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louella Jul 2022
your fists are like cannonballs
hard, closed
you trap me in the palm of your sweaty hands
crushing me
but the warmth is the only temperature i feel
so i stick by your disheartening side
i wrote this the other day, i kinda liked the idea of it lol. i’m not in an abusive relationship btw, just clarifying

7/24/22
louella Jul 2022
what would you do with all the sand in the world?
if the tides disappeared, a dry land appeared
what would you do?
would you pile it on top of me to smother me?
would you put it over my head to taunt me?
or would you make it fall, ever so slightly around me, filling up my space with sandy fumes, glass trapping me inside?
would you give me a slow death, watch me suffer?
or would you pull me out after seeing me take the brunt of it?
what would you do with all the sand in the world, one may ask?
nothing, just leave it put
this is so so random
7/23/22
louella Jul 2022
was she just a friend when you kissed her chapped lips?
was she just a friend before we called it quits?
did friends ever equate to the same definition of mine?
you could’ve told me so i didn’t have to waste my time.
never even had a boyfriend

7/22/22
louella Jul 2022
text bubbles moving
as i wait for a carefully
calculated response.
the anticipation is brutal.
sentences ending with lol
cause there is nothing else
to say, but if i stop speaking
it will be rude and offensive.
the screen lights up and
your name flashes by and
my pulse increases in speed.
how do i respond…
this is what happens when i text people
7/19/22
louella Jul 2022
the ice filled
my esophagus
i couldn’t breathe
it froze my tongue
no words could exit
they touched
me with
their warm
wicked hands
memory fading
but tears rolling
down my cheeks
ever so softly
i am so obsessed, i have so many issues

7/17/22
louella Jul 2022
the pool filled with all my doubts
sits outside a quiet unoccupied beach house

hopefully one day, i will get to fill it with my certainties
i’m super proud of this lol

7/17/22
louella Jul 2022
the countryside passing by gradually
from the windows in the car.
wind whistling.
he stops abruptly
parking the car at the side of the dirt road.
you both exit the vehicle.
he grabs you by your sweaty hands
and lifts you onto the roof of the car.
slowly, he pulls himself up as well.
you both stare at the cornfield
as the sun is setting
along the line of pine trees.
you just watch nature, calmly, quietly.
his hand touches yours and you lean
on his shoulder.
he kisses your forehead and you smile
brightly, seeing midnight stars in his
golden hour blue eyes.
he climbs down and lowers you
as the sun sinks
below the brush.
he walks over to the passenger side
where you sit for the drive.
he buckles you in and kisses your lips.
they taste like cherry chapstick.
he packs into the drivers seat and looks
over at you adoringly.
you return the same exact breathtaking look.
the car starts moving, just as
leisurely as before.
soon you both spot an open field
hidden in between millions of shrubs
and trees and freshly bloomed flowers.
his teeth glisten as he grins so widely.
your wild hair tamed by the halt of the engine
whispers “yes” to his childlike disposition.
you both book it out of the car
and bolt towards the field,
yelling and pretending to fly.
you get a head start and twirl like
a ballerina in the light of the early moon
with clouds forming circles around
her majestic beauty.
he comes up right behind you and scoops
you up and hugs you so tightly.
you break out of the hug and tackle
him to the dry grass.
you both roll around, laughing, giggling,
smelling pollen, acting crazy.
you both stop for a split second,
seeing fireworks explode and
specks of the new moon
in each other’s pupils.
clarity strikes you and you fall softly
onto his chest with a sigh of pure bliss.
he strokes your hair,
the motion of the movement of his fingers
soothes your heartbeat.
you could die happily at this moment.
but he hears the howl of a
coyote and perks up.
you both jump up with enough energy
to power a twelve ton truck.
you race to the red jeep parked on the side
of the dusty road.
breathing heavily, you pack
into the automobile.
frightened, you turn to him
and you both burst out laughing,
throwing your heads back cackling like crows.
perhaps, you were afraid in that moment
but nothing allays you
better than him and his confident mentality.
once more, the engine restarts
and the road behind you grows
smaller and smaller,
the moon above sparkling,
leaving spots on the car where she shines
down on you.
she knows, she knows, she knows,
he loves you
to the moon and all the way back to earth
a thousand billion times
the scenario i thought of last night. i wanted to make the reader more involved, so i made it second person. this is the type of stuff i imagine.

7/17/22
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