in love,
I was never
afraid of falling

I was only afraid
of the moment
when my body
hits the ground

"I don't want this"
The four words that shattered my heart, ripped through my skin and was pierced into my brain.
" I don't want this"
those words spin in my head over and over again while I break down and cry into my pillow so no one will hear my sorrows.
" I don't want this"
Well I wish you did, because I want this.
I want us.
i'd fight wars, climb mountains, swim rivers,
to be with you again.
But would you do the same for me?
Am I even worth it?
I was broken before you met me,
I was lost but than you found me,
I had my flaws but you still loved me.
"I don't want this"
I will forever love you,
but now when you hold me,
I will always hear this.

Eyes open to a grey sky
Do you know what it means to be alive?
Have you seen the whole as one
The one as whole?
Have you tried?

I have
Not once
Twice or more
Everyday I quieten scorn
Bourne from my insides

Bile passes through
The alchemical magic
Loving logic sublime
Where essence resides

Project it as far as it carries
Spray forth an aesthetic
In hope of a loving matrimony
Between those who witness the rainbow

With these wise seeds sown
Turn to esteem and realise
What is seen resembles not thyself
As I see myself

We decide our memories, see
You and me are the product of galaxy
But if the universe chooses
We’ll be a whimsical fallacy
With many thanks
To a change of
Plan

It is the one with longest memory
Who chooses how things pan;
How existence is a buffer
For the one who owns the span

The one who does not retreat
Into the shadows of the moonlight
Packing their things
To the sound of the beckoning

Here lies life long lesson:
Sing with mothers' patience
Speak your truth
With father's cadence

To forgive is but to suffer
Yet to love
We become
One another

One thousand times I say your name
One thousand minds has essence changed
One thousand miles we are away
One thousand leaps that my heart makes

Every time we touch through the aether
Each time I relate to you so much deeper
Every time and time again I try
Each and every time to find

One hundred reasons to decline the calling
One hundred voices beg choice for remorse
One hundred lessons will I learn before
One hundred blessings be branded yours

In time this reeling feeling of what was had
In time you will descend from mind to hand
In time the scent of what was known
In time shall rest upon life's blissful throne

Ten times I behold the beauty
Ten times will I be bold before
Ten times this cold I shake from my crown
Ten times more will your name resound

Time is fickle
Time is taught
Time will settle
Time is short

One mind
One heart
One life
One chance

Nothing
But time
Is all we ever have
To love is to know
That which time
Under stands

My mind is searching for you, while your memories are trying to find me.

As I looked at the ring you gave me last year I noticed all the marks and scratches on it.
From memories we had together, good and bad.
I know yours has them too.

I still remember the day you gave it to me and how happy I was then. But now it's  just a piece of silver.

I wore it with pride, now it was for the last time.
Sitting by the ocean and I didn't feel it anymore. I didn't feel connected to you.
It was just sad memories tied to that ring left.
I was sitting there, thinking, remembering, listening to our song one last time and then I threw it.

Into the water. Never to see it again.
Closure, a goodbye, to the one I once was, to you, to the ones we were back then.

A sense of yearning moves her...
It was deep...excruciating.
That even flowers weep,
as she calls to him.
Still, unheard...unanswered.