s so gay," she said
Bitter disgust poured out of her mouth with every syllable
I could not think as to why being happy could be such a horrible thing
And so I asked
My exact words being
“Whats so wrong with being happy?”
Now both my friends looked at me weird
“Don’t you know what gay means?”
“Doesn’t it mean to be happy?”
“You’re such a little kid, gay does not mean happy. Gay is a boy who likes another boy”
I stood there wondering why it mattered so much that a boy liked another boy;
why it was such a distasteful thing.
And why it meant gay couldn’t still mean happy.

I remember you,
In the winter,  3am all those years ago.
It was freezing in the abandoned lot.
The cold iron barrel on your temple.

When you pulled the trigger,
There was no pulling through.
No grand victory over demons.
Just confusion in the lives you touched.

When you pulled the trigger,
Graduation didn't come.
College letters piled at the door.
Friends got a funeral instead of a party.

When you pulled the trigger,
You would never meet new friends
Inspiring them, nor be the shoulder old ones
Leaned on, empty feelings swelling.

When you pulled the trigger,
Your lover to be, lost herself.
The daughter was never born.
You never got to hear how you were her hero.

I remember that night,
Seared into my memories.
Of a champion, who wiped away the tears,
Said to himself no more.
Went home to his family who loved him.
Made life happen, and conquered
The depths of his own hell.

Look at the stars,
Do you see how they shine?
Darling, they'd shine even brighter,
If only you were mine.

Love is a simple four letter word,
We see it from dawn to dusk,
From Child to Adult,
But what does it mean?
It  could be a chemical reaction, that's in our brain,

But maybe it's something more...
Is it a feeling?
A silly idea someone just made up
Or is it something deep down inside that stirs?
What is Love?

When your heart beats Faster and Faster?
When you kiss your Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
When you dream of a perfect partner?
Spending time with that special someone?
What is Love?

The way your parents and siblings get along?
The way your family cares and supports you ?
How you guys spend time together?
Or is it?
The way you feel when you close your eyes and know that where you are right is safe?

What is love?
The friendship you have?
The bond that holds you like glue to your friends?
The care and concern you have for them?
Knowing that no matter what, you'll be together forever?

What is love?