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May 2021
I look at you and wonder
What you see in me
Because when I look into the mirror
I only see what I can't be

You have witnessed me at my worst
Yet still treat me as if I am gold
Even when I have had a ****** morning
And take it out on you by acting cold

I never suspected we'd hit it off
You didn't seem to like me at first
But some invisible line drew you in
By the universe's hand were coerced

So I knew it probably wouldn't work
But figured it was worth a try
What do either of us have to lose?
Except the time that passes by

I hate gazing upon your face
When it is concerned and full of hurt
Wish I cared enough to change
Instead I respond by being curt

Yet you remain by my side
No matter how little I deserve it
I keep waiting for the day
You finally get fed up and split

And as I sink into addiction
I fear you too will be dragged under
Directly affected by my every move
Negatively impacted by each blunder

I listen to your words of advice
Can't seem to apply them to my routine
Know what's best for me before you say
Wisdom and willpower I am stuck between

You just want to stifle my sadness
Believing you know how
But trust me if there was a way
I would have figured it out by now

Sometimes I just need a hand
To clutch when I get scared
And wait patiently while my own fingers
Slowly render my damage repaired

You see my untapped potential
And the best of who I am
I think I'm no good for you
But you don't give a ****

Don't say I didn't warn you
To stay the hell away
You ignored my futile attempts
Despite the risk you chose to stay

I hope I can treat you better
Improve my actions and soul
Before my obscene lifestyle
On yours starts taking a toll

Thank you for doing little things
To see my crooked smile
And overcome my bad attitude
When I am hardened and hostile

If you decide its too much to handle
I wouldn't blame you for giving up on this
But if you are determined to stick around
I devote myself to you with every kiss
Amanda Kay Burke
Written by
Amanda Kay Burke  28/F/Alaska
(28/F/Alaska)   
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