Now that
You are
Gone
We wish
You chose
To stay
Here

Of games
Scary games
In and out as it please
Tease
Hearing things
Making its presence near
Should we be fearful of the strength it can't
Hurt with
I feel its grip
Move along with it
Drifting into
The phantom's pull

The day after
When the tears have all come out
The nearest sting
Lingers on with the pain
of mourning
Our minds race
as we allow time
to heal the disclosure
of how you left
Letting you go on
That was your own
request
Nothing can change
what you did
the day before

In these few days
Nothing feels right
Emptiness you had felt
revealed itself that night
Our unanswered questions
Starting with no good byes
Was unclear for us to realize
That we didn't see the signs
Slowly, the truth unfolds
to the pain you had felt
It trickles into our hearts
What more could we had done

If only you had said...
yet you did...
It was so settle...
Maybe you found the answers you needed
I just wish you would of shared it
Cause here we all are now
With no answers
In this time of healing


Please know,
that we Love You
Please know,
that we all would of helped
If only you had asked

This idea had no place for me
Though,
It consumed my curiosity
Showed up all at once
I wanted you so much
getting what I’ve bitten off

That feeling
Now eats me inside

I denied all of the reasons why

My perspective wore away
I just wanted to play
The game we
Have built with this time

I
am
ready
to
change
This isn’t the way for me
Inside it warns
Like it always did before
Unable to
change
your
ways…

They are all judging me
They all see I should leave
They don’t know
That I know they are right
This isn’t the place to be

“Unsafe!” I plead to you
You grasp my hands
Not letting loose
It’s been okay
For so many years
I’ve gotten use to
This abuse

I
am
ready
to
change
This isn’t the way for me
Inside it warns
Like it always did before
I am unable to
change
my
course…

Why do I feel unsafe?
In a place where love
Is supposed to comfort me
Giving you my all
I will be there with my whole heart
Yet, I feel cold
Unsatisfied with these results
It must be my fault
For my expectations
Was not to judge
This situation we are now in

You let this behavior be okay
Because you could always get away
The freedom was there
And I was waiting for you in this box
You created for me
Making me think I was safe
Sitting alone in the dark
Waiting for your return…
You don't show up
Out there, you spoil others with your presences
I try to peak
Sotto voce pulling me into the light
Grabbing your attention
Discontinuing the thought
That I could see what you do
To me

Does it hurt to know I don’t want to be like you?
Does it hurt to know I want to be like me?

It’s okay for you to walk over me
I demanded for it
I asked you to treat me in a way
You would not want
That’s why I am here
Still, all by myself
In this box you made for me
I see a different side…
Over time and I can’t help it
But my faith to you is changing
Maybe because the faith you had
Was unfaithful and never ending
So with my changed thoughts
I address to you

Does it hurt to know I don’t want to be like you?
Does it hurt to know I want to be like me?

With this new voice
I scream!

Does it hurt to know I don’t want you?
Does it hurt to know this has been me?

If everything goes
according to my mind
Everything perfect
is what I will find
If everything goes
the way that it should
Everything that is-
will not be over looked
If everything I feel
is sweet to my skin
Everything that hurts
will come to an end