Nightmares hurt.
The emotional pain,
and the physical pain.
I can't count
how many times
I've woken up
to be
haunted by
my own
mind
and what
I think of.
I can't even
imagine
the times
I've woken up
with a
headache,
a heartache,
or both.
I can't begin
to reason
why my mind
has such a
vivid
perception
of what
a gunshot
feels like.
Or what
drowning
would be like.
But I've
dreamed them
so many
times,
It feels
like I've
lived them.
And please don't think
for a second
that's every
night.
There are the
good dreams
too.
The happy ones
where
everything
is alright.
But those hurt
way more.
Because
when I wake up,
I can
feel them being
torn away
by Morning.

"I can see my door, my bed, my window, my chair, and my table.

"I can feel my spine against the wall, my feet against the floor, my jaw tightly shut, and my fingernails buried in my arms.

"I can hear the wind coming in from the open window, my heartbeat rapidly thumping, and that familiar voice in my head, shouting once again.

"I can smell the dampness of the ground outside as the breeze carries it to my room, and the sickly sweet odor from the soap used on my hands.

"I can ******* blood spilling from the bite in my lip; my last harsh reminder that
        I
        am      
        still
        alive.

Dear life, you could say we don’t have the best relationship,

You are dark, you are hard, you are unfair, and you are even suffocating at times.

You make me feel small, you make me feel helpless and you make me feel broken.

You throw things at me, you are mean to me and you give me heart ache.

But you are also light, you are also beautiful and you are also extraordinary.

Dear life,
You are the reason that I laugh,
You are the reason that I see light,
You are the reason that I feel the warmth of hugs, and you are the reason I am here today.

Dear life, I will survive you.

I see darkness because I know light, I feel sadness because I’ve felt joy. I feel broken because I’ve felt whole. And anyway, some of the best cups of coffee are chipped.

You throw things at me because you know Im good at catching.

Dear life,
You are not unfair, without all of the wicked seeming things that you toss my way I would not be able to recognise the good and the beautiful in you.

Dear life, I love you.

You are a journey, an adventure, you are excitement, mystery, joy and love all bundled up in one.

You are a roller coaster, you are scary, you are fun, you make me scream with fear and with joy.

Dear life,
Thank you for giving me my lows so I can recognise my highs.

Thank you for giving me late night car rides with the music blasting, for giving me stomach aching and breath taking laughs, for giving me 2nd chances.

Thank you for creating babies and puppies and art and music and love and even pain.

Thank you for giving me the chance to live you.

Dear life,
The most beautiful things always hurt, even roses have thorns

Sometimes there seems to be more dark than light in you these days but there is light and I will heal and sometimes the healing is the aching.

Dear life, you are worth living

Combining each thought and sharing a single mind,
while all living things rot, there's a darkness that can blind.
We believe ourselves are invisible, never worthy of a second glance,
and even when miserable, we all can receive a second chance.

Darling have you heard the story of the sun and the moon,
a love that was eternal, yet ended far too soon.
And even though opposite, they made the other complete,
as at night the Earth was moonlit and in day the sun brought heat.

And they were outlined by the stars,
forever lighting up their connection,
and in between came Mercury and Mars,
barely sliding by detection.
Yes it's truly a sorry and sad tune,
that old love story of the sun and the moon.

Shining for eachother and lighting up the world,
with a love that could smother and emotional tides always swirled.
Passing by and on the go, barely glimpsing a sight,
but the moon will always glow and the sun will always shine bright.

Darling have you heard the story of the sun and the moon,
with disaster so contagious, they were always truly immune,
and even though apart, they shared a soul together,
and they shared a heart, and they shared the skies forever.

And they were outlined by the stars,
forever lighting up their connection.
In the history books and memoirs,
there's some things they fail to mention:
they were both adoring and made the other swoon,
that old love story of the sun and the moon.

It wasn't well hidden; they danced a dance of pure seduction,
and they felt it was forbidden, as it would lead to their destruction.
So they kept their space, to give us both the dark and the light,
and now they rise and set as a race, it's competition and a fight.

And they were outlined by the stars,
forever lighting up their connection.
The constellations near and far,
tell the tale of their affection.
It may not be of glory, and it may just tell of ruin,
but we all should remember the love story of the sun and the moon.