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Eloi Jun 2016
Self medicate, while we sleep we let the night chase evil things away,


Burst into flames,
Scream in the dark
I'm gonna light up this place
And die in beautiful stars
Tonight
Eloi Jun 2016
Waking up is hard,
But going to sleep is harder.
We don't like to fall asleep,
But if we do,
We love to.

Not eating is hard,
But eating is harder,
We don't like to put on weight,
But if we don't mind it,
We love to.
This isn't really a poem, I know.
But it explains me very well.
Eloi Jun 2016
The walls are caving in again,
It Happens every now and then,
It's Always got me feeling like I'm ******.
Falling in and out of bed,
Sleep so I feel like I'm dead,
Trying to get a grip is kinda rough.

You say life has lost it's meaning,
And that's true if you believe it,
But someday you will stand above your demons,
You're not beneath this.
Eloi Jun 2016
I've been stuck in the middle pages,
Hung up on a cross that I created,
Built out of the bones that I've been breaking.
life's not out to get you,
Despite the things you've been through,
Because what you give is what you get,
And it doesn't matter what you do.

Sometimes things will bend you,
But trust me you'll be fine,
I've been moving mountains that I once had to climb.
  Jun 2016 Eloi
SøułSurvivør
they say
that you are lazy
a glutton and a fool
no matter how you slice the roast
people can be cruel

I have a weight problem            
have had all my life            
on the yo-yo string of failure            
folks, words cut like a knife            


perhaps you saw my avatar
I was slender as can be
but now my weight is up again
and I cannot be me

unless I show my picture                
as I am right now                
I want you to see me                
I want you to know                

I'm as pretty now my friends
as I've ever been
my weight is not an issue
and it's not due to sin

I was on some heavy meds                
Haldol and Xyprexa                
so I'm a little overweight                
I have a little extra                
              
so check out my avatar
check it out and see
I may be a "weighty matter"

but I'm still the same ol' ME!


SoulSurvivor
(C) 6/9/2016
I was put on some pretty heavy medication because of my status as a targeted individual. I had a run-in with the "Church" of Scientology. They did everything in their power to destroy my life. I am not bitter about this. My experience helped me in some respects. But the psychiatrists were very irresponsible. They put me on Xyprexa when I weighed 280 pounds.
That medication is known to promote weight gain. I ballooned up to 360 pounds.
They left me on that med for over a year. I'm not saying that I'm not totally responsible for my condition though. I should have contested these decisions the doctors made. But basically I'd given up. Because I never needed these meds I had every side effect in the book. And one of the side effects for a lot of these medications is weight gain.

I'm not letting it get me down. I'm going to a wellness camp and exercising daily. As much as I can with Stage four arthritis in both knees. The weight gain did that to me  too. My attitude is good. I just need to have prayer that I can forgive these doctors and the people who started this ball rolling in the first place. Before all this happened 20 years ago I had lost 140 pounds to be as thin as I was in the avatar that you saw on my profile a while back.

I will try to read later today. It seems every time I start reading something comes up. So be patient with me please! I do care about you all and I want to read you. Not just because I want "likes" or reads. I just love poetry!
  Jun 2016 Eloi
Stephan
.

I was going to write a poem
but I just ran out of ink
I had the stanzas lined up nice,
I know I did, I think

It said how much I loved her,
and that she had gone away
Rhymes about my broken heart,
how it was here to stay

One verse filled with crying,
those endless falling tears
While hiding neath the covers
afraid to face my fears

Another said I miss her,
my days had all turned gray
There was no sun, there was no moon,
just sadness on display

I mentioned how I need her,
life will never be the same
Saying I was sorry,
that I knew I was to blame

My entire world is empty
and I couldn’t take much more
She’d always be my every thing,
the one I would adore

I really hoped to write it,
though I know she’d never see
These feelings that I’d write about
so deep inside of me

So now I’ll just forget it,
nothing else to do, I think
Except to sit here with my pen
that’s just run out of ink
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