Walking back home along the rim of the galaxy, the colours rip her body into an abyss, and her whole entirety spills from her guts.

The fears and terror that dare not haunt the day,

well, the brass of city lights taunt them to play

yet as the door shuts, the dread will always shrink away.

Slip out of your resplendence and  magnificence

and break yourself into my suffocating skin
walk around, feel the demon eyes
carving out your back
searching for your heart
to crunch it in their pretty teeth

look through these tired eyes
let them rest on everything you’ve never seen before
heavy darkness choking this illuminated world
you don’t know what to do
because you feel like the world’s just going to go on
dragging your carcass along

sleep walking while everyone’s dancing
on your body, on your grave
because they don’t know that you’re dead

you’re okay, don’t worry
tell everyone that because
you’re hiding nothing
you’re happy on the inside too

but you know no one’s okay
because the truth can’t help us
until you’re paying money
for people to just listen

you’re trying to break out
because you hate being me
tear off your mind and throw it away
you don’t care if you can’t find it later

watch them move and follow them
because they don’t like how you do it
they’re doing it the right way
walk in their line, wait for nothing
have their praises as appetizers
and gag at their curses like aftertaste

and you’re not them, not like them
but you’re just like them
because everyone cries when they’re alone
and no one’s ever okay unless they try hard
and force it into their souls

wanna throw myself away
so someone can come and fix me

because i broke myself trying
trying to transform into you
fitting squares into little round holes
and breaking the whole to make it hold it

you’re tired.
you’ve had enough.
push yourself out
slip back into your own skin
fit your own head back on

and you still won’t  know me.

If this is your way
of subtly pushing me away,
You will brutally learn
that loyalty has a limit
and I won't stay.*


Some people need to learn
*when to stop pushing my buttons.

In the dark,
I start to dwell
on possible remedies
as I soak
this permanent ache
in melodies,
with my head resting
in a "safe" place,
on a pillow case.

I cry,
and I try to heal your pain
only to be pushed away,
and I try to say that
I am here, I'll be here
only to not be believed,
but at every call,
at every "I need you,"
I leap as if electricity
has been shot in my veins,
this you do not know;
I wish I never cared again.

- Crimsyy♡


*Cries an ocean