By ManicBrilliance.

2016/01/26


you know it's kind of sad.
growing up, I wanted more than I ever had.
I wanted to find a woman that would love me forever.
I wanted to someday become a father.
But now, I just want to survive.

does it make you happy to be the reason that good guys go bad?
does it entertain you to see us cry, when we tell you that you're the best we've ever had?
does your laughter burst at the seams when you know that you're the reason that good men give up on their dreams?

chivalry isn't dead. But love is.
as a matter of fact, I don't even really know anymore what love is.
I can't even see myself happy with another human being.
And being a father no longer feels like it would be good for my well being.

so many friends I know have grown to hate others.
because we get brought down with stab wounds and scars.
don't tell someone that you will be there forever.
when in reality you meant for never.

I guess when you are heartless it takes a toll on the ones that give you their soul.
so to the rare few women that do exist.
I apologise for my behavior,
But the liars and cheaters is what made me like this.

I work too much to think,
I think too much to work.
one minute I'm playing games,
trying hard to stay sane,
and then at my face I stare,
trying to fix my hair.
funny how time flies,
when you're doing twenty things at once,
I'm not the other guys,
it's been way to many month.
it's funny isn't it?
you try hard to keep your mental,
but your mental is detrimental to potential to have potential.
I despise the way you cry in the rain to hide the pain, when you try to hide the tears, and shelter all your fears, it's been way too many years, so you change it with the sheers, one hair at a time, counting down all of the crimes that happened to your life as you're reaching for the knife, screaming on the inside, but my words you don't abide when I'm trying.
I'm just trying.
****** I'm trying.
I'm trying.

I walk away in a silent vision of all things that are violent.
changing the description of faults, you default back into the shell as if it were your fault, but it's none but their own from what the records show.
And I try to make you see that inside my eyes you'll see a soul that's ment to be the reason that you breathe. but my words you don't abide, but I'm trying.
I'm just trying.
I can see, that you're trying.
I'm trying.

Delirious to the mysterious succession of the furious fears that settled in to the demons that are near to us and thus we make them dear to us.
my friend you are just missing out on what your life could be all about. a future that you surely doubt but realise that you're finally out. so wipe away the salted wounds that only you can see and despite all of the water you have to let yourself breathe because you're free. but my words you don't abide but I'm trying.
I'm just trying,
she not special but you're trying.

In the end do you love? or perhaps it was lust? or perhaps it was a must, for you to claim your trust. that you lost from your past? as a child you didn't last very long in a fight internally ignited by the crazed human beings that you said you wanted to show you your affection? instead of dereliction of a fantasy of perfection? and I read all of your sections and my words you don't abide even though I try.
and man, I am trying.
stop fighting it and try.
I'm just trying.

Albeit that you must realize who I am. I'm ashamed of what I was, I'm ashamed of what I became. I could never hide my sin, and I never could fit in, no matter friend or kin. so I hide the voice within trying to tell me to let them in. but what you know is just the skin. and you see.
the skin sheds.
as it dies, it tries to hide.
and me? I'm just trying.
so a hermit I will become.
because all I do is try.
and for now.
I'm done trying.

Within lamenting hushened calls,
Shepards watch thine burning sea.
As bussoms burn with froths of lies,
I shall avenge you, this I decree.


Lost art thou, to seven layers.
A trembled ground from which you cry,
With sword and dagger at my side,
To free you, I would surely die.


Worry not, the chains that bind,
I shall crush with mine own hands.
For power beacons within mine heart,
To crumble towers into sand.


But thy doth not knowst,
To slay the beast of sorcery.
The sword I bring is my mind,
And the dagger is mine poetry.

I've looked into the mirror,
Countless times before.
And all I saw was a reflection,
Of a sadness within It's core.

But last night I saw my light,
It was already there.
She lifted my soul,
Showed me the love to share.


It was not a human born,
Nor an angel that showed her face,
It was something much greater,
Her name was life, and I will remember her for days.

She spoke to me,
And told me these two words.
Grasping my hand,
Just smile, she said, assured.

So no matter what the issue,
No matter if there is pain.
I will put a smile apon my face,
And so should you but not in vain.


She danced with my angels,
And forced my demons away,
There is no reason to feel sadness,
When life helps you lead the way.

Teeter totter,
Canon fodder.
That's all that's left of thee.

These games of war,
Sings a silent cord.
Awaken on to me.

Brethren coded DNA,
False eyes where they lay.
For destined breaks the bonds.

The cannon fire,
Which you desire.
Left you crushed under your own arms.

So teeter totter
Cannon fodder.
While I watch you bleed.

Remember vengeance,
And your negligence.
Was fuel enough for me.

See the faces, all the people,
    

      Smiling, dancing in the croud.
    

      All the music, and the love,
    

      In my mind It's too loud.
    



      Little children, and the elders
    

      They all look just the same.
    

      Please stop smiling, please stop laughing.
    

      You are all driving me insane.
    



      So many colors, in this venue,
    

      It's making me see red.
    

      Such a pain when they smile,
    

      Cure the pain when they're all dead.
    



      Take the knives and slit their throats,
    

      Skin the children like sheep and goats.
    

      Heads rolling on the ground,
    

      Turning smiles into cold dead frowns.
    



      As each one falls they start to change,
    

      The different colors become the same,
    

      The floor stained by blood and tears,
    

      My lust finally consumes my fears.
    



      I still hear moans as they crawl around,
    

      No! I must end that dreadful sound!
    

      I look to see who is still alive,
    

      The blood drips from my knife.
    



      And I see her crawling pleading to let her go,
    

      Shhh... Be silent, this is now my show.
    

      Her hair so soft as I rip it out,
    

      The knife enters her chest, as I kiss her mouth.
    



      Finally, silence, so blissful to me,
    

      But don't worry, I'm not insane, I'm just....crazy

silent. be still your heart.
the end will soon be here.
deny as you may, you can no longer fight that you will no longer have fear.

quaint, be still your mind.
the haze will soon be lost.
and though you scream to the heavans, I ensure you that your calls have no cost.

steady, be still your hands.
the light is soon to come.
and though your riches were much in wealth, it will no longer see have a sum.

solice, be still your soul.
the tears will soon be shed.
the friend that you loved and adored, have cried at what has been said.

transcend, be still your vessel.
you have finally been freed.
as you have realized, the angels will bring you to your knees