I smell like regret, intertwined with sweat.
The Lord's Prayer is resting on my tongue, under my breath.
There's heavy sighing, eyes closed, I's dotted with hearts, X's and O's.

... yet no one knows.

Sometimes I wonder if...
God, I just start to wonder
What is there to wonder when you've wandered to the point of no return?
Thoughts that do not seem bleak and horrid, but more so pointless and dull.
As if color faded away, and lights started to dim.
What do you do?
What are you to do when it feels like you can never win?

I let my emotions plague my soul.
I tend to use a tattered heart and tainted words,
watch it convert into poetry. 

Because poetry is not just words of the mind, but a message of being. 
A formation of subconscious memories from one human being to another. 

Poetry allows us to grow, to prosper. 
Sometimes, all you need to hear is a line that makes your heart stop. A reality check that stirs in motivation. 
However, a phrase could stop the heart, let walls break, the earth shake, and tear us into two. 

Poetry is a tool, to be used for better- or for worse- in order to ignite as all one. 

**Poetry is unity.

I don't think I've ever despised myself more than I ever have in this very moment.

I let myself crave you,
I let myself fall for you,
I broke for you.

I yearned for you like a small child staring into a candy store-
To look at not to touch-

But, oh, did I touch and did every touch feel like a sudden and overwhelming flame.
A desire so bright that it could light the darkest of hearts.

Too bad it burned your own heart in the process.

I had coffee on my breath when our lips first intertwined.
Short,
Detached,
But not urgent.

Our second was a surprise-
Something that quite literally caught me off guard.
A whirlwind of emotions soon followed.
Happiness.
Relief.
Confusion.
Everything, but a sense of contentment.

A mask and a face are virtually the same to me and whenever everything comes crashing around me, it's not the mask the leaves but the face that bleeds, leaving perforated scars as masqueraded lies, and I will swear to you that I am fine.