I am daydreaming about making a difference in this corrupt, broken world but all I can do is to solve tasks that have already been answered. Second after second, year after year, I sit behind bricks in a ramshackle school where everyone are as prisoners in an alternative prison, where the years disappear in meaninglessness. Let me knock down walls and build them again, help the world instead of sitting as a product on a conveyor belt in the middle of a mass production of individuals that have solved the same tasks with the same answers, behind the same wall, at the same table, just to be able to put a way too expensive student cap on ones head and to call oneself a student. But what does it actually mean to be a student? Are you not just another number in the row, yet a grade point average, another helpless individual who can only solve problems where the answer already exists in a rule book. Let me knock down the world and build a new one, where mass production of students does not take place, but where anyone can build a future of new ideas and not only find errors on the old. But before I'm done daydreaming, tens of thousands of old assignments end op on the table, and I must sit on the chair a little longer as the conveyor belt keeps on going.

They say that love can mend your soul but my soul is still torn into pieces. I can still feel my rapists hands on my body and my mind sometimes wanders back to that place where I wanted to run but stayed. I know that i shouldn't let his mistreatment impact another's love but his shadow still follows mine and no matter how far I run he is still there. Love can't take away the pain caused by tragedy but it slowly washes the dead cells of my skin and leaves new prints of affection. So maybe love does mend your soul but it heals with fragments of everyone that has touched it so the **** is still a part of me but hopefully love can shine some light in the darkness so no shadows can follow and I can run freely.

I have tried to write a poem about ****, but it is like I couldn’t find the right words. The meaning was stuck in my head and I was unable to translate it into complete sentences. It is like that night, where the darkness spiraled into the center of my body, and the cries for help were stuck in my throat, choking me. I still remember the emptiness that filled the whole room, so compressed that it felt like the walls would give in to it. I want to go home! No, I want to disappear, leave this body, this place and crawl into myself and let the darkness consume me. I just wanted it to end. My anxiety is always worst when I am amongst others and at that moment, it felt like my heart stopped, as I lost control over my mind and body, even though I felt it all. “I wish for it all would end”, I told myself. I wished that everything could just be ****** into a black hole, just like the void inside of me ****** out the last bit of happiness I had. All alone, but I could still hear the sound of the crowd on the other side of the wall of this crime scene. When the person who helped you out of depression, just pushed you down into a dark pit, when your parents haven’t taught you to call the police when the law is broken and the world feels like an empty void. If a friend no longer is one, but a ****** and you have forgotten how to say no, then stick ******* down your throat and let the screams fill the house.

Silence teaches you how
to be afraid of your thoughts
to love the voices
to hear static
to enjoy the crackle
to be sinister.

Silence teaches you how
to welcome pain
to inflict pain
to be perverse
to poison.

Silence teaches you how
to lose yourself
to feel the snaps
and the booms
to harm
and to tap and shiver.

you are like bruises on my lips
when you stopped talking to me
i started to wear my scars like metal
like heavy stones and cold-short iron
every time i looked  up all i saw was the way
you touched my nails

i thought my brain
was coloured in pastel blue
last night i forgot the contour of
your face and i almost felt insane
i thought i was drunk but
everyone kept calling it sadness

my pulse was swimming in my knee caps
my eyes was on fire when you
said my name
he is like bruises on my body
leaving splodges on my mind like
i was made of ashes
he is like poetry
leaving bruises wherever he can

Flygter rundt i kolde Danmark, og er steder mine forældre,  ikke ved hvor jeg er. Men er alligevel er jeg fanget, af at jeg ikke kommer nogle steder. Render rundt i min egen lille verden, som folk ikke helt forstår. De forstår ikke den eller mig.
Stjæler bøger, tøj og ord. Imens mine tanker går amok inde i mit hovede, om at jeg bare skal væk. Flygte væk fra mine forældre og alle de andre, men nu mest mig selv.
Eftersom det stadig er et stort mysterium om hvem jeg er. Ved det ikke  selv, det er os svært med mine 547 personligheder, og alt for forvirret hovede at afgøre det.

When a man raised as a punching bag carries the weight onto his offspring he must leave the guilt at home. Reject the awful truth that he him self is a careless boxer. He fights teddy bears and screaming dolls not knowing the effect it has on the unaware children from his lovers womb. This kind of ignorance destroys the home not alone the beating hearts of little ghosts. When a man raised with nightmares carries the weight of his childhood he must leave it in a ghost town.