Twisted morbid thoughts
Venomous dreams
Poisonous looks
Life ******* streams
Love dies
Memories fade
Hearts grow cold
Feelings go numb
Lonely empty open space
All the time in the world to waste
Alone in life is alone in death
Never alone when on crystal ****.

© 1997 Crystal Erickson

I found myself today
I found my strength, imagine that
on the breath of a shy whiskered cat
imagine how great to drift out of yourself
Float off through the night to see your desires
The beautiful feeling of being unrestrained by your skin
To look upon the face you can not replace
and see them smiling and happy
I love to dissolve in the street lights hue
and dance on the rain spinning around you
You know I'm there but you can't find me
No matter how hard you stare, but you can feel me
If we could meet on an astral plane,
we could fly together and make love in the rain

© Crystal Erickson 9/21/08

Fun is fun when it runs along in its merry way
but when the sky turns liquid gray
all the fun goes away
cause through my eyes
my dull gray eyes
I see right through your foolish lies
I know that you do not know
and I do not let it show
be that as it may
with my eyes of gray
powers of plenty
I look within my realms
of mind and heart
you can't look into them
you can't look away
from my enchanting eyes of gray
driving driving driven on
to other lands and a further dawn
the deserts sandy storm has blown
and all the dust be dusted clean
and filtered through the cracks unseen

© Crystal Erickson 2007

Share with me my pain, my pity
Share with me my loss, my loss
Don't pretend, don't play games
I can see what you hold in
I say nothing to this knowledge
That you hide on the outside
I know what you really think
The secrets you wont share
On the exterior your mask you wear
I will keep your secrets safe
Never let you know, I know
I'll never let you feel ashamed
Thinking what I'll think of you
I will share your pain, your pity
I do feel your loss, your loss
I pretend I can not see within you
I let you wear your mask
I love you either way!

©Crystal Erickson

I am not what I used to be
So now in the shadow of unspoken events
Everything whimsical is leaving
Words fill my head, they fragment like artillery shells
they tare through it forcing irreparable damage.
Time has accelerated
Born out of the absence of light
Shaped by my own hands
Justly worthy to be referenced and adored
I re-encounter what my elation briefly with held
The thirst for the dangerous
Obliterate the incomprehensible crowding thoughts
The stampede within my head
The mayhem of the many visions
Lock them down, all that fracture within my head
Inexplicable wanderings of mindful musings
Spontaneous perceptions
Shadow of foe
Encircling their fears with distractions
Pulsing in endless repetitions
I am the one whose throat is stripped bare.
I am the one who has not spoken in years
A distant moon to sense

© Crystal Erickson

Alone I sigh, alone I cry
Alone my lonely feelings fly
And so I chose to be lonely no longer
When the winter wind blows chill my veins
I will no longer feel the pain
Shadows come and steal away
The breath I breathe in the light of day
I step through my window clear
The eyes that haven't shed a tear
Into my world I retreat
To the safety I create
The gentle breeze blows butterflies
Carrying the swallows song neatly to my ears
The fawn walks slowly at my side
Through the pink dreamscape of the cherry trees
The blossoms smile at me now and
bend their kiss to brush my cheek
The sun so warm and beautiful
Embraces me so tenderly
I find a place where I may rest
and ease my troubled heart
The velvet clover springs about
and cherry blossom confetti showers me
sparkles twinkles all around
If only I could stay right here
not face the world without
but I must open my eyes once more
and force them through this drought
I am strong, or am I weak?
The answer lies in me
As for you...
I'll just simply have to wait and see


© Crystal Erickson   4/25/08

Dragon flight, and dragon fire
Dragon fight, and dragon desire
Soaring on their wings of flame
They are impossible to tame
Dragons fly in the skies
Shrieking their horrible ear piercing cries
Dragons winging in the air
Make us wish we could be there
Gliding gracefully up above
They live and die, despair and love
Flaming breath upon the tongue
Is passed along down to their young
The souls in which their flames enfold
When breathed upon become dragon gold
Sires of the mating age
Rise up in an awful rage.
Battling the other great males
Searing hot their necks and tails.
They are grateful for every breath
For dragon males fight to the death!

© Crystal Erickson

The wolves did not just stalk quietly through cadmium woods.
Their teeth grew madder and rose from each others throats.
The tigers did not just sleep on mossy slopes,
they colored the afternoon fushia and indigo from caladon heights,
The dragon with its terrible emerald tail and ruby glare,
did not merely threaten to incinerate everything around it.
Spiders prepare a grave.
This thing in a binding tomb.
A multitude of flames, a million orange and blue....
Tears cremating the past.
A burning snow falling everywhere.
When the darkest angel of all, sits at last upon my chest,
permanently enfolding me in its radiant wings....
A creature without a voice,
A voice without a name.
As immortal as mi life,
come here at long last to summon the wind.


© Crystal Erickson

Changing faces for nameless places
Nameless people struggling for existence in a nameless time
Worship the incoherent ramblings
Of countless babbling nameless fools
Bread and water lead the lambs to slaughter
Prejudice injustice demanding obedience
Nameless zombies

Becoming the robotic puppet
Of the puppeteers desires
With pre-programmed responses
Feelings not your own

Desensitized children
Of a race of morbid loving junkies
We render them fearless, then cry
At the mass of chaos they invoke upon us

Lost leading the lost
Devouring the beauty in their paths
The scourge of the free man
Who lives under the delusion of his freedom

Prisoners all
While the power sits upon a high throne laughing
Unbelieving how simply they all fell
And obediently they continue to provide
The avenues of deception for his rich existence


© Crystal Erickson   11/24/2007

After decades and decades of distance
I've found you
The sluggish, torturous moments of the laps
have finally passed.
Time has bruised me, pounded me, bled me
to the core.
Hours spent as a pack of wolves,
howling for a soul.
I've hunted, starving in my travels.
Searching for you.
Me, a pack of hunting dogs not just stalking
quietly through still woods....
but bolting with snarling furled lips....
exposing razor sharp fangs to sink deep within
the throat of the love I long for.
Hold tight until the struggling gazelle gasps its last.
The hunt is over,
the heart full from the gorging.
Purring in each others company.
While resting tranquilly on the aromatic clover.
Riffles unable to focus, our stripes blending,
as our bodies merge.
The great cats we are, no predator to fear.
We slumber and bask in our regal glory.
Our cat eyes fixed on each other!

© Crystal Erickson  12/14/07

Amongst the multitude of solitudnal whims
I carry within,
Down to you, forgotten.
A youth that's fighting,
refusing to succumb to the delicacies
of an aging core.
The dream of love renewed,
The ambiance of it.
The life of a thousand nights of falling star
wishes and programmed dreams.
A chance within our grasps.
Mirrors.

Desolately has my soul resided in this
phantasmal reality of dull referendum,
misunderstood.
Neglected, rejected, tortured, hurt,
and broken.
I remain hidden.
A cool calm collected exterior.
The world sees me,
or so it thinks.

Hilarious hideousness.
My deceptions so simple.
Smoke and mirrors, magician I am.
Humor the powerful blinding agent
of stares, opinions, and gossip.
I laugh internally as the world judges me.
Forms its superficial egotistical
repressed opinions of me.

Do you..... see me true?
Can you.....will you ever chose to?
Demonic presence ever near, trying to **** me.
Have I fear?.........No, I have no fear!

© Crystal Erickson  11/24/07

Will you remember me when days grow cold?
When dark clouds close in and the ground dies under foot,
When all the world falls into slumber and oneness,
Will I fade from your consciousness?
When I am gone will it hurt?
Will I cry when you no longer think of me, and I die?
To exist only as a thought in your head.....
Life dependent on your thinking.
Even a memory... at least then,
I would be recalled from time to time, resurrected.
I can't even be  a memory because I never was...
never really existed.
Just something you one day thought up.
I can only survive as long as you are thinking me,
and continue entertaining the thought of me.
You have no way to give birth to me.
No way to make me exist in the material world.
No way to make me solid.
I am no more then an electrical impulse
passed between the synapses in your brain.
When they stop firing me to and fro I will cease to exist.
What will become of me when you fizzle me out?
Will you simply reabsorb me into your cells?
Will I be cast out as waste?
I turn to face my fate, yet you keep thinking me.
Torturing me in a way, recalling me, adding to me,
making me bigger, longer, more intricate.
What price I'd pay for you to create me in reality.
Impossible, I know...
To be able to see you from the outside in, instead of inside out!
To know the you, you present to the world.
The strong, creative, mysterious, smart,
confident, emotional you. The quiet you.
Instead I know the inner you, the screaming,
raging, crying, laughing, manipulative,
intelligent, humorous you.
Would I think of you the same.....,
could you manifest me into reality?
Would you me......?
You would know me after all, you thought me,
you created me, you own me.
Breathe life into my veins.
You are me!
Can I become a memory... of a thought... you once created?

© Crystal Erickson 11/24/07

Shavings of a canvas sky,
Slowly float and twirl by,
I lay back resting now,
my body heavy with its dread.
The torturous thoughts within my head.
For turns past I can not go back.
The lake of feelings brewing
turmoil and hurricane winds
That are gathering strength.
They will come and rage,
destroying this emotional cage,
in their fury, my emotions rip from me.
Shadows creep and slither in the wake of their destruction.
Mangled trees and dying wrath lay strewn about.
There is no path.
I stagger to the edge of my emotional cliff
And cast myself away.
Over the edge to the plummeting depths
from where I cant return.
The skies will clear and smile again.
The sun will kiss the dew.
I will wander the darkest deep
Lost and alone I'll wither and weep.
The blackness slowly starts to blue,
followed by a redish hue.
Then comes orange and yellow too.
Can I see a rainbow.....
Birds I hear them, waken I must
Dreaming of you,
I become dust!

© Crystal Erickson 4/24/08

Step on me, go ahead.  Don't see my blood?
Truth be told it is red.  Don't hesitate.
I've been laying here for effervescent scores of time,
drifting in and out of knowing.
My heart sewn by threads of chance.
So scared of pain and the hurts I've lived.
reluctantly the love I give, is taken greedily.
And selfish truths come into light.
Cry I have like never before,
my mistake to open the door.
Lessons learned I did not head,
now I lay here on the floor to suffer my fate and bleed.
Darkness enveloping hope.
Jumping through hoops with a noose around my throat.
Praying each leap lands me on my pedestal without a false step.
The fatal end I know, waits for the careless step I take.
You the thief, who stole the whole of me.
All of me.
Made me go where I swore I would not.
Made me live my dreams.
Made me step out into fantasy,
My reality,
Come true to me,
Unbelievably,
I, so foolishly!
No one will ever catch me, my heart will never be.
Never see a safe horizon.
Never be surrounded in true and trusted arms of strength.
I can not save you, I can not save anyone,
For I need saving myself.
Can you save me?
Will you try?
Will you support my misguided step,
before the noose pulls tight?
I am bleeding on the floor, and running out of strength.
Will you stop my blood from running, or will you merely drink?

© Crystal Erickson 3/09/08

Allow me some time to play with your mind.
For your feeble thoughts have kept you blind.
Look into my thoughts of morbid mental vane.
I am entering your soul now, you feeling empty pain.
The deepest crypts within your dreams
swallow up your wretched heart,
and drown its pulsing gleam.
Then, when your twisted heart
so venomously does subside...
the poisoned blood runs cold,
as evil takes over pride.
I leave your tortured mind with great disgust.
For evil has consumed you.
Your fate I mustn't lust.

© Crystal Eriskson

The epiphanies of my failures
and the reaper of reputations
strip me to the bone
strip me to the bone, and leave me bare to dry
licked repeatedly by the incinerating
UV rays of humanity.
Care not for me.
Care not.
Hold me never.
Laugh, laugh and walk away.

Left to my own, my ingenuity.
I build myself, I create myself.
I unbrainwash myself!
Years of reconstruction.
I succeed to emerge a greatness.
An inner entity of amazement.
No one understands.

Failure?  I wonder..
Pain always lingering in the depths.
Inadequacies, *******.
I push past, deal with, and battle face to face.
To leave dismembered on the floor.
Step on it, stomp it deep.
plunge it down to surface again in light.

ME
hold me, love me if your able.
Never take for granted,
my soul, not of this life.
This place, these people, this society.
I am light.
Capable of so many inconceivable things.
I am light
I need only when I let myself need.
I need you, only if to see me.
The true me,
The me no one can possibly see.
I cry, I love, I feel, I am awakened!

© Crystal Erickson 11/24/07

Everything changes within a breath.
We breathe life's force in and exhale its poison.
Thirty some years spent in sweet slumber,
The numb relief to the painful awakening.
What the hell am I here for,
If not for some purpose.
I breathe his life in and exhale his pain.
And true to this action, I know it is killing me.
Everything changes in one breathing moment.
The death that is longed for,
the hunger, the need,
Is simply released from
the breath that we breathe.
I'm being slain honest and cold.
Defenses are crumbled as fast as their thrown.
Walls that get scaled as fast as their built.
Is this what is needed,  the lessons of soul?
To slumber no longer and face loves true toll.
Selfishness battles selflessness,
And the wager is all.
Using and neglecting life ****** out,  we fall.
There is no grand ending, no marbled hall.
Where is he hiding in this masquerade ball?

© Crystal Erickson 1/19/08

Sailing across a field on a machine of pure iron
He carries your weight as though,
you were merely a fly on his shoulder.
Pulsing in your veins echos the thunder, of each
consecutive hoof as it strikes the Earth in turn.
The wind taring at your skin.
Your eyes water painfully with its vengeance.
The land fly's by in fades of greens and blues
Time stands still and the world tips on end.

©  Crystal Erickson

The child screams as the beast draws near,
unable to run frozen in fear.
Pinning the boy to the ground with one claw,
then ripping him open he begins to maw.
A girl so fragile yet so brave,
draws the beasts attention with one small wave.
The beast lashes out with fiery breath
The girl cries out with the pain of death
People flee without success,
from the dragons murderous breath.
Soon there is nothing left to ****,
the village lays quiet desolate and still.
The beast waists nothing of his prey
He feeds until the end of day.
The rest he takes back to his weyr,
To feed his hatchlings waiting there.

© Crystal Erickson 1999

Dragons blood burning hot,
from the place where he'd been shot.
It drips from his enormous wings,
spoiling the color of the clear blue springs.
The mighty beast screams with rage,
with a whip of his tail he destroys the cage.
Then spreading his powerful wings red with blood,
he bounds through the air and lands in the mud.
With three more bounds and one big leap,
he's gone from sight without a peep.
He's gone back to his hatchlings and hen,
to see the likes of mankind, never again.
He will soon heal and be well,
and again rule the beasts of heaven and hell.
But most importantly,
He will be free!


© Crystal Erickson 1999

Those who seek us they may find
a secret passage to the phases of time.
Flitter here, Flitter fare
See us only in moon lights stare.
We who nurture the soul of nature.
We enlighten your ageless future.
Love we can grant with our fairy dust
If your hearts desires, to us you entrust.
Walk softly upon our mossy floor,
Carefully seek us ever more.
For we await the true of heart.
To grant them the courage to do their part.
Deep within our forest fair.
Come and seek us, those who dare.

© Crystal Erickson

Misty dreams flow shimmering through empty catacombs.
Floating effortlessly, the galaxy I see blows straight through me.
Above and all around, you gotta go up in order to get down.
Twisting visions morph into view.
I cast them aside with the wave of my hand.
Shadows cast upon the wall,
you never know they're there at all.
Spiteful demons invoking chant,
laughing hysterically as you fall.

I can simply pass through the wall.
Dissolving dimensions of your matter, within me.
I can consume your eternity,
Know that I know you like no one else knows you.
Hide your eyes, it's no surprise.
The tangible world filled with your lies.
I pay no head to the convulsive cries.
There is no need, for all things die.

© Crystal Erickson 5/19/08

Spit on me I care not
For shame upon the depths of soul
**** the light within me whole
I am always getting shot
Hide me away in your strong embrace
and keep me ever safe
Gently caress me with your eyes
let your hands slip over my body
and drench me in your breath
Drown me in your kiss
Hold me under in your love making
Calm my eager rasps
Eternally burning within me, I can feel you still
Hardly a glimpse top hold me
To comfort me, to shelter me
Will you heal me
Will you pick me up from my past
My fallen core a tattered mess
Will you fix me, and keep me
Evermore

Drazen days abrasing me
to launch myself into delinquency.
The selfish truths we plead
and cry no heed,
to those who beg for our attentions.
The masses play to the puppeteers whims.
They dance this way, they spin that way.
They fall and rise and stumble through the lies.
The whole while everyone laughing inside.....
Believing themselves to be superior.
What foolish games we live by here.
The present now has lost sight of it all,
their "souls" are lost,
and wandering farther from whats real.
I am alone here in this place.
The place they carelessly erase.
Where shall I go when all is gone?
No where to be, no more song.
I seem to be the only one with resistance....
I am trapped and can't find the distance....
To place between myself and their existence.


© Crystal Erickson  04/10/08

He leaps upon his victim
Pulsing claws grip the velvet skin of her back
Embracing her in mighty paws
Taking her fragile life in his powerful jaws
His tongue slips out
between knife sharp teeth
clinging tightly to her
his claws unsheathed
her hands slip down his sleek hide
she knows that she has surely died
She looks into his eyes not seeing rage
only the want for freedom instead of the cage
Take me she whispers
your young shall grow strong
**** me quickly she pleads
please don't take long
her hands draw up through his fur
purr turns to roar as he swiftly kills her.


© Crystal Erickson

Black and shiny
Sleek and gray
Pure white
Gorgeous Bay
Flaring nostrils
Wild eyes
Thundering hooves
The spirit never dies
Free to roam wherever's chosen
Free of hatreds awful poison
A soul of freedom, a heart so pure and true
Beautiful beasts galloping silently in the dew.

©Crystal Erickson

Sizzle, sizzle, frazzle, froom
I sweep you away with my broom
Out of this house you no longer welcome
Shed not a tear, you don't deserve to
You torturer,
you leave me emotionally maimed
and bleeding on the floor.
I close my eyes, I close my door.
To look upon you never more.
Rash decisions of the past poison you now.
I am merely a temporary escape,
Or the freedom you seek perhaps?
Now look on me no more
For I havent the strength to help you soar.
I'm left bleeding on the floor
Are you sorry?  Want me to stay?
I can not, for I've found my way.
Finally I am free to be me
Whatever that is
Will part of me remain, bleeding on the floor?
Time will tell,
I leave you with your thoughts to dwell.

©  Crystal Erickson 12/03/07

In the glass of my memory sail my chaotic emotions
The ice all between them glistening, the moonbeams of my imagination
Reflect from the faceted rubies embedded within.
I again re-encounter the ecstasy of desire when I touch you.
Such encounters murdering all remnants of dreams
For finally I am ****** wholly into the fantastic reality of you
The joyful, mind numbing, gut heaving, love I feel
My ragged fingers set against an unreachable door
I am powerless to close against you
ever present beyond your love, flooding my veins and filling my soul
My life finally taking wing
Laughter, and fear, all emotions a collective illusion within me
You exceed the threshold of my existence
surrounding and sustaining me eternally
We belong forever solely to one another
Our dawn spent scavenging for each other like rats,
To be born in the afternoon, bald eagles
soaring the days away like gods
Now our lives entwined, no longer passing parallel to each other.

© Crystal Erickson  12/14/07

Gifted are the dead,
we shot them in the head.
We ran them down insane,
they cried out in vein.
Guilt we mustn't feel.
For life is so unreal.
And broken hearts don't heal.
I know how they feel.

Does it matter, do we care?
Does it help if their not there?
Endless visions, endless thoughts.
Night and day don't get caught.
You will be shunned, you will be blamed,
if you break the heart that you've now tamed.

What is real, what is right,
Who you sleep with every night.
Or the one you dream of, is it fair,
To love the one who cant be there?
Questions always on the mind.
Which way to go, which choice, which time.
Never ending how you go,
For the other path you'll never know.

© Crystal Erickson

I see the look within his eyes
I feel the need when he cries
The demon of mortality holds fast
His mind and heart dwell in the past
His love I long for shall never be
His will grows weary, his soul empty
The shattered life, the pain hes bled
This twisted horrible life he's led
Can my love and patience withstand
All that his healing will demand
And then will it all be worth it in the end
Or will I merely become a remembered friend!

© Crystal Erickson

From the darkened depths of the shadows she rises,
swift as the wind flame bright.
Proud as a hawk embracing the moonlight,
glittering on her graceful form.
A creature of great mystery and majesty.
Beautiful, noble, valiant, and deadly.
Her silver voice can lure men to their doom.
Her brightly shining claws rend flesh and bone.
The same sculpted teeth that grace her smile,
Have charmed beasts into becoming her meal.
Even her eyes so full of lovely wisdom,
are a mesmerizing and enchanting trap.
Beware the perilous beauty of the dragon,
and even as you do ....surrender to it.

© Crystal Erickson

Words can not undo what has been done
Desire can not unset the sun.
Time never stops, never pauses, never slows.
What happens next we don't get to know.
The world spins on, oblivious to chance.
We can sit it out or chose to dance.
Lingering in bittersweet memories past.
We long for a truth that will forever last.
We find ourselves crying alone in the night.
Chained by mistakes we long to take flight.
Trapped from within and tortured forever.
Until we let go and look back never!
So goodbye my dearest, my lover, my friend,
Goodbye seems so permanent, Is this the end?

© Crystal Erickson 2008

Sing the songs of eons past,
to lay upon your lovers grasp.
Tend the lonely wounded heart,
the pain its dealt with since you've part.
Show the piercing tears that flow.
You have somewhere you can go.
Say the words you long to say,
or they will surely fade away.
The magic to save a love gone wrong,
lies deep within the hearts true song.
Secrets devour like ravenous wolves.

Please hear my melody, hear my song.
Let me know that I am wrong.
For in the times of yet to be,
I will forget your memory.
Past the moments that we have shared,
Great joys bring only loss, and painful ploys.
I shatter now and down I fall,
To bang my head against the wall.
Here I stay to waist away,
Locked in this tower I shall stay.
Have a beautiful,  wonderful day!

© Crystal Erickson 4/08

Treasures lost our souls left to cry,
Golden tears fall down the sigh.
The feelings sway with the wind.
Blown away to return not again.
The fluttering lashes of my eye,
Turn from the emerald ashes that fly.
Born up to the clouds of yesterdays dreams,
The trampled petals that've withered and died.
Harmony fades as my shallow breath slows.
In the end no one knows!

© Crystal Erickson 4/15/08

Tragedy strikes the air,
I look around and your not there.
Time passes slowly, alone I tremble.
The world spins on without a care.
My dreams they haunt and stalk my days,
My strength grows as my hunger is fed
A fire burning brighter and brighter in my head
The heat reaches my heart and I feel nothing
Looming dragons in the night
Wait for darkness to take flight
Scowering the skies at will
To steal any thoughts of you I find
Only today, only in my mind

© Crystal Erickson

All I want is for you to tell me,
just tell me it's ok.
Tell me you forgive me,
so the pain can go away.

My flaws laid bare, my weakness there,
to cast upon your shore.
These trying times of bitterness,
of agony and more.

I throw myself repeatedly,
upon your darkened door.
Until my ****** bodies drained,
I collapse upon the floor.

I, no longer strong, where do I belong?
I don't know anymore.
I **** the love that's killing me
You don't care, you don't see.

In my misery I wallow.
No warmth behold, my blood runs cold.
To find you I cant follow.

Scared, I'm scared, I'm terrified,
to find rejection in your eyes.

No one caught me when I fell!

My mind torments me relentlessly,
my vision of you blurry.
Pick me up to find my feet,
hold me till I'm steady.

Love rebuilds the bridges burned,
by fear and pain and anger
Stay by my side my strength regained
Love is the master power
An empty soul I hide,
I simply cry, and cower.


This side of me, no one shall see.
So with my heart, that you still have,
please keep my memory.

© Crystal Erickson  5/9/08

Let my eyes speak to you.
Let my touch speak to you.
Please don't ask me for spoken words.
There are none.
Feel it from within me.
Hold me naked in the night.
Let my body speak to you.
Let my heart speak to you.
Cut me, Let my blood speak to you.
Kiss me, let my passion speak to you.
Words are useless to explain.
They are weak in comparison.
Let my soul speak to you.
Let me speak and listen true.
I love you.

© Crystal Erickson 11/07