Arriving in a lonely dark room
In which my misery loom
Unpacking a suitcase of doubt
No windows nor any way out
I take off the coat that protects me
It was made of your laughter and glee
Now I settle atop of this bed
Supported by things that I dread
I took the path that lead me here
For love and joy was all that I fear
I will forever live in a room full of sad
When I ran away from the good that I had

i feel the water pulling me down
drowning drowning in the lack of sound
i can see the moonlight shimmer
reflecting the weight of his voice’s timbre
i smile the water gushing between my teeth
never again will  i have to hear him speak
I see the halls and the turrets of the father
finding me finding me other places to wander
i see him talking to a crown of stone
the teeth eyes and lips mine alone
Pulling me down in the lack of sound
as in my love i start to drown

i can't make you love me
and it pains me to admit
no matter how many times
i pleasure you
or touch you
it couldn't possibly help
i despise how obvious it is
that i am constantly savoring
your every kiss
memorizing your lips
and how they fit mine
just right
gazing into your eyes
until everything turns hazel
stroking your rough skin
and learning the landmarks
of your exterior surface
please just stay prisoner
in my bed
just wish i could look into
your mind
to know what you truly think
of me
and us
but how can i expect you
to love me
when i can't even
love myself