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  Oct 2015 Neex
phalaenopsis
sometimes,
when the tiny lightbulb in me,
flickers on.

i dream of love,
i dream of friendship,
i dream of trust,
i dream of all the good things,
i don't seem to
have.

and,
when that lightbulb,
begins to dim,
your face flashes,
in my mind.

it's not beautiful,
it's not spectacular but
there's something
about it.

i'm attracted to
your light.
undeniably so,
i think your soul
is so attractive.

more than anything.

but,
once that light in me,
switches off.

the feelings die.
and i forget
who you are.
Neex Sep 2015
To have your hopes smothered,
Stuck in this ****** isolation,
I see no light.

I might never recover,
Never thought I’d get this far,
Deep in this retched sea,
And I might never learn to swim.

Whatever confidence I had left,
Is fading with myself.

My self-esteem,
It’s non-existent,
My heart and happiness as well.

I’m hurting deeply,
Fading quickly,
Living fatally,
Faking emotions,
Drowning painfully,
Hanging on,
**To nothing.
I don't understand anything anymore.
Neex Sep 2015
You're my right hand,
You're my go to,
Told me everything about you,
That's a bold move,
I know that you're out there,
And there's things you've gotta go through,
Just know that these streets,
They don't love you like I do.
Getting my words from the music again, this is one song by Drake I actually listen to regularly.
Neex Sep 2015
Been drowning in this sea of depression,
And losing you only made it deeper.
I don't know how to make it stop,
I need you.
Neex Sep 2015
I watched that movie,
And made a silent prayer,
That that'd be me someday.

Getting old,
Making fun of an amazing man's hair,
Joking around,
'Cause having kids couldn't change us.
I have no idea what movie it was. Did I mention, I'm back home after 3 weeks of traveling and I feel so different, like so much has, changed.
Neex Sep 2015
It took more hurt,
But I get it now.

How could I be so stupid,
To let them take my hurt,
And make it about them,
*Just to get out of their own guilt.
And I fell for it,
Every time.
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