I am glass.
Glass is a strange thing.
Thick enough
It can with stand more pressure than most things can not
Refusing to break
It is strong.
Transparent.
Bullet proof even
It lets all the light in
And even more light out
It can be smooth
Beautiful
However when damaged,
As I am now
It becomes weak in places
So Fragile the wind can shatter it
Thin and rough  
Holding itself together with cracks
Trying not to show it’s chips.
When burned,
Glass turns black.
Smokey
Changing the transparency dark.
No longer letting one see inside.
Not showing what once shined through.
Casting shadows on everything around it.
Glass tries to trace the scars life has left behind.
Tries covering those cracks.
But they are forever
Reminding glass that at one point,
It fought for something.
It believed in something
Even if it left it scared, cracked.
I am glass.

Mental
Physical
I want you wrapped around me
I want your fingers between mine
Your breath over my body
Breathe life into me
I beg you
I want your name engraved on my lips
Your sweetness covering every piece
Molded together
I need you
Inside me, my mind, all of me
Fill my missing parts
Smooth my broken edges
I surrender
Put me back together with your body
With your words
Force me to be hole again  
Blow, break, burn, cool and make me new
Wrap your name tight around my insides
Brand me
I can be what you need
Never ending cravings
I’ll fulfill your needs
Euphoria
I was born to make you feel it
Mentally
Physically

What I imagine
Who I imagine
That kept my heart safe
It isn’t fair
You were supposed to be happy
I kept going
Because you had a good life
I was okay
Because you got everything you wanted.
I didn’t matter
You mattered
Above all, your happiness
But now
Now that I know the truth
Who can survive that?
How am I supposed to go on?
Knowing you’re not a fraction
Of the person
You were supposed to be.
How could you do this to me?
Your smile is gone
Your fire blown out
Your light covered in shade
Where are you now?
How will I survive?

I keep seeing Hawks
On the way to work
Souring through the sky
On the way home
Diving towards the earth

I saw a Hawk outside my window
Sitting on the neighbors roof
I saw one at my parents house
Perched beneath the trees

Each Hawk looks right at me
With little movement we lock eyes
The Hawk knows me,
Recognizes my soul

Seeing a Hawk could mean many things
Protection
You need perspective
Representation of a memory

But overall
It means following your intuition
Intuition
Intuition always leads me
To you

Then again
Seeing a Hawk could also be a warning
That evil is near
Be aware and ready to defend yourself

I guess when it comes
To Hawks
To You
It means the same thing.

I am a warrior.
Stronger than her demons.
Braver than the darkness.

Life never stopped,
No matter what happened.
Life never stopped moving forward.
It didn’t care that I missed you.
It didn’t matter
That “my plans” were ruined
So I moved on.
I fought,
When all I thought I was capable of
Was falling to pieces.
I fought.
Life kicks you when you’re down
You kick back
I lost some days
I lost some weeks
but I never once gave up.
Life doesn’t stop.
So neither did I.
It never allowed me to stop,
I never thought I would get here
But I’m thankful
For both the grief and the grace.