There are a few things in the world
That wave between light and darkness.
Such things allure me
I've some unknown hunger for them
Like a monster
It's neither an angel
Nor a devil
But it still is
Like a black rose
Rose is a symbol of goodness
Yet its stained in darkness
And it blooms as black
These things captivate me
Like a charmer captivating it's prey
I wonder about them all the time
I guess after all
I'm like them

Pink wisps
      thin, like cotton candy,
f
l
o
a
t

softly around my skin.

I         s           n
             p    i  

under the expansive, lucid
sky.
    


S     i    g   h.



Air flows in and from
     my  lungs.

Hung in the depth of the horizon
sits a mountainous,
golden
               sun.

I run (run, run and run),
            quick to catch a lick
   of the warmth

into my mouth so it

f
i
l
l
s

me
      
to the seams.

Light      b     e     a    m    s
from my f
                    i
                       n
                           g
                               e
                                  r
                           ­          s
Yellow air lingers
on
my tongue.

I           t                   l
               w          r
                       i
'til
I am

             unstrung.

Lunge! Forward and fast,
Make this
f
   a
d
   i
n
   g
moment     l     a     s    t.

Past the horizon,

the
sun

s
i
n
k
s

low to edge of the ground.
   
    I found
my meaning
in       the      gleaming
              l i  g h t
that beats so   b r i g h t.

I use all of my height to jump and grasp

the last pink wisp
    that kiss(es) my lips.

"'Til tomorrow",

I whisper to the now
dark sky.

I'll keep my head held
up
     high,

             for this this just a temporary

"goodbye".

A million things to apologize for.
Ten thousand times I wish Id said
"I'm really not ******* okay".
A thousand days I want to do
Over again.
A hundred times whispered
"I hate who I have become"

Ten days that all I saw
Was the end I need to carry out.

And one
Just one
Simple step.
Slide the knife
End your life.

But instead I held on.
I hoped for better.
I prayed I could be more.
And I found
That I'm not.

I'm still broken,
Still shattered,
Still lost.

I still hate who I've become.
Only now I scream it in my mind.
Hoping the world will hear
But praying no one will bother.

I don't want to be a burden
I just want to love her.
But maybe broken people are meant
To stay broken
And to break the things the touch.
Maybe I'm broken
Because I'm meant to be this way

i'm sure you could imagine,
the new proud parents' joy.
when the doctor finally announced,
"you have a baby boy"

as she held him in her arms,
all their worries were erased.
they didn't know then,
of the troubles they would face.

"i'm sorry i have to be the one to say,
your little boy has cancer.
i know that life seems hard today,
things are always worse before the get better."

endless hours of chemotherapy,
hospitals becoming a second home.
dozens of tests to check his status,
he was watched but felt so alone.

some days he felt big and strong,
and other days trapped in hell.
it was in the little boy's smile,
the way that you could tell.

and though the boy was small in size,
he fought with all his might.
the cancer's strength he matched for awhile,
he put up a pretty good fight.

time of death, 4:12

his mother smoothed down his hair,
and kissed him on his cheek.
the tears rolled down her face,
she'd never felt so weak.

his father felt his son's heart beat,
then fall silent just as fast.
he had been there for his son's first,
and he had felt his son's last.