She laughs at my jokes
She holds my hand
She likes my presence 
She talks to me 
She smiles at me

She does all the things
That you used to do
She's a wonderful being 
But I am a horrible person 
Because I still wish it was you

I have shed enough tears

For the both of us

While you said goodbye

To just one of us

You were scared of the dark

Scared of loud noises and horror movies 

Scared of the uncontrolled and unexpected

But you were terrified of saying 

"I love you, too"

"What is your dream"
I ponder on that question
And I think of you, of us
And I will quietly smile
"I don't really have a dream"
A smile and a shrug 
Let's just move on
Because I don't have a dream
When you're no longer with me

I wish there was a better way
To tell you that you've hurt me
Hurt me beyond repair and time
That the mark you left upon me
Is still there in my aching heart
I don't know a better way to say
How much you've hurt me besides
Saying the same words every day
"I miss you so much"

The first lie I ever told you in my life
Was a simple, tiny “yes”
My pillows are stained with my tears
Feeling how big this bed is to me now
I don't have the willpower to throw away
Our photos, writings, trinkets, promises
Every meal feels like too much for me now
And I still have your favorite bowl
Even finding a strand of your hair
Reminds me of how empty this home is
My thoughts are so overwhelming and loud
While my heart is quiet and heavy
And you stand in front of me, looking okay
And time has been so kind to you
As though your days have pared you
From the fallout between us
Asking me out of courtesy, “Have you been well?”
“Yes”
And your day resumes
While my own life has stopped