Everything changes within a breath.
We breathe life's force in and exhale its poison.
Thirty some years spent in sweet slumber,
The numb relief to the painful awakening.
What the hell am I here for,
If not for some purpose.
I breathe his life in and exhale his pain.
And true to this action, I know it is killing me.
Everything changes in one breathing moment.
The death that is longed for,
the hunger, the need,
Is simply released from
the breath that we breathe.
I'm being slain honest and cold.
Defenses are crumbled as fast as their thrown.
Walls that get scaled as fast as their built.
Is this what is needed,  the lessons of soul?
To slumber no longer and face loves true toll.
Selfishness battles selflessness,
And the wager is all.
Using and neglecting life ****** out,  we fall.
There is no grand ending, no marbled hall.
Where is he hiding in this masquerade ball?

© Crystal Erickson 1/19/08

Will you remember me when days grow cold?
When dark clouds close in and the ground dies under foot,
When all the world falls into slumber and oneness,
Will I fade from your consciousness?
When I am gone will it hurt?
Will I cry when you no longer think of me, and I die?
To exist only as a thought in your head.....
Life dependent on your thinking.
Even a memory... at least then,
I would be recalled from time to time, resurrected.
I can't even be  a memory because I never was...
never really existed.
Just something you one day thought up.
I can only survive as long as you are thinking me,
and continue entertaining the thought of me.
You have no way to give birth to me.
No way to make me exist in the material world.
No way to make me solid.
I am no more then an electrical impulse
passed between the synapses in your brain.
When they stop firing me to and fro I will cease to exist.
What will become of me when you fizzle me out?
Will you simply reabsorb me into your cells?
Will I be cast out as waste?
I turn to face my fate, yet you keep thinking me.
Torturing me in a way, recalling me, adding to me,
making me bigger, longer, more intricate.
What price I'd pay for you to create me in reality.
Impossible, I know...
To be able to see you from the outside in, instead of inside out!
To know the you, you present to the world.
The strong, creative, mysterious, smart,
confident, emotional you. The quiet you.
Instead I know the inner you, the screaming,
raging, crying, laughing, manipulative,
intelligent, humorous you.
Would I think of you the same.....,
could you manifest me into reality?
Would you me......?
You would know me after all, you thought me,
you created me, you own me.
Breathe life into my veins.
You are me!
Can I become a memory... of a thought... you once created?

© Crystal Erickson 11/24/07

I see the look within his eyes
I feel the need when he cries
The demon of mortality holds fast
His mind and heart dwell in the past
His love I long for shall never be
His will grows weary, his soul empty
The shattered life, the pain hes bled
This twisted horrible life he's led
Can my love and patience withstand
All that his healing will demand
And then will it all be worth it in the end
Or will I merely become a remembered friend!

© Crystal Erickson

Let my eyes speak to you.
Let my touch speak to you.
Please don't ask me for spoken words.
There are none.
Feel it from within me.
Hold me naked in the night.
Let my body speak to you.
Let my heart speak to you.
Cut me, Let my blood speak to you.
Kiss me, let my passion speak to you.
Words are useless to explain.
They are weak in comparison.
Let my soul speak to you.
Let me speak and listen true.
I love you.

© Crystal Erickson 11/07

Twisted morbid thoughts
Venomous dreams
Poisonous looks
Life ******* streams
Love dies
Memories fade
Hearts grow cold
Feelings go numb
Lonely empty open space
All the time in the world to waste
Alone in life is alone in death
Never alone when on crystal ****.

© 1997 Crystal Erickson

Shavings of a canvas sky,
Slowly float and twirl by,
I lay back resting now,
my body heavy with its dread.
The torturous thoughts within my head.
For turns past I can not go back.
The lake of feelings brewing
turmoil and hurricane winds
That are gathering strength.
They will come and rage,
destroying this emotional cage,
in their fury, my emotions rip from me.
Shadows creep and slither in the wake of their destruction.
Mangled trees and dying wrath lay strewn about.
There is no path.
I stagger to the edge of my emotional cliff
And cast myself away.
Over the edge to the plummeting depths
from where I cant return.
The skies will clear and smile again.
The sun will kiss the dew.
I will wander the darkest deep
Lost and alone I'll wither and weep.
The blackness slowly starts to blue,
followed by a redish hue.
Then comes orange and yellow too.
Can I see a rainbow.....
Birds I hear them, waken I must
Dreaming of you,
I become dust!

© Crystal Erickson 4/24/08