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Blade Maiden Sep 2018

Today autumn arrived
I watched it creep into my room
through an open window

In my bones a familiar feeling thrived
I watched the leafs fall around noon
from the trees below

Coldness came to greet me anew
a comfort of sorts
and I felt so very calm

Warmth came to meet me too
the rooms of one's own turn into charming resorts
candles, tea and a blanket become a weary soul's balm

With it came nostalgia
it slowly made its way under my skin
while colors change the outside

Do you know of this certain cardialgia
your heart is heavy but light but also filled to the brim
while memories of distant winters reach far and wide

Welcome my chilling beloved
my cold season of frozen solid dreams
I was eagerly waiting for your return

For you I ready my coat, already half gloved
I give myself to you by all means
and underneath my halcyon flesh I will quietly yearn
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
Ah
it's cold
and I have a hard time
holding this pen
like I used to

So
I unfold
I'm convinced of my crime
hiding in my den
like I'm used to

And I've been holding on
dreaming, fading,
tired for so long
I remember your voice
Can I ever hold you
can I ever have the choice
I'm not used to

Why is it being so ******* me
how am I always wrong
when the voices tell me I'm free
but really all I want is to belong
Anything could be better
Nothing is the matter

It's alright
go back to sleep
it's just another lonely night
I'll feel better after I weep
til tomorrow
another gloom
wraps me in trivial sorrow,
For you I'll go catch the moon
your blanket looks warm, just tonight, can I borrow
If you don't need me, I promise I'll leave soon
I'm used to
  Sep 2018 Blade Maiden
Mike Hauser
They tossed the golden ring I never caught
Whether or not it was my own fault
Right here, right now is where I'm at
As life gets set for another lap

I can clearly see what's in front of me
Being this close to the dead end street
Miles ago I'd hoped for a cul-de-sac
But imagine that, there ain't no turning back

I'm tired of what these times have done to me
Bent so long you knew I'd break eventually
Which makes me even tireder still
The bend and break of a man's beaten will

At what point did I lose my belief
That the grasp I had would help me to succeed
Did I let go at the last bump in the road
With so many potholes we may never know

It's hard to see through the crack in the windshield
These bitter days what is fake and what is real
As the crack continues widening in its gap
Until the day there won't be any protection left

I'm tired of the same old grind from day to day
And the optimistic crowd that says it'll be okay
I'm tired of this as much as I'm tired of that
Tired of the life that fits all of these facts

You say I'm just feeling sorry for myself
But if I didn't I wonder then who else
Seems I'm stuck inside this all alone
This house I've built that'll never be a home

Which brings me back to the golden ring
Where all I've ever been is a working machine
Taking my fingers down to the bone
Which makes any grasp that much harder to hold

I'm tired of the ups that only let me down
The promise of much that's never ever found
Any fool can see where I'm clearly at
And those that don't well I'm even tired of that

When you stop to think, would death be better than life... Then you know you're tired
Most of what I write is fiction but this is me...16 hours work days and nothing to show makes me feel like I'm just spinning my wheels, which makes me tired
  Sep 2018 Blade Maiden
Eric W
It is in these Winter months
that I tend to grow.
When the ground is barren
and the leaves have fallen,
in the sodden soil,
amongst the muck
and silver snow,
where love toils
and the past makes mockery,
as if the acknowledgment of
my old home, cold and damp,
is not enough to take
seriously where I'm from.
Where floorboards creak,
sighing from the weight of
heavy steps throughout
the years,
the pipes freeze, then burst,
then freeze again,
and we wrap them in blankets
we would otherwise wrap
ourselves,
victims of harsh months,
cold air and throats sore
from yelling into the
weary night.
The home I used to live in is very old and very rundown. Every time the air cools, I'm reminded of it and how it used to feel to live in a home without heat. The Winter months were always the harshest. We would run space heaters (a trade-off on the electric bill, of course) in the bathroom, and that would be our little "pocket of warmth" in the house because it was the smallest room. I think all of this is, to this day, why I prefer a house to stay warmer rather than cooler.

My Mother once asked me if I'd forgotten what it was like in that cold house. I told her I would never.

My throat was sore this morning when I woke up, yet another reminder of the months to come.
  Sep 2018 Blade Maiden
Brandon Conway

Floating brazier spews electric amber waves
as a setting sun radiates on the ceiling
a shadow of a ship coquettishly sways
while in the center charybdis begins swilling

another message, another missed call
another debt collector and his esurient talk
watch the ship begin to swirl, this scene so banal
amber feathered tawny eyed peacock

continues furtively to scroll her story and shoe shop
crowded room with a panel onstage
reality and fantasy evaporate and fall as a single raindrop
drown in the muck, don't know how to disengage

and to stay in the sway of fantasy.
Spent all day in a conference about chemicals. 10 hours. It was quite boring, but the setting was nice.
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