I'm ripping myself apart again,
as the wind continues to call my name.
Its presence subdues me
Maybe I can be myself again?
But then I realize,
There is no self
Only hollow grounds
And I play catch in the hole.
I'd rather something pull me up
But there is no such grasp.
My love bids farewell,
As I shed inner tears.
I know it to be temporary.
Nothing lasts forever
And nothing really matters.
As if the pain could overcome my numbness,
I most likely wanted this.
My love, my ache, my other regret.
If I was dead before,
I am still so now.
At least this painful void is gone,
And you helped me set it free.
I thank you again for the remembrance
And I hope this all makes sense.
But my place remains the same
Where do I go from here?

Faded eye
Numb skull
Empty veins
Uncontrollable blow

It rolls inside itself
Then swallows itself whole

Wallowing inner ache

Can't see
Only looking

It falls within
It's numb

I have no place left to see
What could have been
My life held within

I can not see
No longer me

Everything fades
Farewell my dismay

It squeezes my head...

I'm pulled aside,
I'm left alone,
I'm left with company.
It squeezes my head.

No other place left to go,
nothing else left to see.
It squeezes my head.

Nothing else left to say,
no one else left to talk to.
It squeezes my head.

If it could hear me,
I'd say it's squeezing my head.

It wouldn't matter though...
It'll continue squeezing my head.

Sanctuary



   I declare my void sanctuary. Its rhythm makes me fall, its vibrations make me crawl. As I sit on a stone, I gradually become a statue. The plastic melting in the fire, I'll soon become toxic fumes. Sometimes the fire sparks anew, a breath of mine that remains a clue. Is the aftermath a blessing or did poison strike my veins?  The venom, singing its purple sound inside my ears. I inhale enlightenment through pain, as if that's who I'm supposed to be. Please bring clarification, please bring a sign. I'm tired of being confused, this yin-yang abuse. As if the light were a monastery, then my void will be sanctuary. This clueless victim always knew his journey, his mistakes. The acknowledgment came far too late though, so refuge took hold of my chest. My chest is now void.  



                                      Jealousy's rhythm    

  

Jealousy is the song of insecurities; I sing his masculine tune. The fever can't be sweated out, the anger won't subside. I thought this was made by you, but my thoughts portray just me. Clearly my aura remains damaged or I'm just plain stupid. A gullible fool filled with fiction and paranoia. They make for a good writer, yet an alcoholic at that. Recognition became an empty shell; there's no pearl inside, just a buffoon. I am swayed by malevolence, you are benevolence. I searched for an angel, yet I became a demon. When the clouds disperse and the rain dries up, will you walk this sunny day with me? Will you stay? I see another storm coming, at least today we played.



                                              Lovesick

  

   Insects crawling up a wall, getting squished when approached. No thought about it. Just fear, just anger. A fever crawls up the body, crashing and failing the immune system. A weak body makes for a good recipe of sickness, his guts spewing out of him of course. You can't contain the virus; you can not contain the beast. His morals set him apart from man, but man lacks true judgement. Who are the real beasts? Men being swayed or a man abiding his own morals? Cast away the negative aspects of self, build on the empire of light and goodness. Just when I thought I could keep a strong will, I decayed in my own sickness. I am lovesick.

June 2013

Do I sense them flying all around?
Just a possible outcome
of neurons criss crossing
into paranoia.

How do I transmit these frequencies?
If not I, then why you?
Each proportional stance,
attempting to make an advancement.

Sounds more like daydreaming,
but you hear me in your head,
Right?
Poke. Poke. Poke it goes.

Invisibility makes its stance.
The body can wither,
but thought
Now
Are outside and
Non physical

Forgive me..
I lost my train of thought.