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Dec 2018 · 231
The Memories
Choking Angel Dec 2018
Every laugh
Is another tear
Every smile
Begins another heart break
Every memory
Is a new nightmare
It’s you who haunts my dreams
Every “I love you”
Is just the ammo
For the gun pointing at my heart
And it’s you behind it, holding the trigger
With a big
BANG
You’re still saying “I love you”
You’re still without cuddles
You’re still head over heels,
For another girl
You shot me dead
So you could move on
These memories you gave me
Are now wounds on my skin
Every “I love you” that you say to her
Is you pushing the knife deeper into my skin
Wanting and needing to hurt me
She hates me
So, by default
So do you
Take back the smiles
Take back the laughter
Take back all the memories
All they do is leave me to die.
But I still think of when
You held me tight
And kissed the tear that had streamed down
Told me
You’ll always love me
Never let me go
Well now,
It’s tome for me to go.
#illmisslife
Oct 2018 · 275
Tonight?
Choking Angel Oct 2018
Cut 1 Cut 2 Cut 3 Cut 4
Oh how my arms are getting sore
Drip 1 Drip 2 Drip 3 Drip 4
I can’t count the drops anymore
Pill 1 Pill 2 Pill 3 Pill 4
I can’t see the doorway anymore
Step 1 Step 2 Step 3 Step 4
I feel myself falling to the floor
Breath 1 Breath 2 Breath 3
Breath...
#suicide #trigger #sadness #alone #alwayslonely #readytodie
Jul 2018 · 326
Smoke
Choking Angel Jul 2018
The smoke from the air fills my lungs as I deep inhale
...Exhale
Its the only type of high I feel
...Inhale
The constant green of "de huff"
...Exhale
I roll the **** into my mango swisher sweet
...Inhale
I lick the edges shut
...Exhale
Here I go again, up into my high
...Inhale
Don't bring me down
...Exhale
Until I'm underground
...Inhale
6 feet underground...

...exhale...
It's always the ****
Jun 2018 · 431
If I Die Before I Wake...
Choking Angel Jun 2018
If I die before I wake....
I hope to take my place would be an earthquake
rumbles the ground until there is no sound
its not like I made the earth go round.
If I die before I wake...
there surely would be no ache
of the heart, stomach, or soul to take.
If I die before I wake...
it would never daybreak
the sun would still rise
the moon would still set
the earth wouldn't take any debt
If I die before I wake...
I hope and pray they still find happiness in cake...
To the depression that I can't let go of.
Mar 2018 · 253
Today
Choking Angel Mar 2018
Today...
2018
Today...
Day Number 70
Today...
I hurt today
Today...
I work today
Today...
Is a different day
Today...
Will end different than yesterday
Today...
I won't cry
Today...
I won't yell
Today...
I will smile
Today...
I will be happy

Today.
Mar 2018 · 243
Sweater Weather
Choking Angel Mar 2018
Tis' the season of sweaters,
as in, I'm freezing my *** off, I need SOMETHING
all anyone really has is a sweater
because it's supposed to be warm
But its not
You know when you get that feeling,
or, rather
Loss of all feelings
In your legs, arms, and nose.
Yep, this is just another average day
The only difference is that its your sweater that's around me
Your sweater that is keeping me warm
Its your sweater that I am wearing now, even while I type this.
The only difference is that you were the one wanting to be there
When I was cold
May 2016 · 639
I wish
Choking Angel May 2016
I wish a lot of things
I wish I was different
but I'm not
I wish we didn't end it
but it did
I wish we could start over
but we won't
I wish I could make you happier
but I can't
I wish you weren't **** a ******
but you are
I wish
I wish
I wish
But they will never come true.
To the one who's treated me like **** and deserves everything that's coming to him.
May 2016 · 375
Pain
Choking Angel May 2016
Pain is inside us all
much like fear
consuming us
making us rip ourselves apart
Pain grabs us by the hair,
flailing us to and fro
like a new toy
that they can't put down.
Pain is a dark cloud within you
nobody else can see it
but it burns deep within you
eating at you
making you deteriorate from the inside out
You decompose until there really isn't anything left
except to survive.
Pain controls us all...
For those who just feel the pain, you're not alone.
May 2016 · 347
Feelings
Choking Angel May 2016
I don't have any....
Like at all....
No way would this work...
I'm leaving anyways,
There is no time for anything
At all
To happen
Sorry
May 2016 · 333
Friends
Choking Angel May 2016
Friends are the "worth it" factor in life
Connecting with people you never thought
Imaginable to be close to you
Connecting with others from different experiences
Friendship really is a magical thing,
Friendship is patients
With that one problem that you've had enough of hearing
Friendship is bonding
That one "stupid" activity that actually makes you laugh in the end
Friendship is caring
That moment you risk your white shirt for lipstick to lay their head in your shoulder to cry
Friendship is just being there
Being there anytime, to just say I love you, best friend, or just a small gesture letting them know you're thinking if them
Friendship is Love
I love the people that are close to me
May 2016 · 3.0k
Worthless
Choking Angel May 2016
I just feel Worthless
The feeling is Ageless
That just leaves me Breathless
I belong in the Circus
I throw everything in the Furnace
with the non-stop Searches
to dispose of the Heartless
for those who deserve to Resurface
I just feel... Worthless
I just.... do
May 2016 · 275
A
Choking Angel May 2016
***
A,
This is for you,
Just wanting to let you know that using me didn't release you from your past,
What you did to me, it just shows who you are as a person and how much of a **** boy you are.
I saw you...
I wanted to run into your arms,
But you didn't even Acknowledge me
You looked at me and didn't even Smile
You completely disregarded me
like we were never a thing
Like we never happened
I tried to get you to do something
I ended up just making myself look desperate
and i found out why you acted different around me
Why you didn't flirt back
Why you hadn't touched me,
Why you disregarded my presents
When I was waiting with a rose,
I was staring at my toes
I see your shoes...
and a pair of flats,
I look up and you're smiling
down at a girl that isn't me
you leaned in and kissed her
just the same way you had kissed me
You held her waist,
The same way you held mine
You had the same smile on your face
When you had first seen me,
But I have now been replaced
with someone prettier, shorter, and just better.
I now know why I can't get over you,
Because I still care for you
We made a promise,
But I think I'm going to break my first promise
I just can't keep it anymore
My silver paintbrush has been sitting for too long
I'm glad you're happy, A.
You aren't worth the pain, yet I still fee it
Apr 2016 · 359
In Your Eyes
Choking Angel Apr 2016
When I look into your eyes, I see passion.
I see the times I haven't been there for you
The burned memories in your skin
I see the tears that have yet to be shed
And all the ones that have cascaded down your face
When looking into your eyes,
I see your burning passion
for malevolence
I see past what I see, deep within your spirit
Your unappeasable soul
I see your scars,
The cruelty behind them
In your eyes, I see you need to be loved
I see your commitment to being loyal
Your desire to have someone there for you
In your eyes,
I see you finding yourself
I see questions unanswered
In your eyes,
Your pain burns a hole in my heart
The kind that wants to embrace you for hours
The "****" in your eyes
The constant let downs
The future success
*Your eyes hold burning passions that need to be let out
In response to "In My Eyes" By Bleeding Diamonds cx
Apr 2016 · 287
Untitled
Choking Angel Apr 2016
Okay, so, you lead me on
And I start to fall for you
And now that something has happened
you wanna suddenly try and push me away?
I wanna talk to you because I want to ease your mind about it
but instead you ignore me
Push me aside
I'm done with boys
I thought you were different
I seriously had hope for you
Because you tell me you're different,
but in all honesty, you're the
Exact Same
Have fun with whatever it is you do.
The guy I'm talking about, he knows who he is.
Apr 2016 · 1.3k
Whore
Choking Angel Apr 2016
*****
*****
*****
You're such a  ******* *****
Can't you just give your body a break already?
You've had enough guys in you already!
I can't believe you're my *daughter

Daughter
You're a little ****, aren't you?
You sure do get around a lot, don't you?
Haven't you ****** the entire school already?
Come with me, lets go get you tested for *** and STD's
I got you a pregnancy test...
Gotta know if you're going to pop another little **** out

My own mother yells at me, day in and day out
But then proceeds to ask
"Why are you so depressed? (Yells to another person) Awe poor little girl is depressed!"
I was an accident at 17.
she has the audacity to tell me that I can't get pregnant?
Not that I want to.
I want to have the children of those I love, not just someone you "guess will marry, since I have a child"

Sincerely,
Your little *****
Apr 2016 · 286
Alone
Choking Angel Apr 2016
I sit here, waiting for anything to happen
I sit here, waiting for human interaction
I sit here, alone
I sit at this grey table, and chairs to match
It matches how I feel on the inside
I sit in this colorful hallway,
yet I do not feel colorful.
I sit alone
everyone has gone home
I have some color on me...
and that's the red lipstick,
of my best friend crying on my shoulder today
I am alone when I cry
I read when I am alone
I write when I am alone
I feel alone when I am alone
Nobody really thinks I feel this way
"The blond cheerleader? Oh no, she's fine"
I feel alone even when I am with people
I don't feel alone with my best friend
But my best friend feels alone
We feel alone together, but that makes us whole
Apr 2016 · 1.3k
Silly Rabbit
Choking Angel Apr 2016
"Silly rabbit, trix are for kids!"
Well dang, who's to say he doesn't want any trix?
Isn't he the one on the front of the box?
He represents something that he can't have.
That's ****** up.
Maybe, just maybe
he wants to eat
You ****** little kids keeping it form him
like, he just wants some cereal
Have you put into consideration of his feelings?
I hate the trix commercial, its so dumb
like, rejecting someone's cereal from them!
I would get mad if I were the "silly rabbit"
Well dang
Now i want some cereal....
Lets go eat some Trix together, Rabbit
Apr 2016 · 313
Princess
Choking Angel Apr 2016
All my life, I've been treated like a princess.
Why is it that you think you could treat me any different?
You want to tell me you care for me
You love me
You would do anything for me
Then...
Why the hell are you with that ***?
What happened to the I'll spend forever with you
I don't want to ever hurt you
I don't want you to go through that again, I care too much for you
Was it all just a lie?
Us are we just a huge Practical Joke?
You were the first person I let break down my walls
and now you're the reason why they're higher
Trust and Love all feel like myths
Nobody really has those traits, do they?
Whoever it is, I'd like to meet em'
Because right now, my best friend
yes, my best friend is the reason why he's gone.
No, shes loyal to her boo
He is the stupid one because her and I are inceperable
And she treats me like a princess
like you never did.
To the one who left me crying in the darkest of nights, you know who you are.
Apr 2016 · 901
Tea
Choking Angel Apr 2016
Tea
I wish someone would look as me like I look at tea.
Apr 2016 · 754
Cheshire Cat
Choking Angel Apr 2016
I grin my malicious grin
As the little children cower
At the head floating in the trees
And my tail in the breeze
My purple glow
In the dark of the night
Is the only thing that keeps
Everyone in a fright
I want to smile
And them be in delight
I'm not alone in this world
I've got my friend that hurled
From all the tea and the laughing
And the constant photographing
Of the memories that will always be engraved
Into the mind of the mentally deranged.
I think I have gone completely bonkers, well let me tell you a secret.... All the best people are
Apr 2016 · 1.5k
A Struggle
Choking Angel Apr 2016
The struggle of being broken
No, not physically
Mentally
When you've been played with
Been dropped
And shattered
Many times before.
The "I'm sorrys" I always fall for
The forgiveness I can't take back
The knife that's still in my back
Five fingers held up, only one
is deserving to be seen by you
One finger, two finger, three finger, four
I ball each one like before
Hold back the tears of being left again
But nobody should know
Because I'm not the one who
Should struggle now
I have to be strong for those around me
Hold up my fist in victory for all to see
Smile on my face
No one can see the fate
Of the girl
With a struggle
Apr 2016 · 722
What is Love Anyways?
Choking Angel Apr 2016
How would one describe love? Some believe that love is just made up, for a reason humans are living today.

Other say love would be like a good song that you can't stop playing over and over again day in and day out, never leaving your head or just a random thought throughout your day.

Or love is like a piece of art. Always finding something new whenever you search through it more and more, always finding something new that makes your heart swoon more than it had before.

Adults say love is something only they have felt before, something teens or young adults would never understand. The complexity or the feelings you get whenever you think about your lover. How its a thin line of desperation and lust.

Yet, we do know how it feels. Our minds have created our perfect love story just for us, created with what we've been told before. We make this up from stories we have been told as young children, or seeing it as you pass by a house being repainted by a couple who is laughing because the wife got paint on her and the husband put more on her which turned into laughing fits of joy and a new memory being made.

Love isn't just an emotion, its a feeling. A feeling that could only be expressed by one that feels it. Love can be felt in any situation, even in the worst of times.

Love is like an empty book, ready for the beautiful stories and memories to be put in it by the love ridden author.
Apr 2016 · 1.0k
I Don't Know
Choking Angel Apr 2016
What do you not know?
I don't know.
Who are the people you don't know?
I don't know.
I don't know what I don't know, okay?
I don't know about everything, or anything.
I don't know what to write about to make it "original"
I don't know how to get a tight knot out.
I don't know what's hidden behind the curtain sometimes.
I just
Don't
Know...
It's okay to not know sometimes, right?
Choking Angel Apr 2016
Amarte como te amo es complicado
To love you like I love you is complicated
Pensar como te pienso es un pecado
To think about you the way I think about you is a sin
Mirar como te miro está prohibido
To look at you the way I look at you is prohibited
Tocarte como quiero es un delito
To touch you like I want is a crime
Ya no sé qué hacer
I don't know what to do anymore
Para que estés bien
I don't know what to do anymore
Si apagar el sol
if i have to turn off the sun
para encender tu amanecer
to ignite your dawning
Falar en portugués
Talk in Portuguese
Aprender a hablar francés
Learn to speak French
O bajar la luna hasta tus pies
Or bring down the moon to your feet
Yo sólo quiero darte un beso
I only want to give you a kiss
Y regalarte mis mañanas
To gift you my tomorrows
Cantar para calmar tus miedos
To sing to calm your fears
Quiero que no te falte nada
I don't want you to miss anything
Yo sólo quiero darte un beso
I only want to give you a kiss
Llenarte con mi amor el alma
Fill up your soul with my love
Llevarte a conocer el cielo
Take you to meet the sky
Quiero que no te falte nada
I don't want you to miss anything
Yeah
Si el mundo fuera mío te lo daría
If the world was mine I'd give it to you
Hasta mi religión la cambiaría
I would even change my religion
Por ti hay tantas cosas que yo haría
For you there are many things I would do
Pero tú no me das ni las noticias
But you don't even give me the news
Y ya no sé qué hacer
But you don't even give me the news
Para que estés bien
So you can be okay
Si apagar el sol
if i have to turn off the sun
Para encender tu amanecer
to ignite your dawning
Falar en portugués
Talk in Portuguese
Aprender a hablar francés
Learn to speak French
O bajar la luna hasta tus pies
Or bring down the moon down to your feet
Yo sólo quiero darte un beso
Or bring down the moon down to your feet
Y regalarte mis mañanas
To gift you my tomorrows
Cantar para calmar tus miedos
Sing to calm your fears
Quiero que no te falte nada
I don't want you to miss anything
Yo sólo quiero darte un beso
I only want to give you a kiss
Llenarte con mi amor el alma
Fill up your soul with my love
Sólo quiero darte un beso
I only want to give you a kiss
Quiero que no te falte nada
I dont want you to miss anything
Yo sólo quiero darte un beso
I only want to give you a kiss
Llevarte a conocer el cielo
Take you to meet the sky
Sólo quiero darte un beso
I only want to give you a kiss
Quiero que no te falte nada
I don't want you to miss anything
Yo sólo quiero
I only want
Eh eh eh
Yo sólo quiero darte
I only want to give you
Quiero que no te falte nada
I don't want you to miss anything

http://lyricstranslate.com/en/darte-un-beso-give-you-kiss.html-2#ixzz46rFZ2TiE
why can't all songs be like this?
Apr 2016 · 620
Social Expectations
Choking Angel Apr 2016
I'm seen as "****"
Or "Hot"
I'm seen as an icon
to boys' ****** frustrations.
It's my job right?
To please the male specimen.
Walk around the house in a revealing maid's outfit
or pull my shirt down enough to reveal anything.
I am to keep in shape
"Do squats, your *** isn't big enough"
"Oh my god, you're smokin' hot, babe"
"You aren't skinny enough"
"More makeup, not pretty enough"
have you ever thought of how I carry myself?
I live in a hole of social destruction,
consumption of my depression,
feeding off of my sorrows of not
being pretty enough for that "One"
well, maybe, just maybe, there is a chance that
the "one" wants me for all of me, not trying to please him
day in and day out.
I would be different if I let everyone get to me
I could be a *****,
Correction, a skinny, fake, self centered, *****.
To those who tell me I should starve myself or I'm not pretty enough

— The End —