(read forward, then backward, line by line)

I ran.
Not knowing what else to do
There was so much blood on my hands
It was mine
The kitchen knife
Caught in my chest
Guilt
Consumed by
Fear
I was heightened by
Adrenaline
But running on
Wasn’t enough
While trying to stay calm,
Losing control
It was me that would end up
Dead. Because
He was
In front of me
The whole time
It was too late
Trapped
I found myself
Locked in chains
My fate was
Death.

He looks at me
What does he see?
There one second
Gone the next
Zero context
Like floaters in my eye
No need to be shy
I want to look at you
You’re nothing new
Hiding in the corners
I’m getting warmer
Meet my eyes
At least try
Mister Man I want to see you
I’ll hide in the shadows, too
You watch my every move
What do I have to prove
To let us make contact
Or are you just the abstract?

She told me she loved me,
that I've no need to fear.
I believed all the lies
that she breathed in my ear.

I pulled her in close,
closer than anyone before.
I tried not to cry
or she wouldn't love me anymore.

I couldn't hold back,
forever stalked by self-pity-
I wept, and she left.
Translucent comforts pierced through me.

She hates me now,
a bit more every day.
I've not given up yet-
I want her to stay.

Perhaps she will wish,
once I'm hanging lifeless from a tree,
that she'd loved me forever,
as I begged for it to be.

I feel I have done more
than just existed
in my life

Your outlook on life changes
when certain unexpected things happen
things that are out of one's control

When you know
nothing will be different
until the day you die

You tend to live
in the middle
wondering which
way to go

                                        By Connie Hopkins

Eye to eye then a moment of deny.
That's how we end it and how i started to die.

I am beautiful
But I will wither

They
They came into my life like a spark
I was kindling
They touched me and I ignited
They burned brightly
So brightly it was blinding
I watched their flames dance
I watched as their fire grew
It crackled and roared
Beautiful and wild
And then
Just as they came
Their spark died
Here one moment and gone the next

mania has ended
depression has begun

i feel myself
giving up
and shutting down
allowing the water to fill my lungs
so i can drown

do you feel my
heart aching
for you?

bina