I would like nothing more than to fly
And I would love to touch the sky
But I’m held to the ground
Who put concrete in my shoes?
I would love to fly

I am in a boat
that is slowly sinking
and keep throwing off my rafts
because I am afraid
they will weigh me down

I'm sorry I made you the center of my hurricane
the point which I pivot around
the peak
I'm sorry that I raised you too high
forgetting that you're afraid of heights
I'm sorry I made you the heart
of my universe
forgetting it's lonely out in space
I'm sorry
I didn't mean for it to be like this
I was lonely in space too
I thought
I just thought
maybe we could be lonely together
but I forgot
that sometimes people don't mind being lonely

do you see them there?
heads bowed
heavy with a past
they cannot stomach
do you seem them there?
an aura of gray seems to follow them,
and people step away when they pass
frightened perhaps,
that the misfortune of the less fortunate
will cling to their
expensive coats
and warm mittens
do you see them there?
they do not sing the anthem
or pledge their allegiance
they have no love
for a country that does not love them
they will not lose what is left of their dignity
attempting to run after
a world that has left them in the dust
they are the essence of dust
unclean specks
unimportant to the
                                     big
the
                                     loud
the ones who run the show
they are far from running the show
do you see them there?
breaths catching in the cold air
an unadulterated bitter anger
at those above them
for placing themselves above them
do you see them there?
because sometimes they get
     l
         o
              s
                   t

I knew that they couldn't possibly understand
why I was taking this climb
knew that in a thousand words
I could not explain to them
what would possess someone to jump
to want to fall
so I left no note
and I began my climb
I was intent
oh, so intent
and ready to throw myself to the murky water below
only
when I found myself at the top
I realized I like it that way
being on top
I didn't want to become
another fallen angel
a meteor hurtling towards the earth
no intent but to reach
the ground
to let gravity pull me down
I didn't want to let gravity pull me down
I didn't want to let anything pull me down
I wanted to stay there forever
stuck in that moment
alone, but content
so, so above
I don't need to jump
I am already flying

he raises his hand
raises his head
***** a gun
and turns a key
he's not quite sure what he's looking for
but he can't stay here any longer
can't keep screaming into the quiet
can't keep gasping for breath
way out in space
he ***** a gun
turns a key
and he inches forward
he's desperate to find it
but not so sure he wants to see it
he spots it there
centimeters through the veil
mirror twins
only he can't tell
which one in real
and which one is an illusion
on cold reflective glass
the girl and the faceless thing
the nameless thing and the hopeless thing
he ***** a gun
and turns a key
and he tilts his head
and breathes
only he's forgotten that he can't breathe
so he chokes
and they turn
the girl and the faceless thing
or maybe it's one thing
a faceless girl

I can't hear
over the sound
of this silence
can't breathe,
can't think,
but god,
can I feel.
drowning
crouched in a corner
in a ball curling tighter
and tighter
trying to block out the sound
of this silence
my mind filling it
with paranoia
and insecurity
so
so loud
as I try desperately
to ignore it
to not
misjudge or second guess it
but this silence
is aching
and leaves me quaking
so
so loud
and no matter how much background noise
I add
chattering numbly away
filling the space with
blabber
it's still there
looming
growing
encroaching on my space
as I crouch in my corner
and curl into a ball
tighter
and tighter
trying to get away from it
and this silence
is
so
so loud.