some people think math is beautiful because it's the same in every country
I am not one of those people, the people who see beauty in everything

and I dont needed math to count the days since you have left me..
it were 129 days.. 3096 hours.. 23 minutes and 31 seconds.. since you left
maybe the nigths were harder since you've bin gone, longer and sadder

I wanted to go with you but you never allowed me, he needed his space
I don't believe in 'space' if you love someone you want that person near
he never found that necessary, he never found me necessary

but don't you feel sad for me please, after a while the pain faded away
I learned to deal with the fact he was better of without me..

the picture of his face just wouldnt leave my mind
and the need of wanting the chase him grow everyday..

I waited for days, months, I would wait for years, hours and minutes

waking up every morning still wearing his Iron maiden shirt..
only because I don't want him to leave my life, not for real, imagine

this boy was like a hero from the movies, a prince from the fairytales
a beautiful human being, so different, a melody that kept following me..
he always gave me the feeling of belonging of being worth existing
when I was with him the world was a bit more beautiful

that feeling when you dont even know what the ******* are feeling

I had that, always, whenever I was with him.

little do her parents know they lost their daughter years ago

in her sadness she started having nightmares, cruel thoughts
and confusing them with dreams, everything looked so real

maybe it were the pills she never dared to take or the liquor she drank
the constant need of hiding the fear of being left alone again like always
winter was coming and so was the depression, it scared her to death

everybody's got their demons either wide awake or dreaming
and somethings just need to be mine and mine only..
I always loved to have secrets little things, big things, mysterious things

but with you I felt like I could share anything, the small things, huge
hysterical laughter, feeling miserable and crying like somebody died

if I had the choice to **** myself tonight without hurting you..
I would probably have pulled the trigger a long time ago my darling

and let's be honest it isn't you that keeps me alive, it never was you..
you can't live for another human you have to live because you want too

and maybe I didn't die that night because god wanted me to have this
these memories, the tears and joy, the experience of growing up..

I always was his work of art

a black bracelet, it started with a black bracelet and so it will end.

we fell appart that night under the screaming of the oh so loud crowd
you because of the pills you ate, I because of the whiskey I drank
maybe this was the sign, it was supposed to happen that night..
a sign everything went wrong in our little heads, we were gone

it was that night you called me and telling me to leave
not only you wanted me to leave in spirit but also to leave your heart

she always was so beautiful with the light of the moon shining on her
I loved her like the childeren loved playing with broken dying dolls
and I hated her for wanting me to leave her ugly ****** up heart

it were real feelings, everything was so real..
the feeling of your lips on my cheeks, your hands on my waist
so please don't cry tonight or tomorrow, please be happy my dear
you are a thousand miles away but I still want you to feel like home
the birds aren't singing when you are so far away from me, crying

the ocean was dying and the waves were red from blood, tears.
the smoke in the sky started to form a mirror, I could see myself now.

a black bracelet is were it started, a black bracelet.

it were the dreams in which I was living that made me wanna die

the summer was ending and the cold of the winter was filling my veins
you were leaving my mind like the sun was leaving my dying fantasy..
I am getting older everyday and everyday I need a little bit more *****
running away with you, the person I adore most was all I ever wanted

and every night before I fall asleep I aks myself.. why don't you love me
why don't you have the need to touch me, to share your deepest secrets
you were mysterious like the moon, like the meaning of my tattoo's..

there always was a path of light were you have walked
the riddels you spoke, your angelic voice that haunts me everyday
but you also were dark my dear, dying and hopeless

it felt like flying everytime we kissed, I was happy, you made me happy
but I was fragile, a daughter of the dark, the keeper of sadness, demons
eleven years old when everything went wrong and it all is still wrong
the voices in my head would never let me out of this cage, trapped

september was coming and the clouds coverd my sight of happiness
it was a long way to find a way out of this dark and ****** up forest

and so she died at age seventeen, the graveyard never was this pretty
the stars of the heavens and their constellations didn't shine their light
there were flowers laying on the girl her grave, all grey, black, dying

it was the perfect night to share your tears with the world, so we did

it were the city nights I fell for, the cheap parfume you smelled like

if life was for the living and living was for the dead
than what is the space inbetween.. hate and love are not the same thing
and maybe a long time ago someone should have told me that

feeling like an outcast was like sitting in a train with no destination
you always felt useless, rain was falling that day, like it always did
the times when she was sad, she was so miserable, she felt nothing.

the childeren of the light always were afraid of the darkness
we were never afraid of the darkness because so far as we knew
we were the dark, the kids to be afraid of, the bad youth, the wolves

nobody ever wanted us and thats why all we ever had was each other
and the rockstars who sang along the broken words of songs with us
the tragic melodies were the only sort of comfort I found at night..
when you my bestfriend just as wasted as I am was sleeping..
I needed them, my idols, their voices, the music, to keep me breathing

and maybe we lost her that night for a reason wait no many reasons
it was all meant to be, the shouting and crying, the need to die..
it was a bigger part of our lives, all of that than she will ever be

the girls who had to much alcohol in their blood at night, to much fun
were also the girls who cried to many tears at daylight, to much sadness
we never knew how to handle ourselves, just seeking for aception..
a person who would give a **** about us, someone who would care

life was sad darling, you were so sad, I was so sad, everything was sad
but all the sadness never stopped us from having an amazing time
we needed each other to be happy, I needed you so much..

now it is just us again, you and me against the world
and I think it will always be just you and me, just us
and for me that is okay

because I wouldn't want to make all these memories, these adventures
with anybody else but you, my bestfriend, my sister, my everything.

I was never good at writing love poems untill I met you

we all have this one person you would do anything for, like anything
you could die for that other human without hesitation, without doubt

they know each other for almost a year now and a lot had changed
she fell in love with her that year and it killed you inside, everything
she wanted to give up on her so many times, it was so so hopless
and I knew, I knew you loved me, I knew you were in love with me

maybe she was just afraid to let someone in, to let someone love her
it was the darkness that was always haunting her, the demons inside
I remember the first time the razors kissed my veins, it was a thursday
I remember the blood and the crying, the shame and the crying, crying

it were the wodka and punk rock music the piercings and tattoos
the time of high wasted jeans and timberlands, red lipstick and eyeliner
the stories the kids told on the street were probably made up, fake
even the broken childeren needed a laugh once in a while, fake
nobody thought that we also deserved to be happy, just for once..

we could blame it on the internet or television, the time we live in
blame our parents for not loving us the way they should love us
the pills we ate every night just to find a way to escape this **** hole

this girl always made feel a little bit more alive but now she's gone
she's gone and I know she is coming back soon but she feels gone
like that part of me that was made for her is gone, I feel alone again
music is filling the hole what is left crying in my heart, my soul

and if I begged you would you stop this, the feeling of loneliness
can you stop me from hurting myself, stop me from being worthless
happy endings are made for happy people, I am not getting one, ever

I always was a sucker for attention and cheap love, dont blame me

love poems aren't a thing for me.

the lights went off and the music began to play louder
there was alcohol everywhere and the feeling of living faded
being numb was the only thing every single teenager was craving for

and if I said I would miss you I would be lying
and if I told you the truth oh girl you would be dying

this love was special, this love was rare, not like the other summer
it seemed to good to be true and I started to realize I didn't deserve
your kisses, your hugs, the way you held my hand while walking

playing games with the hearts of the people I love most, it was wrong
dancing in the dark with demons, the devil was calling my name, love
I never was afraid of the things normal people would be afraid of, never

it was on a sunday when I realized this had to stop sooner or later
you were way too precious to let a broken soul ruin your beautiful heart
it was the way she looked at me at night when the moon was full, bright
it made me question everything I ever believed in, was it worth it all.

remember that night when we were dancing darling, drunk and happy
I want you to remember those nights when I am leaving tomorrow
the sun is calling my name, the adventure of the unknown, I want it
I need to get out of this city, this life and this world, Im going crazy

depression was a thing no one did and no one will ever understand
and that is okay we don't need to know everything, but let me be
I need to deal with this emotions my own way, the darkness, demons

believe me there is going to be a day I will free from all of this ..
but this is not my time yet, let me be sad and angry and misunderstood

most teenagers just need a hug..
I need an escape.