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Lili Gudewicz Feb 25
I wasted all my money on you.
Not you as a person , but what you did to me.
Therapy, Drugs, Alcohol all down the drain.
No amount of money will ever reverse the pain
My feelings came like a storm as I opened the door
All my missing money now makes me feel poor
I wish and I pray to god up above
To fill my broken heart back up with love
Lili Gudewicz Feb 25
Hue
I looked out the window and I thought I saw you
Turns out I only saw the figure of a hue
I really did believe that you were the one
But now in the day in the morning sun
Do I truly see the things you do
All because of the hue of you
Lili Gudewicz Feb 25
Foot Tapping
Hand Shaking
Mind Racing
Walls Breaking
Strength Taking
Nail Biting
Head Throbbing
Knees Clattering
Teeth Chattering
Life Shattering
Lili Gudewicz Feb 25
Hyperventilation
Depleting Frustration
Suffocation
A Painful Sensation
Desperation
Without Moderation
Devastation
Eternal Damnation
Deprivation
Emotional Mutilation
Derealization
Fear Escalation
Depersonalization
Self Extermination
Lili Gudewicz Feb 24
When i said
'living on the edge'
this was never what i meant.
What i meant was a real party all night
without a parents' permission;
not a pity party at night
with my self destructing notions.
What i meant was real rollercoasters
or going on life adventures;
not rollercoasters of all my life's emotions.
What i meant was a swim in the ocean
or to face my darkest fears;
not an ocean
of my darkest fears facing me.
And when i said
put 'happy' and 'die' together;
i meant to 'die happy'
not be 'happy dying'.
My life is not what i had meant
Lili Gudewicz Feb 24
i'm not sure what i expected,
but what you had should not have been accepted.
i should have seen it in the black of your eyes,
but they were clouded from all your lies.
i should have listened to their warnings,
but instead i was left mourning.
i thought that i was learning,
but instead i was left yearning.
You left with all my happiness,
and now all i seem to ask for is your forgiveness.
And even though i have not seen you in years,
i could still cry you a river of tears.
i would never accept the opportunity to try,
so instead, i guess this is goodbye.
Lili Gudewicz Feb 24
i hate the feeling of sleet assaulting my skin because its sting feels so much like a strike from your hands.

— The End —