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I close my eyes and in the darkness
I see you, my enchanting ecstasy, walking
Down a cobblestone street in silhouette.
Carefully placed footsteps echoing the
The pavement - without the slightest of regret.
Through the faint gas lit corridor
Vintage smells and a whispering wind
Accompany my meandering thoughts.
No matter where I go -
No matter when I go –
Footsteps going forward
Revealing the past.

In a cumbersome transom blended
With a tap-ta-tap, tap-ta-tap
Of a horse drawn carriage –
Therein a song is revealed.
Where else but in silent music do dreams
Blend reality with one’s emotions?
Aye - there in my mind’s eye -
Tap-ta-tap, tap-ta-tap, tap-ta-tap.

Do I have any life but this? Tap -
If not - let me lead it from here. Ta -
No death there be ‘lest - Tap -
Dispelled from there. Tap -
Nor any ties to earths to come. Ta -
Nor any action in any effort of new. Tap -
Except in the blessed extent - Ta -
Of this other realm of loving you. - Tap -

And in my mind’s eye –
The music,
Tap-ta-tap, tap-ta-tap -
Of cobblestone and hoof –
Ta-tap
Returns me to ....

Nostalgic piece about thoughts of times long past and about the sounds, sights and smells that time travel one to previous times.
 Jan 2018 Rebel Heart
Angelique
I cannot say I don't miss you  
in hushed tones of violet  
I cannot say I don't miss your  
rapid hands that wrapped  
around my fragile neck  
I cannot say I don't miss  
Your yellow mark bruises  
That washed against my skin
I cannot say I don't miss the  
violence that escaped your mouth
and found your way to your fists  
that brushed against my skin
on my legs, on my arms
on my face it found its place
Everywhere on my fragile body
that consisted of the words  
“she belongs to me”
I do not miss the hits that  
found their way to my once  
Unscratched face  
but somehow, I let you into  
my fragile life and you made  
a bruise out of me
For anyone who suffers from domestic violence, please know you ARE not alone. A man nor woman should ever hurt someone they love, that is not love but abuse. Please stay safe
 Jan 2018 Rebel Heart
Alex
The voices in my head tell me things
Sometimes they can be good things!
They can tell me how lucky I am
How good of a family I have
How smart I am
Those are the times I am happy
And the voices are my friends

The voices in my head tell me things
Sometimes they can make me cut.
They can remind me of how I'll never get the guy I love
How I'm fat everywhere
How people talk bad about me
How ugly I am
How I need to stop everything
Those are the times I am sad
And the voices take me to the bathroom
Where my blood goes drip, drip, drip

When I'm sad the voices tell me to end it
Yet some of my friend voices are still there
They are the ones I can rely on
The ones that make me stop my sadness
The ones that tell me to put on a smile
And I am happy again

Where are those fun voices?
I miss them
I can't hear them through the noise
But I stay away from hurt
I try to create new, good voices
And that was how my fake smile was born
 Jan 2018 Rebel Heart
III
The boy who made
     A simple incision
     Above his heart
With the inky
Blade of a pen
Stuck a razor
          Inside,
And who moved his hand
     Like a blender
Lived to tell
The tale of
The girl down
     His block,
Who swore
     She'd be beautiful,

And laughed at
The misfortune of it all
As they crossed her arms
     And buried her when her
          Chest fell,
But didn't rise up quick enough again.
Part 2
 Jan 2018 Rebel Heart
III
The girl who tied
     Roses around her
     Tongue in hopes
To taste no evil
Bled to death
    With thorns
          In her teeth.
Part 1
This cloud
Is not grey
Ur white
When summer comes
Heat remind me of our love
Pure and my savior that keeps me
looking up
This blood was mine
But as u left it seems to drain
And it became dry but stained my
Heart and soul
 Jan 2018 Rebel Heart
Nicole
Glowing screens in the
Dark dark dark
White smoke against a
Spark spark spark
I'm consumed by this ****** up
Heart heart heart
And I need an escape from all its
Parts parts parts

I feel so broken and lost

My mind is a skipping record
Repeating everything until it's
Dead dead dead
I'm on the couch
And my love is in my
Bed bed bed
And I feel so trapped
Stuck in my
Head head head

I can't break this cycle alone
But I'm losing my cool
This is fear
This is panic
This is irrational
It's useless

And I need it to stop
Stop
Stop
Before it rips me
Apart
 Jan 2018 Rebel Heart
Nicole
I'm sorry I'm so ****** up and
Overall just complicated
I know my feelings
But sometimes I don't feel them
And that's terrifying
I know they're there but
They get shoved under
By the waves of anxiety and fear
I want to give you everything
But I don't know what that means
I get trapped within myself
And it feels like I can't breathe
These thoughts thrash through my mind
Tearing up everything they touch but
I love you entirely
And I don't want this darkness to touch you
So I'll probably always question
Why you make the active choice to be with me
I'll never understand
How someone as amazing as you
Could ever love someone this broken
For that, I am the luckiest person
Because you do love me
And you're with me
And you're the most loving and supportive person I know
And you remind me constantly
As exhausting as that might be
So thank you for being you
And for being here
I love you
Always
With love and tremendous appreciation,
Carter
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