What is this being standing before me in human form, spitting evil words and lashing insults like a leather strap crossing my back . Has it no heart or maybe one made of stone . Manipulating my inosance and tearing me down from the inside out. Has it no heart to bleed with regret or feel no remorse.
Why can't I turn and walk away, does my self rain of ignorance and stand with false hope. Believing that the words I love you and I'm sorry mean something more than the art of placing them together with no meaning at all . Do I escape from this torture or remain for more , when is enough going to be the destruction of my being when I've taken too much.
I stand and ponder to see The Distruction of Myself

©kimmied1105

As you travel through this journey of life, stay on your path, if it leads you in the right direction. Watch for the signs, they give you your warnings, move over and allow on coming traffic for people to enter your life, don't  follow them as they exit, these are the ones you don't need. Stop at the stop signs pay attention, slow down for bumps as you will have many, hitting a dead end means you took a wrong turn, a lesson in life  you go through, all of your travels mold who you are , continue to travel your journey of life looking forward , for looking in your rear view mirror to live in your past, your purpose of life will pass you by and you may never see it
©kimmied1105

Choose your words carefully,  as they are so easily spoken, yet rarely ever meant. Your words hold more power than ever imagined, but used without thinking holds the same with regret.
Words can be screamed so loud , or spoken with a whisper , no matter which way you speak them keep this in mind. Once they leave your mouth you never can retrieve them, so choose your words wisely and be sure the words you say to another you completely mean them , They never go away, remembered forever by the one you spoke them to. Be careful of the words you say ,
©kimmied1105

Before you go on to read  my writing, I ask that you read the one Titled " A Mother's Worst Fear" as you will appreciate and  understand this better .  As i sat patiently waiting  for my best friend of 20 years to be uncaged and given his freedom,
The excitement as I arrived must have blinded my entrance, never paying any mind to my surroundings , until I checked in with a guard and showed him my licence. He said without a smile for me to have a seat in the lobby, as I turned to do just that my heart hit the ground and then it hit me , I was standing in a building centered in the middle of a huge rounded  fence laced with razor sharp barbed metal.
I couldn't imagine the look on my face as I found me a seat, thoughts and emotions running so deep.
I couldn't help but notice 2 women sitting across from me, engaged in conversation. I heard one say her son was the young age of 19  , he had been stabbed four times in 2 different prisons, as the other chimed in her boy was now 30 this was his second time behind the fence of barbed wire
I tried to keep my head down so they couldn't see the tears welling in my eyes ,  my throat felt like a cotton ball was lodged I couldn't hardly swallow,  they shared their stories of their sons and their convictions, one was saling drugs the other robbed a store. Something inside me felt like a knife taking jagged strikes through my heart. My purpose for being there lost in my thoughts, I tried to stay silent and go unnoticed to reframe from any invitation of conversation   as one lady spoke up. Ma'am are you here to get your son too. I can't imagine the look on my face as I choked through the ball of cotton to respond to her. No ma'am unfortunately I'm not his release isn't until November of this year, my best friend of 20 years is the reason I'm here. Dropping my head back down I couldn't reframe any longer, the pain to much, tears rolling down my face as I tried wiping them away. My thoughts of my baby boy running rapid, God how I wish I was here to get him.
The men in uniform in and out , leaving me sickened with the metal doors slamming and self locking at their exit and entrance. The men all around the centered building I waited ,all wearing white with large black words stamped on their backs "Property of the State" Nothing but glass between them and me, I watched as some gathered while others sat alone in their own little world and wondered what my baby did when he was out there , was he joining the others in a game of ball or was he all by himself sad and alone. A guard informed us it wouldn't be long now, they were signing their release, The mother's excitement filled the room, was I being selfish, I should be excited to. soon I would see my best friend,  but all that my mind could think was God why can't I be waiting on my boys release. I picked up my friend as we got in the car, he noticed my silence and could see I had been crying , his age and conviction and knowing me so well, he offered me his condolences and then he said, you know I would've traded places with him just to see you reunited and happy again. Piercing pain and sorrow over took me now .we weren't even out of the parking lot I couldn't see to drive through my tears, I hugged him tightly and said, this is why you will always be my best friend for the next 20 years. My son called me later that night to congratulate my friend as I heard his voice crack on the other end of the line he said tell Mr. David I'm glad he's free , hey momma don't worry it's not my turn yet , he's aged and doesn't have the time left out there I do, for the next time you walk through this fence of barbed wire it will be me walking out to go home with you.

©kimmied1105

I always knew I was different , my own breed of human or something else.
Caring for everybody and feeling their pain , knowing their thoughts before spit from their mouth like vinum.
Be it like a curse slithering like the hair of madusa or a blessing like an angel with no wings.
There is but no place my presence exists if in company of another that I have any sense of silence.
Picture this if you will , close your eyes, screams of sadness skorch like the boiler on a hot eye without any water, seeing a vision in your head and wanting to warn someone about something terrible about to happen but the disturbing essence of it is, boxing with God isn't my job so what is there left to do.  
Aw let's drift behind the scenes of the world of spiritual beings rounding your head like a yoyo spinning into tangles of ratted up yarn. Needing your mind to tie loose ends or calm their doom of spiritual waste.
The life of an empathy, always making other's lives of peaceful logic and leaving their own stranded like a kidnapped baby in a forest of thorns with no entrance in and no exit out. This is my life

©kimmied1105

We search hopelessly for the love of our life. Basic reality leaves us to compare in most of the choices that we make ,  
Problem is we choose the things appealing to our eyes and leave the the rest alone  
Perfect point to understand the worth of a gem, some cut and polished and shine like the sun but once touched by the hands of man the worth of the gem is less valuable in comparison to the love we find the value of a beaten soul that's been torn and hurt by another, when you see her bruised face you pass her by for she wasn't appealing to your eyes.
Have you ever inquired the behind the scenes of a gem at the glance of it when it's dug from the ground, beneath the dirt and mud tossed and turned and beaten by mother nature and her wrath, it's initial find much like the passing of the bruised , is tainted by this world we live , ever wondered in your closed mind the true value of it's worth   go beyond what appeals at your first glance , wipe the Earths  **** from the gem and shine it up now do the same for the person you passed that another person abused, take them in let their bruises heal get to know their true worth, for the next time you walk about on a life journey in search of a gem or true love , don't pick the ones that are so appealing to your eyes , dig through the rubbel or see through the bruises and there my friend is the finest most expensive beauty of a gem and the true love your in search of  to spend the rest of your life with.  Beauty is only skin deep but knowing what's beyond the skin and outer core of appeal is the find I would treasure much more than the fakeness of the appeal
©kimmied1105