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Clay Face Apr 2020
I’m broken and weeping.
Seeking a shoulder.

You could destroy me in one look.
However fragile your vessel is.

I wither to an affectionate pulp with you.
Because I know you’re with me.

I don’t have secretes and neither do you.
They’re all our secrets.

You don’t have problems and neither do I.
They’re all our problems.

Cling to you like a life preserver.
I’m caught in the undertow.

Lonesome and weary.
Reflection only draws dreary.

Lay my head upon your shoulder.
Please be my boulder.
Clay Face Apr 2020
Totality escapes beneath me, all that I’ve left unexplored collapses unto me.

Triggered, by self centered inundation, I might as well be gone.

For what do I provide the collective? But neglect and self indulgent plunder.

Relive this aeonic cage, cyclic and persistent. Yet each existence we reach a new peak.

So benevolent, and elegant. I need to relive samsara to fill my void.

Be meaningful to others. Because I do not matter, what I do matters.

Momentarily, this escapes me, shameful and foolish, I must regain such tonic insight.

It combats my abysmal fear of inconsequentiality.

I’ve reflected in infantilism, however I think I’ve found what guides us to actualization.

At least myself anyway, I need to mean something to others.

I need to teach and learn from my peers, whom I overlook as of now.

How myopic and repugnant. White from shame I apologize to those who’d listen.

I open my arms to all. Let me help, show me how to help.
Clay Face Mar 2020
If you can’t find a familiar voice,
For gods sake, don’t argue.
Just give up and take an easy route.
Without a belt or needle,
Just a cable and a screen.
You’ll be able to shoot up on dopamine.

So easy to always seem right.
**** it, you don’t have to be bright!

The ease we have to escape strife,
Makes me want to steam clean my brain.
Bathe in disinfectant.
Let hand sanitizer be my imbibe.
Better yet bleach.

You can say anything.
Racist, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic, misandrist, dull, shallow, backstabbing, hateful, and malicious.
Go on the internet,
And find a Fuckyeah.com for it.
Clay Face Mar 2020
I just don’t want to be alone. Adrift away, walking astray, or isolated and in disarray.

I’ve yet to find someone who isn’t crippled by such a fright. We all know we need someone to hold tight.

Abridged from weeping, malady, and meaning.

Both comfortable with venturing cathartic jungles.
Someone to share an ineffable bond, and curl in bundles.

Not just a *******, dismissal, and ducking.

Stay around a while, make some memories to compile. And stop objectifying human beings.

Swiping left and right. Through the meat.

I feel so desperate to collaborate with the other kind. To be together, one mind.
Clay Face Mar 2020
The hate you keep inside won’t help you float.
But you cling to it, so below you.

Push it under you, to get above the waves.
But eventually the swell will drag you to hell.

Cling to it so below you.
It’s weight will stretch your arms.
Drag you down.

Down into the undertow. Against progress.
So vile, repugnant and insipid. You rot.
Your fingernails leave scars on hate.
You cling to it so.
But shout opposed to such accusation.

Now low enough the crash of the waves blind you.
Squinting through their spray, you struggle.
Treading in denial as you try to pull your hate to breast.

I’d reach out to you, if your hate wouldn’t drag us down together.
And we’d be clinging to something so below you.
Walking in the school hallways
A living hell to me
People staring
Or is my mind
Playing tricks on me?

I'm losing my sanity
My anxiety kicks in
I can bearly breathe
I stumble around the corner
And see the exit
But there's a group standing there
WHY THERE!?
I'm being tested by god
And I'm offended

I try to find another way out of here
I see an open window
Guess this is a Goodyear

I climb through the window like a total ******
And as I look up
I see 4 busses packed with kids
Looking through their window
Straight at me
Oh god
Why me
Why today?
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