Hello Daisies: Poems

97 · Apr 2020

Sister

Hello Daisies Apr 2020

Sister

You are a rose
Sweet yet sharp
You are a boulder
Strong yet unappreciated

Like a bird learning to fly
Pushed down without help
You arise Everytime

A mother saving her kids
From the hungry beasts
Preying upon your cave
You fight and always win

You are a warrior
Lovely, pure, and brave

You give more joy then
Saint Nick himself
For you are more kind
More caring and strong
Then any human can hope to be

You're my sister
And I thank God for making you so
❤️

#love

97 · Jun 2020

My season

Hello Daisies Jun 2020

My season

The brisk breeze through your hair
The clouds barely covering the moon
The colors that warm your soul
Autumn has always made me feel whole

I always say the best things happen
When the leaves fall down
I'm at my happiest
When the ghost run around

Just so happens that I found a connection
In my costume gown
You gave me a coat
I slept in it all night
It took away my fright

From that moment on
I felt something special
I enjoyed talking with you
Kinda scared to let it go through

As October passed and winter came
The snow fell down another day
Another true bliss of mine
To be covered in snow that shines

As I played as I smiled
I looked upon the stars
I felt warm inside yet Cold outside
There was your home to keep me alright

I thought maybe it's silly
Silly to believe in the seasons
Crazy to think the stars have reasons
But I truly did believe in

The hope that they bring me
The warmth of their brisk mornings
And their crisp nights
I knew I'd find something just right

I can't speak the words
But I can write them
And what my pen is trying to say is
I love you, and the warmth you bring me
Is even greater then
The lovely bliss of autumn
Or even the soft hope of winter

Thank you for being
Just like the autumn leaves
And falling for me

❤️

#love #romance #autumn #winter #happy

96 · Mar 2019

World

Hello Daisies Mar 2019

World

Hello there world
I wake up to you
Everyday

Soemtimes my dreams
Get in the way
This bed i want to stay

I awake and head off
Let come what may
Keep denying im afraid

won't let my body fall
Or sway
The world keeos going day to day

Im miserable
Im sad
Im beaten down
It's getting bad

Yet i must keep going
I don't know why
Every second i start to cry

I guess I'm still holding on
To some hidden hope
That I'll wake up
Smiling without lying
Before i say goodbye to this world

ayo

95 · Jun 2022

Flooding

Hello Daisies Jun 2022

Flooding

How come I only feel alive when I'm losing my mind
How come the flashes from history
Bring back so much misery
But the memories of love
Bring more tears from above
The heavens aren't real
Just raindrops
And pretending to feel
My guilt is real
For what I do not know
My memories are a circus
A short circuit
Ready to stroke
Lighting and electrocution
But never the fun colorful
Kind
Only the pain and deadly
Mind

I'm losing my mind
Perhaps lost it long ago
I used to feel some hope
Now I know none
Miss all the fun
The pain has only just begun
Once I feel a little
A waterfall of all
Comes bursting through
Every five ******* minutes

I've lost it
I'm crashing down
I want my memories to stay calm
Ride the boat through
Stop crashing into rocks
And falling
Sinking
And drowning
Every **** day

I just want to play
And be loved
Remember my past
And not want to crash

Why can't I

94 · Apr 2019

Race

Hello Daisies Apr 2019

Race

Blood rush
From my heart
To my face
Like running a race

People i pass
Fast like a blur
Some faces i notice longer
Some make me somber

I try to hold it all in
Running down this track
I went a different way
At times i start to sway

I want to fall over
This race is nonsense
My face is dripping sweat
I'm beginning to fret

People boo me from afar
It makes me go slower
Some cheer me on
Helps me struggle along

Is this race worth winning
Or do i simply want reach the end
It's going by so fast
I'm afraid I'll come in last

94 · Jan 7

Hopeless

Hello Daisies Jan 7

Hopeless

When your tears feel like blood
Falling down your face
Burning in place
When your heart feels like
Pain
aching every beat
Breaking
Faking
Shaking

When you can't remember
Why you're alive
Why you would want to be
Everything is gloomy
Everything is nothing

When the snow falls and it's magical
Then melts the next day
Grey sludge
Gross and out of place

When you beg for someone
To be your friend
Someone to let you play pretend
Let you laugh
Let you know it'll be ok
Let you feel for once
What you used to on a lovely autumn day

I'm alone
I'm always so alone
I'm sick
Chronically
Mentally
Unforgivablely
Who did I hurt
To deserve this

I can't even pretend anymore
Life can be better
People care
People love me
No,
I'm alone
I'm *****
I'm pathetic
And weak
I'm almost thirty

My life is empty
I'm barren
I'm godless
I'm hopeless
And diseased

I beg for you again
Please, won't you be my friend
Look at me
Oh God please
Don't look at me
I'm weak
I'm so weak
I'm begging
I can't stop begging
Why can't I heal
Why must I break
Why must I sit alone
And bleed
From my face
Everyday
Alone
In every way
No laughter
No joy
No dancing
Just
Destroyed

My life is a hospital bed
I'm the disease
Everyone else is lead
I'm poisoned by them
But I want more
I lay not on the bed
But the floor
Put the medication in my IV
save me
Oh I beg so deeply
Save me from this life
I want to die
I wish to live
What more can I ******* give

The doctors never listen
They only demand
Money money
Then let you know firsthand
You don't matter
You are nothing
Shut up and go away

And so I listened
And I stayed
In my hell
Where the snow
Only last but a day

I'm so tired of living life just to go to another doctors appointment or have another surgery

#sad #chronic #ptsd #emotional #depression #sick #doctors

93 · May 2020

Melt away

Hello Daisies May 2020

Melt away

I can't find the words to write
To make this pain sound beautiful
It just ******* *****
I haven't moved from my bed
I'm already half dead
Crying until I'm shaking
I'm sweating and sick
And I just want to touch you
But then I'll puke
From my hurting heart

You ******* ****
How could you hurt
Such a sweet little heart
I just wanted to give you my all
And you broke me to the ground
But you're sorry
You're my friend right
Why does my chest feel so tight
I can't make any sense right

Lost all my friends
*** you're all I can say
You're my whole day
Burning inside my brain
Tearing open every wound
I've stopped crying today
Not because it doesn't hurt
But because I needed a break

I told you we were okay
We would go back to normal
What else could I ******* say
Being without you was unbearable
Being with you is just as terrible
Your words circle through me
Constantly they jab me
Every spasm I endure
Is just another reason
To beg for more

I lay here awake
Not much more to say
I'm gonna brake
And accept you're not for me
I can't escape this
The loneliness
It's with me
It never leaves
You on the other hand
Surely will always leave
It's what's meant to be

I think
Oh I know
I'm going to cry again
I wish you could feel my pain
And melt the **** away

Sigh

#heartbreak #pain #love #sad #hurt #lost #depressed

92 · Dec 2018

Swing

Hello Daisies Dec 2018

Swing

Swing sweet child
Glisten in the sun
Laughter echoes
Darkness glooms

Swing faster child
Clouds form above
Ominous air releases
Rain strikes down

Hold tight sweetie
Childrens tears drop
Abadoned swings stop
Dirt soars over

Swing higher darling
Worried mothers scream
Chills pierce skin
Footprints fast away

Never stop

Ok I'll go get some rest now and try to calm down my mind

#darkyouthstreesfearanxietydepressionlostdarknessfailingsymbalism

91 · Feb 2020

When

Hello Daisies Feb 2020

When

Maybe it's wrong to say
I'm empty
Truth is I'm feeling
Everytime I hear a song
I want to cry
My heart shakes
But

I'm unsure
If I'm sad
Or I'm okay
Maybe I'm missing someone
Maybe I'm in love
Maybe I'm tortured
But Why

Can't I tell
What the **** I'm feeling
Or if I'm even feeling
Where am I going
I just don't know
Am I

Chasing the stars
I used to look above
I felt the hope
But now
I feel scared
Like I'm dying soon
When

Will I feel secure
Feel at home
Feel happy
Feel sure
That I'm wanted
And loved

When will I be
Who I'm supposed to be
Please

#lost #life #sad #confused

83 · Apr 2019

Fear of joy

Hello Daisies Apr 2019

Fear of joy

I've been through hell
I've been laughed at
Mocked and rejected
Living in darkness

Been through it all
No rise only fall
Been homeless
Starved nearly to death

Starved of light
Starved of anything bright
So i stopped and asked myself
Why am i so scared
I've gotten out fair

Every rejection
Every horrifying disturbance
Every pain
Every hurt

I've gotten back up
Walked away from bad luck
Yet my heart fears
I think i realized behind my tears

I'm afriad to be happy
I'm afraid of anything good
Someone compliments me
And i run away

I rather be insulted
I rather be rejected
I rather be beaten
And bruised

I don't understand
Kindness or a helping hand
What are your intentions
Something evil i dare not mention?

If i feel happy that's not good
If i feel joy I'm sinning
And death and gloom will come
Grinning

81 · Jan 7

Curing the deepest wound

Hello Daisies Jan 7

Curing the deepest wound

Closure
Peace
Reconnecting
And falling apart

It's all part of the art
The chess game
The mess
Apart of stress

I digress
I see now
I believe now
No going back this time
I can not be your best friend
It's truly the end

Three years I died
Three years I cried
I kept lying to myself
I'm fine
I'm not dying
I'm done crying
I hate you
I hate us
It was never enough

You were a true love
We looked at the stars above
We were shining stars
Glowing and radiant
We burned out
Exploding and permanent

I see now
I think I really do
You're apology
It was true
But you are still
You

I can move on now
I miss us
I really do
But moving on
Doesn't mean it'll stop
It just means understanding
Why it had to stop
It still hurts
But not as much

Thank you for your apology
Thank you for seeing me
For missing me
Thank you for the time spent
The magic lent
Everyday with you
Was beautiful
Sparkling and flying
It ended with crying
But we're no longer dying

I see it now
I really do
You are you
It's something I can't undo
You are selfish
You are an addict
You make bad choices
But mean no bad behind it

It's who you are
And this is who I am
When I was around you
It's all you would do
You hurt me
But you never meant to
It's who you are

You didn't say this
You probably don't know it
But it's who you are
You are selfish
You are reckless
And I don't think it'll ever change

We can't be friends
But it hurts less
It hurts less
It really does
I hugged you one last time
Or maybe not
But for now
It's what we've got

A better goodbye
Then three years ago
It didn't end in tears
Or fears
Just friendly talk about the years
You said let's hang out
Then never called again
It's how you are
I know how you think
Dear old friend

So you do you.
And I'll do me
I'll never hate you
And you'll always miss me
Our souls still connected in destiny
But apart for all we can see
It's okay
I know it is now
So you go ahead and leave town
And I'll keep you around
In my heart
Right where you
Belong

Actually a week after I wrote this i saw them again and we laughed and cried and reminisced. I'm not sure what to do with this but it's nice to heal

#friendship #love #heartache #forgiveness #confused

63 · Jan 2020

Feel

Hello Daisies Jan 2020

Feel

I'm scared to feel
I'm scared of anything real
The days are dark
The nights are cold

I want to cry
But you find me
And place me in your arms
To hold

When I run away
When I feel ignored
You smile at me
You notice me
Suddenly I forget
The others that hurt me

I'm scared
You'll grow bored of me
I've never showed my real self
To anybody
You seem to like me
That's Insanity

You say I'm you're only friend
That's really sweet
But I feel more
When I'm laying next to you
Breathing you in

Sometimes I forget
The deep pain I bare
When we're goofing off
I can't help but stare
All i think about I you
And never my old sins

What I'm saying is
I think I really like you
Maybe deeper then anything before
But I can never admit this
I'm terrified of this feeling
And I'm still unsure

If you'd feel the same

— The End —