but when i said
‘living on the edge,’
this was never
what i meant.

what i meant was real party all night
without parents’ permission;
not a pity party at night
with my self-destructing notions.

what i meant was real rollercoasters,
or go on life adventures;
not roller coasters
of all my life’s emotions.

what i meant was swim in the ocean,
or face my darkest fear.
not an ocean of my
darkest fears face me.

but i when i said
put ‘happy’ and ‘die’ together,
i meant to actually ‘die happy’
not to be ‘happy dying.’

If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
And measles were nice and a lie warn’t a lie,
Life would be delight,—
But things couldn’t go right
For in such a sad plight
I wouldn’t be I.

If earth was heaven and now was hence,
And past was present, and false was true,
There might be some sense
But I’d be in suspense
For on such a pretense
You wouldn’t be you.

If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee
Things would seem fair,—
Yet they’d all despair,
For if here was there
We wouldn’t be we.

I can't sleep
Everytime I remember your words
They snap and recoil
And hurt me awake
Next time when someone
Promises me forever
I'll just smile
Look them in the eyes and ask
How long is forever to you.

... And when
They promise you forever
Don't overthink it.

Forever is a second,
an hour and a day.

Forever is until it ends.

So,

Cherish every moment.

Captivated...
My thoughts,
you take hold of them.
I replay every moment we spend in my head.
In my mind you become that film from childhood,
filled with nostalgia and comfort.

Captivated...
My words,
if only I could find them,
I would save the sweetest for you.

Liberated...
My soul,
flowing like a brook in the summer,
you dip your toes in the stream.
I feel your presence,
and it fills me with vigor.

Liberated...
My feelings
They are now free,
free to run,
free to fly away,
to find new pastures,
Yet instead they lie next to you,
slumbering, entranced in your peace.

Forgotten...
My past,
a torn apart ship drowned in the ocean,
suddenly becomes forgotten.
Ancient hurts and ancient pains,
the wounds become fresh again,
and they become healed.

My doubts,
tearing, fighting, screaming at me.
They demand my attention.
Now their voice is lost.
Yours I hear instead,
and it calls me,
reminding me of a future,
cemented in trust.

Loved
It's a feeling,
a thought,
an emotion,
untanglible,
untarnished and true.
And now, at last,
I've found it in you.