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Carlyy Sep 2017
Humor comes in a million different shades.
As mine reaches various greys and yellows,
I admit, more often an inkling than a joke,
I say, "I could die happy, right now."
This life assures me nothing good nor bad.
Blah.
Maybe the next? If any.
I won't take anything away from myself because that would mean,
I have an enemy.
And you don't run from your enemies,
You face them.
So it's safe to say,
I am here until I am not.


«c.h.b.»
It's hard to explain this one.  I am aware of suicide's toll on everyone. I am neutral, well I like to think so. I notice the many sides of why. It can be a way out but it could be a way in. No one knows what goes on in other people's minds. Suicide can be neither a sign of weakness nor a symptom of strength. Maybe it's both? I don't know but I do know it happens. I lost my friends to suicide. These people, I knew them when I was a kid. We all possessed naivety and love for life. Adventures didn't come to us, we made them. We grew up. We saw, did, & heard things. The real world ****** us in. Expectations hit hard. Lies and deceit had familiar faces. Love hurt. No one is to blame. No one at all!  I've come to terms. We all face demons. We all have our struggles. How you face them is what matters? you decide everything in your life. Don't let people get you down. You are capable of anything! Preferably good things that help you, people, maybe nature and animals. Idk but be good.
Carlyy Sep 2017
There are still lessons to be learned.
His love tightens around her throat,
While his words take stabs to her heart.
Unconditional love makes up for her pain.
She's forgiving.
He's sick.
And I can't take it anymore.
I'm unfamiliar with the art of protecting and defending.
I, too, choke on my words.
As actions speak louder,
She will cry again.
I will give pass her a knowing look.
They will speak redundancy.
How much more can she take?
No more scoffs and oh's
She's the source of my stubbornness.
She's the only beginning I know.
She'll curse me to the pits for thinking like this,
Death can't come any quicker,
To this ugly fat f*cker.
my, now disowned, uncle abuses my grandma, his mom. He has cancer now and is dying. He is her baby. My mom, his sister, has attempted to get her help but she constantly forgives him and claims there is no trouble when police arrive. Outsiders, think it's "crying for attention" because it happens a lot. For the past 40+ years. She does everything for him, laundry, pays his bills, cooks his food, etc. He once had a wife and kid but they saw his ugly and ran. I miss my cousin. My grandma signed her house over to him when he had his family around and he holds that over her head bc he knows she has nowhere to go. He makes her cry. My mom's house is small and full. It's not fair but karma is catching up to him and I'm glad. If it's evil of me to be ok with him dying then so effing be it. He is nothing to me but a bag of bones.
  Sep 2017 Carlyy
R
8w
shes proud because
maybe he'll notice her
too.
daddy issues *sigh*
  Sep 2017 Carlyy
nivek
someone raises their voice
animalistic (possessed for sure)

I do not know what that tortured soul
wants in the end(I guess its love)

but for sure, they are possessed
and keep testing my heart

and it is a test, and I find
I slowly have a heart of love

from wanting to annihilate
I find I am serene.
Carlyy Sep 2017
She snacked when she was nervous.
He did that to her.
She has a habit of thinking too much.
A habit that caused her much pain.
She uses her voice rarely now.


Her favorite snack just so happened to be his deadly allergy.
He oh so wanted to kiss her,
Well, eventually.
His biggest fear was losing everything that is good, in his life.
A fear that originated from his childhood.
It has only grown.


Someone has to speak up for their ends to meet.



                             «c.h.b.»
Someone can always overcome their fears and turn their bad habits into good ones. Big or little. Redemption, if you would, but for yourself.
  Sep 2017 Carlyy
Alana Lyles
you
your smile taste like a summer storm
and i don't mind being caught in the rain
Carlyy Aug 2017
take a walk down this lonely road
tell me where your mind goes
don't look back to see if they followed
this is the way you chose

be strong in all that you do
trust me when I say I know it is hard
don't expect a hero's rescue
without being scarred


                            
                                        «c.h.b.»
Maybe be your own hero
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