Scattered things like lost souls
Scream their futility.
Trinkets and trash charged with endless possibilities.
Illusions of how life could be better so,
I collect scraps of waste masked as human invention
New technologies, toys, and other luxuries
Drive that dark spear of desire deeper into my being.
Want is a sickness, a fever that cycles on and off.
I have I want, I want I need, I need I get.
I get I have, I have I want, I want I need
A scary situation and in its pursuit
I place myself in painful positions
Paying with large chunks of my life.
I get more and as it become easier.
My urges get stronger and stranger,
Joy becomes that much harder to find.
Get it get it get it get it get it
Buy buy buy buy buy buy
Till the pile stacks up so high
That I live and die inside
The world of crap I bought.
Once I start it is hard to stop
And I become the sole possessor
Of this sick collectors disposition.

sometimes i think about you,
and i want to cry until i drown
in self pity and salty tears.

As I look into the future as far as I can see,
I can see nothing except you being with me.
You are in all of my dreams whether I'm awake or asleep,
My love for you is not going anywhere Because it's way to deep.

There is nothing I can do to make it go away,
I'm in love with you Jadyn and my love is here to stay.
The feelings I have, I have never felt before,
I don't want anybody else and I know this for sure.

If I can't have you I would rather die alone,
The happiest day of my life was when I called you on the phone.
No one could ever make me feel the way I do with you,
The love I feel with you is something totally new.

I want you to come back into my wind,
Not as a friend but as my boyfriend.
I want to be your lover and your best friend,
I want to grow old with you until the very end.

I dream in the future you'll call and say I am the one,
That you have decided that we are not yet done.
I pray that someday my dreams will come true,
I have This dream everyday because I'm in love with you

She said,
She loved me,
As she pulled me closer,
But...

It was the first time I ever heard those words,
And I didn't quite understand it at first,
But the thought of it made my heart race,
As she would continue to kiss every word from my lips,
Just to see if I would try and fight it,
But instead I would bite it,
And grab her hips as she closed in,
Yet,

She said,
She loved me,
As she fed me,
But...

I would hear the words,
Over, and over,
And I couldn't help it,
Desires enticed a mind so young,
That the words would only be caught,
Just like a cat that caught the tongue,
She would have me locked in with no escape,
Hands locked together,
Playing like she through me down,
Until I rolled up top and had her pinned down,
And I knew she could feel me,
She always did,
And that's when...

She said,
She loved me,
As she brushed her fingertips across my chest,
But,

She loved me more than I knew,
For she was ready,
I was too busy sweating,
Wondering how prepared I was,

She said,
She loved me,
Before she closed her eyes,
But...

It was the last time I ever heard those words,
And to think the last would be a good as it first,
From start to finish,
We knew one lies, for,
I woke up by myself,
But another me, woke up leaving,
Knowing that two points could make one mistake,
Because,

She said,
She Loved Me

I tried to limit myself from moving about.
The more places I moved the more darkness I spread..
But I also noticed, the longer I stood in one area.
The darker it became.
I was a misunderstood shadow..
In a world made entirely of light...
I need to get back home..

I returned to the place I was before. It was easy to find as I tracked my dark steps back to the light door I came through.  Seemed every dark step was being analized by a light being.  All of them had an object I remember seeing right before I came here.  It was the same objects I saw the three figures take into the light door right before I went through.  The object then seem to absorb my dark step returning it back to its light state.  It soon got to a point where the light beings were following me with these dark absorbing objects.  I was like a moving car leaking oil. I know soon that I will be found.  I then heard thunder above.  A glowing light blue rain fell from the light clouds.  The raindrops that fell on me became dark drops as they ran along the light road.  My darkness was spreading! I need to get to cover!

i.

roses in the dust,
winter-love greys, shadows
of a lost world.

ii.

i was much smaller than i thought
and the sky
a rounded dome,

a cathedral of light
with stone arches

river-green pillars

and the blue-green
emotions
of dream....

iii.

imagination
waited, an
opal star
blown against
the tide.

iv.

all i could see was the
blues and greens
paper blushed,

clouds and watermarks,

watery daylight
like a glistening pool

as if the sky
was a stained window
and there was
no fire,
only a scattering
of light

only softness
of the heart,
only the magics

of its mirror mists.

v.

like maple leaves
fallen in a
stream filled
with moonlight
in the rivery
nets of the soul.