Our secrets followed us here
Into this aged room
With dusty walls
And a stale smell
That reminds me a lot of us
Stuck in these patterns
Of not telling the whole truth
For the sake of others
For the sake of ourselves
Saving face as if it were a race
To see who can hide the most
But my hands our tied
I can no longer be the one that lies
Because lying next to you
Has become a painful facade
A ridiculous charade
A song that’s been overplayed
A novel that needs an end
This is the moment that breaks us
When I stop biting my tongue
Until my mouth is filled with blood
This is the minute where truth floods
Downpour of rain
Drowning you in disdain

We cannot write silence.
The beats.
The pause.
The breath.
The way it aches
and persists

and begs that,

if only for a moment,

our consciousness is only a whisper.
our bodies,
our lips,
the air that passes through falling chests
and stillness.

A melody of emotion.
Sleeping in the quiet of a heartbeat skipped
a word lost to the wind.

The wickedness of reticence
Encapsulated in air and time.

The moment stretched too long.
Hesitation perpetuated in the grip of fingernails
pressed into palms.

We cannot write silence,
but we can try.

to find a way to immortalize emotion
to create space
in the ceaseless drone of words that speak and spin.

I cannot write silence. But I can write
tears and years
and the burn of long-stretched lies.

I can write goodbyes and hellos
And dozen ways to say
I love to hate you
Or
I hate to love you
and sometimes
I cannot tell the difference.
Silence.
The space I have upheld for myself.

I love to hate you
Heart.

I hate to love you too.

I cannot write silence.
But I know it.
and I have held it in my hand.

it's our most requested feature
aka
it's our most commonly ignored request
aka
give us more money
aka
then we will maybe work on what y'all suggest

Should I believe in a higher power
That I can not touch, see, or feel?
That lets innocent people be broken
Then worship him to heal

Should I trust that he is the reason
That I live every day
If I need a miracle
Drop down on my knees and pray

I don’t know how I feel
Or what I should believe
My god had forsaken me
Left me feeling naive

I want to trust
That he has purpose for me
From this indecision
I long to be free

Is blind faith a sign
Of strength or weakness
This indecision
Leaves me sleepless

do u think of me
or are u free
things are not
always what they seem

ur still here
only a memory
some good
some bad
toxic as they may be

was i a game
something to play
was that the plan
did u have ur say

u played it well
the game is done
and just like u
i had to run

it was worth it
the rise and the fall
i used to wonder
for now thats all...

--Kelcee All

He writes to me
As if i dont know
hidden feelings
he cannot show

I may be wrong
Possibility right
Hes always with me
Though out of sight

Truth be told
He has my heart
My one true love
Till death do us part

... Kelcee All