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Josiah Archuleta Feb 2018
What did I do to make it go bad?
I'm so lonely, no one to call "my girl"
I shouldve held on tighter
I shouldve never let you go
I was stupid i was foolish.
When you left I lost a part of me
Who's ganna take your place?
I guess, this ain't love anymore
All I feel is pain
Josiah Archuleta Oct 2018
Just remember I've been there beside you
It hurts that you say this love is the last time
This one thing is getting in the way
This something is causing us to break
Tell me, how its going to end?
Theres now a line between us
Our love is at stake
Desperate I'll crawl
Waiting for it to come
I'll die for her
Because she's the one
What are we gonna become?
Josiah Archuleta Sep 2018
I can see were making distance
A starting of this dissolution
Seek me, for comfort
Call me, for solace
Seek me, for this reconstruction
Remember I'll be waiting
To put an end to my breaking heart
Josiah Archuleta Feb 2018
I know I'm not the strongest
But we can't break up, this is wrong
We've been bounded for so long
Yet I think we need something stronger
I can't keep my heart together any longer
These binds are suffocating me
Wrapped around my heart
I don't want to flee
But I watch you walk out
I watch you leave
Boo
Josiah Archuleta Oct 2018
Boo
Theres always that one person who will always have your heart
I know your the one for me
Its clear from the very start
It started when we were younger
We didn't know what love was at that time
Now I'm here dreaming that you would be mine
That one moment I knew who I wanted to be with
I know we aren't going to see each other for awhile
But you will always be my boo
Josiah Archuleta Aug 2018
I can't show my pain
I don't want to lose everything
I just want to feel again
My heart would burst for you
Only if that would make things right
I don't feel anything
This huge pain you bring
Starting over doesn't look so bad this time
Emotions still touch me
Josiah Archuleta Jun 2018
I know you know me very well
Shoot, I don't even know much about myself
I always thought I wouldn't be with anyone else
I'd always call but you'd never answer
Then I think about our times with all the laughter
It would always numb my pain
Your stressing me out
Your killing me
I'm on the bed, screaming
I love it yet I hate it
Some nights I can't just take it
Although my friends demand me to get you out my mind
They don't even know how hard, how much I tried
You stress me out, you **** me
You pretty much ****** me up
I don't think you'll know about all the **** your putting me through
I don't know how to make it stop
My mind just keeps on coming back to you
Josiah Archuleta Mar 2018
I scream, I've been conquered from within
They're consuming everything
It's nothing but shame and failure
I don't know what to do, save me
I cannot call out Ive been stricken, traitor
Theres a light I can see
I must crawl, I cannot start later
We will not be lost
We'll count the cost
We will stay connected
Were heading in strong
We won't be wrong
We cannot be separated
Lets take all this doubt
Lets cast it out
We are going stay connected
Josiah Archuleta Apr 2018
Luck is lost in my life
The only will to live has died
I failed
Nothing more matters to me
All hope is finally gone
I've failed......I've failed so hard
Now I cross the gates of the graveyard
Directed by the grey funeral fog
I follow the mournful congregation
The rain begins
The rain out of my eyes
Drowned in a million tears
A hole with a casket
Slowly filled with the miry soil
Tortured by the loss
All these memories
My head explodes
All I gave
All I gave for YOU
All I've done
All I said
I said for YOU
You are the one I will miss forever
Your feelings have died
Nothing holds me alive now
Not any more
Josiah Archuleta Sep 2018
I've been hiding being these empty smiles
Imprisoned in my own mind
This anguish
Stop me before I bleed
The echoes of her voice
The memories I cast
Follow me down
There must be serenity
While still descending
To the demons of my own design
Josiah Archuleta Sep 2018
Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I wish on a star that somewhere you are
Thinking of me too
'Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
'Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me
Wonder if you ever see me (see me)
And I wonder if you know I'm there (am I there? Am I?)
If you looked in my eyes, would you see what's inside?
Would you even care?
I just wanna hold you close, but so far
All I have are dreams of you
So I wait for the day and the courage to say
How much I love you, yes I do!
I'll be dreaming of you tonight
'Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me
Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe that you came up to me
And said, "I love you"
I love you too!
Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
'Till tomorrow and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming with you endlessly
With you tonight
And there's nowhere in the world where I'd rather be
Than here in my room, I'll be dreaming
With you tonight
I do not own this. This is a song by Selena Quintanilla.
Josiah Archuleta Feb 2018
My day just started fading
It started beating me down
The scary thoughts that I'm thinking
Its pushing me
I try to run away
I begin to pray for it to go away
Its falling away from me
Lifes falling away from me
Josiah Archuleta Feb 2018
This place inside my mind
A place where I can't to hide
This pain inside my brain
Not a normal type of pain
I can always say it will be better tomorrow
They're screaming all around
Its beating me down, into the ground
Life is always messing with me
Help me, set me free
I flirt with suicide because it kills the pain
Josiah Archuleta Aug 2018
You don't know how bad I'm suffering
I have to tell you this
Your goodbye was so hard
I was looking for you
Crying out in the streets
This is killing me quickly
It's just that without you
I can't be happy
Living without you, I can't do it anymore
So I came to tell you how I feel
I'm suffering from the loneliness
Your parents didn't even approve
All that I've done for you
All that matters to me is in your heart
I promised you that our love is forever
And now another man gives you warmth when you're cold at night
I know he seems better to you
But I'm in your heart, and I know
So I'm asking for forgiveness
Josiah Archuleta Jul 2018
I'm clearly broken
My friends don't know what to do
None of my broken pieces fit
It's creeping out
Coming to get me
Things are looking grim
Holding on, I'm still breathing
Peace is gold through this pain
Hiding this grim behind the grin
Tortured by the memories I've left behind
Josiah Archuleta Feb 2018
My days grow somber quickly
The quiet is haunting me
I've been so lonely.
You thrown me aside
Again
I won't let you hurt me agin
I'm nothing to you as I can see
You've just walked away from me
I'm torn apart I can't believe.
She was the one that I believed
The one I needed to hold
I don't know what to do
When I feel so lonely
How would you think I would feel?
How could you do this to me?
Josiah Archuleta Sep 2018
I don't think I can't explain this love
Its just complicated
Everything you say
Everything you do
No-one can make me feel like you do
This love cant be bad
Because it feels good
I can't explain it though
I love the pain

"I want you forever, even when were not together"- Camila Cabello Bad Things
Sorry about how my poetry goes up and down, to depressed and all "lovey-dovey." Stuff is just going on and like it just pops in my head to write about it.
Josiah Archuleta Apr 2018
I dress myself in black
So my darkness last
I flee the light but without the sun
Your view of me would be gone
I can see my damage
I try to be benign
I'm just a broken miracle now
I don' feel like I am real
But I know its all imaginary
Are they real?
And do they feel?
Is all the pain just inside my head?
Its all inside my head
They're all inside my head
I see them always but their inside my head
You see me now
Don't cry when I'm gone
I see my opportunity
But they won't let me get away
They're all inside my head
Josiah Archuleta Mar 2018
There's an evil feeling, ready to attack
My body's shaking, theres no turning back
Don't blame me, my world is turning black
Your in my head
Your in my heart
You were told to run away
Turn your back, I feel the pain
I was told to stay away
Those two words I can't obey
My heart is shredding as we say goodbye
I've been left crying and screaming your name
They keep telling me to stay away
You can't leave, I feel the pain
Josiah Archuleta Nov 2018
I see her in my dreams
I wish she wasn't there
But she still haunts me inside
With every though that fills
I feel sick with lies
Still I fell her, love her
I don't know how to tell her goodbye
I wish I was free of this
Josiah Archuleta Feb 2018
I'm lost
I don't know the time
I see her but she ain't mine
The evilness is changing my mind
Endless ways of getting out this life
You can't save me
You've already broke me
You can't change me
I'm sitting here in the dark
Going through my life
I'm just trying to survive
There's writings on the wall
I'm barley able to crawl
I want to say goodbye to my life
But I'm not strong enough to grab that knife
This is a sign, so there I lie
I guess I'm not ready to die
Josiah Archuleta Nov 2018
I know what you are
You're the last thing I see as my lungs fill
You're the last breath I breathe
I loved you
But that feeling goes away
There is no good in this goodbye
I don't want to love again
Your promise was in vain
I lived every single day just to keep my promises
I can't hide these scars
I'm back on Hello Poetry :D
Josiah Archuleta Apr 2018
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying, Goodbye

You'll stay in my heart
But you going out of my life

Love hurts
Fall off of a bridge
It hurts less

My depression is just lots love
Compressed in a glass ball...waiting to be caught
But overtime I try to throw it to someone
They flinch and it breaks on the ground
Josiah Archuleta Mar 2018
I see the pain in the eyes
I see the love in disguise
I see pain within the pride
I see that they're not satisfied
I see the truth which seem like lies
I see the guilt beneath the shame
I see the scars that remain
I see the frustration behind the fame
I see the shame underneath your name
I can see the fear reflecting off of every tear
I can see the mirror on the wall
I see myself
Josiah Archuleta Apr 2019
Thinking of her
All the good memories
Cannot talk to her
Here comes the bad memories
She takes it away
But she isn't here today
Cannot think strait
She is the one I need to keep me safe
I'm not clingy
But there is a time where you need that one
To help your heart get out of the wrong
Josiah Archuleta Apr 2018
How did you think I would feel
Throw me aside again
How did you think I would feel
I won't let you hurt me again now
I'm nothing to you I can see
Just walk away from me
I'm torn apart I can't believe
You'd stand and watch me bleed
She was the one thing I believed
That I needed to hold
Still I can smell her hear her breath
Feel her body beside me
How long I've waited for you
To come back to hold me
What should I do?
When I feel so lonely
How could you do this to me
Betrayed by my closest friend
How could you do this to me
I won't let you hurt me again now
I'm nothing to you I can see
Josiah Archuleta Mar 2018
I have nobody to call my own
She was the one girl who stayed on my side
I'm trying to figure out what I did wrong
Ever since you left me
My life came crashing
Out of all them problems you stuck up
Still by my side
When my heart broke, I've been lonely
I can't believe you just walked about my life
There ain't nobody I'd rather see
There ain't nobody I'd rather be
You kept me happy
I just want to work it out
Nothing will be fixed
No matter how loud I shout
Now that your gone I have no reason
No reason to walk about
Josiah Archuleta May 2018
Do you remember what we use to have
As if all our dreams were possible
All that existed was you and I
But distance torn us apart
Forgive me for all that I done wrong
Lead me back to where my heart belongs
Go back in time to where we started
What we have can't be discarded
Forever you made my day
I know that you doubt my words
I swear there will never be regret
We thought love was everlasting
What we had just can't be wasted
Silent thoughts were broken
And words that can't be taken back
But you mean so much more to me
Than anything I've ever known
I have hope for you tomorrow
That today you will return
Can we start again?
Go back in time to where we started
Josiah Archuleta Aug 2018
Going through with no energy
I have no emotions
My pills form me
Sometimes I smile
Doesn't mean I'm happy
Sometimes I smile
Doesn't mean I'm not crying
I legit feel like nothing
Just a robot doing human things
Going day by day with a low battery
Just winging it
Not really caring
But somehow I'm getting through
Josiah Archuleta May 2018
My brother, you love her
But don't give up on what you think
She'll be gone as fast as you can blink
She'll ****** you
She'll hurt you
She'll dry you as quick she can
She'll make you think like your no man
Oh my God
How can you deny your flood?
Thats flowing through you
You're saying she's all you desire
But she's not the water for your fire
Save yourself
She's nothing but bad for your health
Don't deny your flood
There is no need to spill your blood
This is to help anyone struggling with a female lover, to help get over or to make a decision
Josiah Archuleta Aug 2018
I am the virus
How can I be blind to these warnings
No one is coming to save me
I can't save myself
I've been walking down a path to my own destruction
I am just a walking problem
This virus will haunt
It will take everything from me
I've been silent, still being torn apart
I'm just so sick an tired of here waiting
It's time to save myself
Josiah Archuleta Sep 2018
I know he doesn't love you like I can
I promise I'll be there everyday
I'm going to love you until I die
Forget about your ex
He don't know what love is
He keeps you up, crying all night
Your just so sweet, so **** and just so fine
You can start over
You can be mine
Theres no need to stress you
Take time from my job to love you
I'll always be there to wipe them tears from your eyes
I can be your superman
Josiah Archuleta Feb 2018
Happiness, sadness two very different things.
One stays and one goes.
They work together, if its good or bad.
They'll hunt you like a lion.
Happiness strikes first, bringing the smile.
Sadness springs from the grass, making you cry for awhile.
Yet they're so different they help one another.
Josiah Archuleta Apr 2018
I'm still holding on
These thoughts make my brain tick like a bomb
Deaths coming to get me
These sweet yet bitter words
I sing along to them like a mocking bird
I look so strong
But yet so delicate
I'm coming undone
These words are beginning to suffocate
I thought my demons were my friends
Now they're coming to get me
The tigger is between my eyes
I'm coming undone
It's too late
I look so strong yet so delicate
I'm trying to hold it together
But its not getting better
Josiah Archuleta Sep 2018
This feeling is hurting me
My relationship with her
My relationship with myself
When the line goes strait
When I need to take some time and wait
My heart will pound
Every time she comes around
I can't think straight
So here I wait
Going back into my darkness state
Josiah Archuleta Oct 2018
I remember this feeling but it didn't hurt like this before
I'm missing you, please come back through that door
Why did you have to go
Im crying here all alone
You could've stayed, gave me another chance
But I'll wait for you
I don't know what else I can do
I'll wait for you
Even if its the last thing I'll do
If you think I'm fine, baby thats nowhere near true
I really need you in my life
You got me feeling crazy
What do I have to do to make you come back?
Can we please just start over again?
I'll learn how to love you right
I'll just be here and wait for you
I love you ;-* :-D
Josiah Archuleta Feb 2018
Silent I lay
I hear the whispers in the air
The violence in their words
Like slashes they wound deeply
The sun is about to set, preparing for the pain
The whispers haunting, why was I chosen?
These whispers are poison
They flow through my veins
I'm lost inside them
I'm not free of them
They're all lies
Their words mean nothing
I will not believe
I will not prevail

— The End —