You left me tainted
With pain and tears
So i tried to bleach
To remove every stain
I scrubbed so hard
But i got wounded
So i bleed again
And starts to hurt again
The stains are now scars
And now i will be forever reminded
Of how i tried to remove you
Yet i got marked instead

Please don't say that you know what my depression feels like
Because I don't want anyone else to feel like this
I don't have the usual kind of depression where you're just sad
I have the kind that makes me feel numb to everything
I feel nothing
I don't feel sad, or mad, or angry
I feel nothing
I don't get interested in anything
I have absolutely no motivation
I don't crave food
Eating makes me feel sick
I feel absolutely nothing
I feel disconnected from everything
And I hope that no one ever feels as numb as I do

I am a bodyless woman

The other bodyless women
and me
talk
We were DOA before anything begun
Our bodies, tying us down
Our bodies, the key to being unbound

It hurts so much
to see both sides
not just mine
to see him hurt at my closed gates
the frustration, pain he gets
You could have his world in your hands
the tension's heavy you could cut with a knife
But love sometimes is not enough
not enough
to defy
life's tough

And my pain, too.
Another man I'll lose.
His desire runs Deep
as deep as my anguish
The waters roar I am on I feel the tickling of love
the love below
but the wound doesn't heal so far

I got obsessed
with ***
so it got erased
The bodyless women we are
A bodyless woman I am
I've been on an exile from my own self.

The bodyless women - take my hand
Heal our minds - our body will follow
The bodyless women - being a spirit can be hurtful

I love reading your books
but cannot anymore.
I burst into tears
each time I open that door,
the one that leads into
the library of your heart.

Yes I'm a plus size
Because of this I was bias
I judged myself from the outside.
But when I look at the inside
my heart is a plus size too!
I have room to groom
To love to care
To open up to the broken hearted,
I have stories to share
And this is my story
To be use for God's glory.

And as I watch the cars pass, it makes me wonder if they have a destination, if I have a destination.
With eyes set on the stars where do you start?
Where does anyone start?
They say to be successful means not to reveal everything you know, but I'm an open book.
I guess I'm not broken anymore, but I'm not alive either.
When you feel like your soul is dragging your corpse through life, how do you gain what you lack?
How do you get the spark in your eyes back?
How do you get the fire back that was burning up inside to make you feel complete?
Where did all the good go?
Why do my eyes feel as though they could swallow someone whole just for them to find out that I'm empty...
I don't know if anyone has all these answers.
Maybe I was born to lose.